If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I’d wonder if Jim was asking me to marry him because he’d gotten used to having me around. I’d wonder if I had said “yes” because I was afraid of being alone and having to open jars by myself. But when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my mind that we’re freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates who had learned to put up with each other, but as two people that have freely chosen to love each other.
I have read a few articles and Q&A’s in lifeteen.com (such as “If you love me… lead me to Christ”), which a number of them mentioned the struggles with falling into temptation and getting more physical in dating relationships. My question is this, regarding to physical intimacy, how much is too much? How far is too far?
Choosing to center your relationship on Christ is going to bring you the most peace and lasting happiness. I’m glad that you want more for yourself than to settle for falling into a pattern of sin.
Sometimes we, as Catholics, think going to Confession and promising it (our sin) won’t happen again will magically give us the power to stop sinning. While Confession is a great start, it is just that – a starting place. God gives us grace to continue moving forward, He offers us help to avoid sin, and we have to do our part to follow His path to holiness.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
Q: I was wondering if you have any advice for guys trying to remain pure. I know a lot of my friends and I have struggled in relationships because we found it so hard to remain pure with all of the pressure around us.
A: Thanks for the email, and I want to affirm you for pursuing purity. Here are a few tips that come to mind:
Of course, you should continue to pray at all times, but especially before you go on a date or spend time with your boyfriend. Pray that you will make good decisions. Ask for the wisdom, courage, and prudence to avoid temptation and the situations where it lingers. Whether that means you’ll leave the place you find yourself in, surround yourself by others, or end the date early.
Q: How do I know if the person I’m dating is “the one”? What if I miss out on my soulmate? A: I have to admit that Courtney (my wife) was not the first “one” I had ever dated. I dated other girls before her, and there was even one or two that I thought […]
One day, a handsome, mysterious stranger walked into the shop where I work and I gave him a job. I had no idea where he had come from or how he found me, but we needed the help and he was willing to work. Over time, despite many obstacles, we fell in love…
So in an attempt to redeem myself (because apparently 'Just deal with it' doesn't cut it) here are some of the ways I've learned I can change my bad day into a day in which I feel blessed.
It means waiting for the person God intended you to be with, and especially saving sex for marriage. The world says, 'Go ahead . . . do whatever you want, whenever you want, as long as it makes you feel good.' God made sex, and He made it to be an expression of free and fruitful love in the context of marriage. Don’t forget though, that it’s never too late to recommit to purity if you’ve already fallen. None of us are perfect; it’s very hard to stay pure.
One night in high school, my ex-boyfriend's best friend called me up. He told me that he and his girlfriend, and my ex-boyfriend, were all hanging out, and that I should come over. From the tone in his voice and slight innuendo in his words, I knew what this meant.
My ex-boyfriend and I had played the 'friends with benefits' game before. Thus I wasn't surprised and actually felt a bit flattered that this popular, talented, good-looking guy would beckon me to him, even if we weren't still dating.
I excitedly rushed over to the best friend's house, greeted everyone, and proceeded to 'hang out' exclusively with my ex-boyfriend. I didn't see anything wrong with making-out with my ex-boyfriend, because after all, I wasn't having sex.