High School

You Can’t Sit With Us: The Secret of Being a Mean Girl:

Posted on by Annie Downs

*Editor’s Note: This is a guest post from Annie Downs. Annie is an author and speaker based in Nashville, Tennessee. Her new book Speak Love reminds teen girls that their words matter and waves goodbye to the mean girl mentality. Read more at anniedowns.com or follow her on twitter @anniedowns.

We followed her into the classroom. Two of us. One of her. She needed to know that she was wrong, that she had made a mistake and the two of us had been voted the group representatives to tell her so. There was no yelling or shoving or violence. Just words. Venom-laced words, warning her to never do or say that again.

That was the last time she came to our church.

Yep. Church.

It makes me feel sick, the fact that I have mean girl memories. It reminds me of the actual truth – insecurities ruled my life and others suffered at the hands (mouth?) of my pain. I needed other people’s approval to even attempt to like myself and I was pretty willing to hurt others if that meant I was liked.

I’m different now. I see the power of words and I work to choose kindness over insecurities because I’ve tried both. Being the mean girl doesn’t quench my thirsty soul. It’s like soda- it may taste good for a minute, but it makes you want more. It doesn’t refresh or quench like water. Like grace.

That was twenty years ago, and I can still look culture and see the mean girl mentality pervasive in schools, places of worship, homes, and the internet.

You see it too, don’t you? You see the way girls treat each other. We may have been taught “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me,” but have you ever heard a less-true statement? Words hurt. Words break. And if we don’t stand up to the mean girl mentality, you will always see it.

But we don’t have to.

You could be the last generation to ever know who the mean girl is. We can get rid of her and that starts with making sure that you and I aren’t BEING the mean girl. When you feel the pull or the pressure or the desire to be her, remember this:

1. The mean girl never wins in the end.

It may look like she has won when you see her gloating at a football game or writing biting comments on Instagram. But the truth is that she is hurting and if she keeps up this behavior, she will continue to hurt long after you know her name or care what she thinks of you.

2. Forget the pile mentality.

There is not a pile and you don’t need to get to the top of it. In school, there is a feeling of social hierarchy, but ignore it. It’s not real life. The most popular girl at your school? She’ll go to college and be a freshman and no one will know her. The pile is an illusion.

3. Like what you like.

It’s hard to be the mean girl when you are having a great time. If you are hanging with people you like (in real life or online) and participating in activities you like (whether they are labeled “cool” or not), you don’t have time or energy to be mean. You are you on purpose- like the things you like, like the people you like, and be glad to be you.

4. Use your words well.

You have so much power with your words. Don’t quit using them, don’t walk away from the internet or your friends. Recognize that you can change someone’s whole day with just a kind word.

5. Be brave.

It isn’t easy swimming upstream, going against culture and deciding to stand up when others back away. Be brave with your words, be brave with your friendships. Don’t be the girl that has to be at the top of the pile. Be the girl who is wise enough to recognize the pile doesn’t exist and brave enough to build something new there.

In Name Only?: When Your Catholic School Isn’t Very Catholic:

Posted on by Rachel Allen

“All-school Mass today? Sweet, that means no math class first period!”

“Pro-Life March? You mean three days off school and a trip to D.C.!”

“Would anyone like to say a prayer to start class?” *crickets*

Man . . . do any Catholics even go to this school?!

I went to Catholic schools my entire life, and I’m not gonna lie: sometimes, I wondered. It often felt like we were Catholic in name only – and even then, it’s not like we wrote it boldly across our t-shirts.

We had all the right Catholic things: sacraments, religion classes, retreats, etc. – but just because we had all the right Catholic things didn’t mean people cared about living their Catholic life. Students napped during Mass. The same three kids volunteered to lead prayer in class (more because they hated awkward silences, not so much because they liked prayer). And retreats… well, most of them left a lot to be desired. We were a Catholic school – so why didn’t anyone care about Catholic stuff?

Obviously, appearances can be deceiving. We don’t know where people are really at – I know that many of my teachers and campus ministers worked hard to help the students grow in faith. I also know that I am partially to blame for things not being ‘Catholic enough,’ because as much as I cared about my faith, I was terrified of being the only who expressed it (especially as an underclassman… I did get braver as time went on). I’m sure I had other classmates who felt the same way.

But when you are a fired-up, fearless, Catholic teenager wandering the halls of a (seemingly) un-Catholic high school, you might want to push for things to be a little more Catholic – and there’s nothing wrong with that.

