Let’s recap. Lent comes along every year. And every year you think you should give up something that will be A) difficult, B) life-changing, and C) creative.

So last year we gave you 25 creative ideas of what to give up for Lent, and 20 weird ideas if you’re that kind of person. But deep down I knew I could do better. I could give you more. Because I love you that’s why. Don’t believe me? Just watch.

I present to you 102 things to give up for Lent. I stretched every muscle in my brain to come up with this list for you. Now you absolutely have NO excuse that you “can’t think of what to give up for Lent” because I DID ALL THE THINKING FOR YOU. And my head hurts now.

What you should really give up (or take up) for Lent:

1. Snacking between meals.
2. Cracking your knuckles.
3. Plumber’s crack.
4. Instagram filters.
5. Being a backseat driver.
6. Listening to music in the car.
7. Texting and driving.
8. Making out.
9. Using emojis to avoid talking about your true feelings.
10. Talking about true feelings through text instead of in person.
11. Not inviting your friends to Mass and Life Night because SCARY! Reputation!
12. Rolling your eyes at your parents.
13. Spitting out your gum on the street, parking lot, sidewalk.
14. Wishing for someone else’s life, relationship, or possessions.
15. Complaining.
16. The phrase, “I can’t even.”
17. Only talking to Jesus when you need something.
18. Only talking to Jesus when you “feel” like it.
19. Wearing clothes that are too tight and draw attention only to your body.
20. Pride. Instead pray the Litany of Humility every day.
21. Being selfish. Give away something every single day, be it time, money, or something you own.
22. Greed. Don’t buy anything besides the essentials during Lent. Food. Lent Companion. Transportation costs. Allergy medicine. Bare minimums!
23. Laziness. Give up TV and commit to going to a walk every day and praying the rosary.
24. Gossip. Write 40 affirmation notes (or a note every time you slip up and gossip).
25. Impure thoughts and actions, fast from eating between meals and from sweets. Train your body to be obedient to your will.
26. Saying “God” or “Jesus” outside of a prayer, memorize Ephesians 4:29 and repeat it on the hour, every hour during the day.
27. If you lie, get up. Walking is cool.
28. If you’re angry, take up kickboxing.
29. If you’re complacent, take up Zumba.
30. If you’re my mom, please don’t do either.
31. If you’re addicted to porn, sign up for CovenantEyes.com.
32. If you occasionally look at porn, sign up for CovenantEyes.com.
33. If you’re an emotional eater, keep a food/feelings journal and find your triggers.
34. If you’re wasteful, volunteer once a week at a soup kitchen.
35. If you have road rage, don’t drive.
36. Just kidding. See #28.
37. If you don’t trust God, pray the Chaplet of Divine Mercy every day.
38. If you’re judgmental, pray for every person you see.
39. If you’re vain, give up makeup or your mirror.
40. If you have no idea what sins you struggle with, do an examination of conscience every night.
41. Listen to Fr. Mike’s podcasts. He’s cool and humble about being cool.
42. Give up tanning. You so pret-taaaayyy… alread-aaayyy…
43. Watching VHS tapes and not rewinding them.
44. Forgetting to water your plants.
45. Forgetting to wear pants.
46. Fake cleaning your room.
47. Using the word “can’t.”
48. Using the word “bae.”
49. Using words that don’t glorify God. See #26.
50. Bad jokes.
51. Trolling online.
52. Being sarcastic.
53. But that’s impossible for you so forget it.
54. Oh my gosh I need to stop being sarcastic. Pray for me.
55. Do back to back to back novenas for the Life Teen Staff and Missionaries.
56. Pizza.
57. Gluten.
58. Eating meat.
59. Eating animal products.
60. Talking about your special diet to get attention.
61. Texting the opposite sex to get attention.
62. Sexting.
63. Sending snapchats of strangers.
64. Sending snapchats to strangers.
65. Not smiling at strangers.
66. I’m on a roll with the strangers topic.
67. PIZZA ROLLS. Sorry Tostinos.
68. Not apologizing when you should because it’s hard to admit you’re wrong.
69. Not going to Confession because it’s scary.
70. Not dancing out of the Confessional with the joy of an innocent newborn!
71. Getting your nails done.
72. Making excuses to not go to daily Mass.
73. Thinking about food all during daily Mass.
74. Eating donuts as a reward after daily Mass.
75. Sugar and/or creamer in your coffee.
76. Drinking more than 1 cup of coffee.
77. Underage drinking.
78. Energy drinks.
79. Soda.
80. Buying spiritual books and not reading them.
81. Buying into the idea that RELATIONSHIP GOALS should be like movies and Tumblr pictures.
82. Not reading the lives of the saints because they “might” be boring.
83. Not asking your favorite saints to intercede for you.
84. Taking off your saint medals, saint bracelets, scapular…etc. Leave it on bruh.
85. Leaving Facebook and/or Twitter open while you’re doing homework.
86. Checking your phone every 2 minutes. (LOL. You know it’s 30 seconds.)
87. Opening the fridge just to look at the same stuff that’s been there all day.
88. Telling yourself you’re fat.
89. And stupid. And anything less than the truth that you’re an amazing beloved child of God.
90. Leaving lights on.
91. Hiding your light under a bushel basket.
92. Not instagraming the shizam out of your bushel basket because it’s rare to have one.
93. The basket is metaphorical. #92 was sarcastic. Please go back to #54.
94. Pulling the victim card when things go wrong.
95. Being embarrassed when you need help from a therapist in order to live a happy, full life.
96. Not going to counseling or therapy because you think it means you’re weak. (Newsflash, it means you’re the opposite — Hulk-like-strong-and-courageous.)
97. Pretending you don’t have time to go to Adoration.
98. Pretending you don’t have time to pray at home.
99. Staying closed off to the glory of God’s presence around you all day ‘ery day.
100. Refusing to recognize God in your neighbor.
101. And God in your family. Even the most annoying members. God loves them. How will you?
102. Hiding your faith from those around you. It’s Lent. Share what God is doing in your life these 40 days. #Lent

That only took all year for me to come up with this list. I hope it helps. I hope it made you smile. And I hope it blesses your Lent this year.

I’m praying for you.

Photo by William Bird, logo added.

To enter more deeply into the season of Lent with a daily prayer companion, check out Glorious Wounds.