Have you ever physically felt heaviness in your heart? Whether you’re a guy or a girl, heartbreak is painful. #RealTalk

People handle the heartbreak in different ways, but some are healthier than others. I learned my lesson the hard way.

I allowed someone to use me, instead of authentically love me. The way I was used in the relationship wasn’t even the thing to disgust me the most. Looking back, the fact that I allowed myself to be treated that way was the thing that made me so sick.

Nobody knew what I went through. Everything was between me and God. I didn’t want others to know because I didn’t want to be judged or looked down on by my friends who looked ever-so-virtuous compared to me.

Peace in His Presence

After weeks and months of prayer I finally felt Christ’s peace in my heart, beginning to heal the deep wounds. Healing is a slow process for most, so use this time to grow in virtue (especially patience).

Emotions are natural. Please don’t ever get frustrated with your “feelings.” They are there for a reason and can come or go at any time. We are not held accountable for how we feel, but we are for how we behave or act on those feelings.

I pray that you would have the courage to face your feelings and deal with them through prayer or professional help.

Adoration radically changed my life during this time. I came to realize Christ accepted me, no matter how many wounds or faults I had. He loved me. He spoke to me in those moments of weakness to choose mercy over hate. He showed me the meaning of true love and the ugliness of judgement.

I remember distinctly one night, lying on the floor before His presence, meditating on His example on the Cross. Christ came into the world and was only loved by a few, and hated by the vast majority due to what He stood for. He was crucified because of hatred. He died due to the love He had for you and I. He voluntarily took on flesh to endure the utmost suffering on earth. He embraced the cross because by it, He could prove His love for us and open heaven for us.

Love Greater Than Fear

The Cross is greatest example of what love truly looks like. Try each day to emulate Christ. Love without limits and suffer without complaint. Find the joy and mercy in carrying your cross. When you seek refuge, seek Him. Christ knows better than anyone the sacrifice that love can include. If Christ didn’t come and risk everything for us, we wouldn’t know the joy of having a real and authentic relationship with our Lord.

It’s been difficult to open myself up to love again after being hurt. I was scared to be vulnerable with another person. But I can tell you how much greater it is to have confidence in the Lord and His plan. To love all who cross your path instead of living in fear is a great place to be. Sure, it can be scary at first, but to have trust in the Almighty means you should never fear.

So why does a love for Christ diminish the fear to love someone? Saint Catherine of Siena once said, “Everything comes from love, all is ordained for the salvation of man, God does nothing without this goal in mind.” I promise, and so does Christ, that all you go through is used for a greater good later on in life.

Think of your life as a book full of many chapters. It’s okay to end one and open another. That takes courage.

So the next time that special someone walks into your life, yes, you’ll be scared. Take a deep breath and calm down, it’s normal.

The right person (even if they’re not “the one”) will make you have those feelings that once belonged to another. Thus awakening your heart, filling it with love. And at that moment, you’ll make a tough choice between giving yourself a chance to love again, or not. I suggest you do. I hope you do. In fact, I pray all you can open your heart to love again because fear is not of God.