Here are some ideas, based on my high school experience and some of the awesome Catholic high schools I’ve been to lately, to help you make your school a little more Catholic:

  1. Morning Prayer – start the day right. Most Catholic schools have some kind of organized prayer at the beginning and the end of the day; what does that look like in your school? Is it student-led? If it isn’t… shouldn’t it be? Do you have ideas on how to make it more applicable to the student body?
  2. Daily Mass – a lot of this depends on whether or not you have access to a priest, of course. At my high school, we were able to have Mass on Tuesdays and Fridays before school started. My personal favorite was Fridays during football season, when Coach made all the players attend…
  3. Reconciliation – again, this depends on priestly availability. I went to a high school recently where a local parish priest is also assigned to their school twice a week to hear confessions during the lunch hour. You could always contact your bishop and ask for the same thing to happen at your school.
  4. Campus Ministry – get involved! James 1:22 says, “Be doers of the Word and not hearers only.” If you want things to change, change them. Help plan all-school Masses and prayer services. Be the upperclassman who leads small groups for underclassmen retreat days. If something is missing, start it. We had a campus ministry club, but no specific Pro-Life club, so my junior year, I started one with a classmate. We did four or five events every school year and made sure we had leaders in place behind us to keep it going after graduation.
  5. Bring faith into everything else – do you play sports? Lead a team prayer at the beginning and end of every practice. Are you on the newspaper? Start a column about spiritual life and faith issues. Theater kid? Pipe some Christian jams over the speakers during those overnight set-building bonanzas. Or at the very least, make sure they don’t play Robin Thicke… JPII said that it doesn’t matter how you pray, as long as you pray. By bringing your faith into the activities you already love, you can make them a prayer, too.
  6. And while we’re on the subject of prayer . . . Pray – Pray in class. Pray at the lunch table. Pray at meetings. Why not?! It doesn’t need to be fancy or complicated, it just needs to happen. If you want your Catholic school to be more Catholic, it starts with you being more Catholic, so get praying.

At World Youth Day this summer, Pope Francis said the best evangelist of a young person is another young person. That’s you. So, if you want your Catholic school to be more Catholic, get to work.

Some of these ideas might sound cool. Some might sound like social suicide. Don’t worry about it – once I got a little more confident in sharing my faith, I became “that kid” in high school.

And rest assured, I still had plans on the weekends. I still had friends. I even had a boyfriend! Because there’s nothing more attractive than being who you really are – so if you want your school to look its best, then help it be what it is: Catholic.

New Year, New You: Recreating Yourself this School Year:

Posted on by Michelle Neitzke

New shoes . . .
New school supplies . . .
New teachers . . .
New classes . . .
New grade level . . .
New clothes . . .
New schedule . . .
New locker . . .

Sound familiar? The list goes on and on, but the theme is consistent, this school year isn’t that same as last years, it’s different, it’s new.

Whether you are eagerly organizing your classes with color coded folders or trying to somehow figure out how you can make the sweetness of summer last just a little bit longer, the truth is, school is back in session.

New school years for me always brought a mix of fear, excitement and anxiety. Don’t be fooled. None of my concern was about tests or academics, sports or activities (you know, the reasons we go to school.) I was concerned about things like having the perfect first day of school outfit, finding my friends at lunch, who was in my classes, and yes, which boys got cuter over the summer.

One thing I remember about high school was that there was a lot of pressure to “be somebody.” There were so many different molds to fit, so many different crowds to hang out with.

When I was in high school I had a friend who was always changing her image. One day she was sporty, the next month she was preppy, the next month she was into skateboarding. You really never knew what was next. My friend did this because she wanted so desperately to fit in, but the truth is, she wasn’t being faithful to who she was.

I think sometimes we put all of our energy in creating and recreating “images” of ourselves that are only visible on the outside. When we do this, we fail to focus on being the best person we can be on the inside, in our heart, mind and soul. The images we create of our appearances fade, but who we create on the inside shapes us for the rest of our lives.

I bet a lot of you went to camp, retreats or conferences this summer with your youth group. I am also guessing that during these experiences you encountered Christ in a new, exciting and personal way. When we encounter Christ for the first time or in a new way, it is called conversion. The thing about conversion is that we are constantly being converted closer and closer to Christ until we are with him in heaven.

What next?

When we encounter Jesus we walk away changed. It can be hard to figure out how to live out your relationship with Christ in your daily life, especially at school. I mentioned my friend who always felt the need to “recreate” her image in order to fit in with her peers. Maybe you face that temptation as well. Or maybe after your experience with Christ this summer you realized that there are areas in your life that you needed to recreate in order to live a life that is pleasing to Christ.

Wherever you find yourself, I have a challenge for you. Make this school year about giving yourself completely to Christ in order to have Him create your image. See, one of the goals in our walk with Christ is to become like Him. We don’t have to put on an “image” we just have to put on Christ, (Galatians 3:27, Romans 13:14) because He shows us who we really are.

It can be heard to live out the faith you experienced over the summer. Here are a few things to remember as you try to “put on Christ” and live out the faith you experienced this summer.

1. Jesus is present in the silence.

Retreats, conferences, and camps are awesome because everyone is on fire for their faith, there is great music and dynamic speakers. It is important to remember, sometimes we experience Jesus the most in the silence of our hearts and the simple tasks of our days, yes – even in our homework. Ask Jesus to be with you in those moments.

2. Jesus is present in the Eucharist.

Perhaps you had an amazing moment with Jesus this summer at Mass or Adoration. Here is what’s awesome; those experiences are not just one time events! Jesus is present everyday at Mass. I encourage you to go to Mass as often as possible. Many churches have Adoration chapels, it may be silent, but it is the same Jesus in Adoration that you experienced this summer!

