Editor’s Note: This blog is part of a series of blogs submitted by our readers that relates to our 2015 theme of Glorify. If you would like to submit a blog about how God’s glory was revealed in your life this past year, please see these guidelines.
Two years ago, my parents separated. It was a really difficult situation for my family and, at the time, it caused a lot of wounds. When a family breaks down, it’s tough for the children no matter what age they are. I went to college, leaving my parents at home, and came back one spring break to everything changed. The house no longer felt like my home, no matter what my parents said, I felt as though my identity had been torn apart. For a long time I felt completely lost; I had forgotten who I was.
This past summer, I travelled across the world to be a Summer Missionary at Camp Hidden Lake. While it was a wonderful adventure, I was homesick and struggled with feeling I didn’t have a “home” anymore. It was during spiritual direction that I received the advice that helped me to stay grounded through this homesickness: “Give it to Jesus. Sit at His feet and give it to Him.” I pictured myself sitting at the bottom of that cross looking up at Jesus experiencing exactly what it says in Scripture, “The Lord heals the broken-hearted, He binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3) I have a picture drawn in my journal from this conversation, of a heart that’s broken apart, and holding the heart together is the cross.
This is the image I carried with me this summer, and as we greeted campers every Monday with “Welcome Home,” it wasn’t a cliché. Hidden Lake really became a home. I’d been given a beautiful family in my missionary brothers and sisters. These amazing people showed me the love of Christ every single day. I realized, with them, I could be the real authentic me. I began to consistently give my restless heart to Jesus and asked Him to show me where I was going to feel this same sense of belonging once I returned to the UK.
It was towards the end of our session, during Friday night adoration that everything became crystal clear. Fr. Matt processed the Eucharist around the room, and in and out of the crowd. We were singing “Good, Good Father,” and as Jesus passed by me, I looked at Him and begged Him to show me the truth in that song. I heard Him say these simple, yet profound words, “I’ve always loved you, even when you didn’t love me, I loved you.” I’ve never heard Jesus speak so clearly; it was awesome! I knew that Jesus was calling me to let Him love me, that He wanted me to make my home in Him.
Before serving with Life Teen, I never would have described myself as a beloved daughter of God. Imagine that game you play on the first day of class, “tell us your name and a fun fact about yourself.” How often do I tell people all of the temporary qualities about me? Like how I’m feeling that day, or my hobbies that change so often, yet I don’t mention the most fundamental truth of my life! This summer, God reminded me that I am His child, and in that fact alone I find my identity. I know that in all the craziness that life brings, especially with my family, I can run to Him and find my home in His loving arms. Praise God for His love and faithfulness!
