Come Find Me: My Spiritual Hide-And-Seek

“Ready or not, here I come!”

That was the anthem of my childhood. Growing up, Hide-and-Seek was the one game that my five siblings and I would always agree on. Despite how much I hated to be “it”, I remember feeling so much power as I finished shrieking numbers and could finally open my eyes. I also remember the fear that those words (ready or not) instilled in my heart.

No matter how well I was hidden, I would hold my breath, desperately hoping that I wouldn’t be found. I would wait with eyes closed (because that helps for some reason, don’t ask), begging my heart to shut up.

Waiting. It’s not fun.

There is a lot of waiting that goes on in our lives. We wait for mundane things, like getting tests back, YouTube videos to load, and Matt Maher’s next album.

I wait for God a lot.

I wait for Him to answer my prayers. I wait for Him to help me understand people and relationships. For Him to heal my heart. For Him to make things work out. For Him to tell me what I’m supposed to do with my life.
I hide from God a lot.

I’m fearful of Him. I’m scared of what I’ll lose if I give it all to Him. So instead of letting Him find me, I oftentimes have an eat-and-run relationship with Him. I tell Him everything that is wrong with my life. And then as soon as I’m done talking, I retreat to under my bed where where I am hidden from His awesome power that makes me uncomfortable.
God is patient. He waits for me a lot.

I can see His feet from where I hide. I just want to reach out and let Him pull me out, but then what? What insanity will happen to if I let Him take over?

But this incredible God is waiting for little me to sort out whether or not I want to stay under the bed or come out and be free. He already picked me. Now He’s waiting for me to pick Him.

The thing with Hide-and-Seek is that even though you don’t want to be found right away, you don’t want to stay hidden forever. After a while, under the bed makes you claustrophobic and you can barely move. Soon, you don’t care whether or not you win, you just want to come out into the light.

Recently, I came to the point where I was just like, “God, I don’t know where I’m at. I can’t see anymore. I can’t fix any of this mess. I can’t figure life out. I need you. Come find me.”

Come find me. I prayed those words again and again. Since praying that, I’ve been falling on my knees a lot more and in doing so, falling on God. He’s given me grace to give Him everything, because ultimately, it’s all His. It’s not just a once-in-a-lifetime thing. I have to ask Him to help me allow myself to be found every single day.

No matter what happens to me, He is with me and He wants the best for me. He doesn’t just want it, though; He does the best for me. So there is no reason for me to be afraid.

This Lent, think about what you are “hiding” from God. Ask Him to find you, to heal your hurt, to take control of your life. Be fearless. Go to Confession and experience His grace and mercy.

When I allow God to take control of everything, life becomes so rich and full. I get so much more out of Mass and youth group. Life can still be messy, but I am so much more peaceful when I am grounded in Him.

No matter how much you hide, God will always seek you. He always knows where you are, with everything in your life. But He gave us the gift of free-will, so He won’t force you to be with Him until you ask Him to come find you.

God loves you so much and wants to find you. When you are ready to be found, He will scream “Here I come!” and He will run to meet you with open arms. All you have to do is ask Him to help you open your heart and say “come find me.” He’ll take care of the rest.

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