Q: I’ve noticed that every time I meet a new guy, and we start to become friends, I instantly start looking at our relationship as a potential “more than friends” kind of relationship. Sometimes I take it as far as imagining what life would be like if I did marry that person. I’m not sure how to get out of this. I want to be friends with guys.
Choosing to center your relationship on Christ is going to bring you the most peace and lasting happiness. I’m glad that you want more for yourself than to settle for falling into a pattern of sin.
Sometimes we, as Catholics, think going to Confession and promising it (our sin) won’t happen again will magically give us the power to stop sinning. While Confession is a great start, it is just that – a starting place. God gives us grace to continue moving forward, He offers us help to avoid sin, and we have to do our part to follow His path to holiness.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.
…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
So was it wrong that I had once had a crush on my friend’s future husband? No, I don’t think so. Having a crush on someone is totally normal. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else, and it’s good to be drawn to those good characteristics that we notice in them. We’re designed to interact and form relationships with other people. As we spend time with others, it’s totally normal to find ourselves “crushing” on someone because we think he’s really funny or cute or sweet or witty or holy or, worst of all, all of the above!!
Of course, you should continue to pray at all times, but especially before you go on a date or spend time with your boyfriend. Pray that you will make good decisions. Ask for the wisdom, courage, and prudence to avoid temptation and the situations where it lingers. Whether that means you’ll leave the place you find yourself in, surround yourself by others, or end the date early.
I’ve been best friends with a guy for awhile. But now I feel like there could be something more to our relationship. I am scared to tell him how I feel, scared to ruin our awesome friendship, yet I feel so ready to be in a relationship. Should I tell him how I feel?
Mary’s pregnancy was unlike any other pregnancy ever. No one around her could understand what she was going through. Despite all these unknowns, Mary’s trust and confidence in God was steady and strong. During her pregnancy (after traveling about 80 miles to visit her cousin Elizabeth) she spoke of God’s greatness, “My spirit rejoices in God my Savior” (Luke 1:47).
Q: Do you have any advice for getting through a breakup? A: Listen to Taylor Swift’s “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” (or something comparable) over and over again. Eat a pint of ice cream or a box of chocolates. Let yourself be sad… for a little while. Then start moving on. How? Try […]
It turns out he was right! Shortly after ending things with my boyfriend, the uncle of one my students asked me out. Turns out he had seen me months earlier and wanted to ask me out, but heard I had a boyfriend and stayed away.
One year later, we were married.
Now it doesn’t always happen this fast. But it’s not going to happen at all if you cling to mediocre or bad relationships. Likewise, if you’re single – entering into a relationship just to be dating is not going to improve your chances of finding the right guy.
So you've met a guy. What do you do next? Act interested? But you don't want to come on too strong. Ignore him? But then he won't know you're alive. Knock him to the ground? No, that only works in first grade. Though I've landed quite a catch now (shout out to my wonderful husband, Brian!), I remember it all too well . . . trying to get the attention of a guy you're interested in without making a fool of yourself.