3. Seek out Community.

One of the best ways to make sure your faith is sustained in the school year to find friends who share your faith. This is great because they can hold you accountable in your walk with faith. With friendships like these you won’t feel pressure to put on a certain image, because you share Christ in common.

4. Don’t give up.

It can be hard to live out your faith during the school year, especially after an amazing summer. Jesus knows you aren’t perfect, He sees and blesses your effort. Everyone faces difficulties in practicing their faith, don’t give up even if it gets hard! You are never alone, the saints in heaven are praying for you and remember, you have God who loves and cares for you!

Here’s to Excellence: A Back to School Challenge:

Posted on by Rachel Allen

All righty, kids . . . it’s about that time. Whether you like it or not, it’s time to head back to school.

Oh, don’t act so surprised. You knew it was coming. This is much less shocking than Beyonce’s new haircut.

Maybe I’m making some unfair assumptions, actually. Maybe you’re ready to head back. I know I was at the end of every summer. Don’t get me wrong – sleeping until 1pm every day is awesome, but there was always a part of me that would get pretty bored during the summer. Those were B.N.E. days – “Before the Netflix Era,” you guys.

I liked seeing my friends every day at school, and loved all the extras – like sports, clubs, dances, etc. Plus, school itself always came pretty easy to me – although some classes definitely required more work than others (boo, chemistry). But let’s be serious: most of the time, I didn’t have to actually do all the work to get the grade.

Challenge Extended

I was hanging out with my best friend Claire at the beginning of a new semester, talking about getting back into the routine. She had been out to lunch recently with our friend Chris, and the two of them had been talking about virtue and what it means to be excellent (she’s a nun, now, and he’s a priest . . . go figure). They both wanted to not just do their best, in school and otherwise, but truly be their best.

They talked about how easy it was to skate by without doing all the work. It was certainly possible to make decent, even good grades without doing all the required reading. But if they wanted to really be excellent – to get the most out of their classes and really be their best selves – then that would mean doing all the work. Reading every single word that each teacher assigned. All semester.

Claire looked me right in the eye and said, “So, we made a pact to actually do all of our reading, and then we shook on it.” . . . and then she held her hand out to me to extend the challenge to me as well.

I remember cringing, and holding my hand out, then pulling it back, then holding it out again and shaking hers timidly. What had I just gotten in to?! Who had the time to do all that work? Who would actually want to do all that work when you didn’t have to?

But . . . I had shaken her hand. I was in.

Challenge Accepted

That semester was incredibly tough – it turns out, there’s a lot to learn in a semester. And it takes a lot of time to do all the reading, especially with all my other homework, and clubs, and my after-school job, and, oh right, a social life.

But I made a commitment to my friends, so I busted my butt. I did all the reading. Every single word. Not all on time, necessarily, but it did all get done.

Claire and Chris kept me accountable. We would check-in regularly to hear about what the others were learning and to complain about how rough it was. And when I was tempted to skip an assignment or skim through a chapter, I thought of them. I cursed myself for shaking Claire’s hand, and then I got on with it. They weren’t letting me down, so I didn’t want to let them down, either. Excellence or bust.

I’m not telling you this story because it was the best semester of my life, or because I managed to keep up that work ethic for the rest of my school years, or because I remember every word that I read. I’m telling you this story because that semester, I wanted to be my best – and I still do. I want to be virtuous. I want to be excellent. And I want you to be, too.

Imagine that I’m sitting across the table from you, right now, telling you this story about the time my best friend wanted the best out of me. She challenged me to be excellent, and then held out her hand.

Now, imagine that my hand is held out to you.

“Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize? Run so as to win.” (1 Corinthians 9:24)

Have a truly excellent semester.

Hello Spring Break . . . Goodbye Dignity?:

Posted on by Rachel Allen

Welcome, my friends, to that wonderful time of year when you get to take a deep breath, get away from school and all of its homework/papers/midterms/stresses etc., go somewhere beachy . . . and totally forget who you are?

Anyone can see that losing all sense of self is the #1 objective of an MTV-style Spring Break (beaches, booze, and babes, amiright?). I know that isn't how everyone is spending their highly-anticipated week of freedom, but let's be honest: the current state of the union looks something like that for so many high school and college students.

Fake Freedom

Life is stressful, right? Between school and work and relationships, it can be exhausting, and Spring Break is the perfect way to blow off some steam and finally relax. And over the next few weeks, countless teens and young adults will make very, very poor decisions … some that they won't remember, and some they won't be able to forget, because they'll regret them for the rest of their lives … all in the name of freedom.

Real freedom is doing whatever you want to do, whenever you want to do it, right? Say that within earshot of Ke$ha's songwriting team and odds are good that we'll hear it on the radio next week . . .

But I'd guess that most of us are smart enough to look at life and realize that a crappy definition of freedom like that won't lead us to freedom at all. Either we've lived it, and felt the emptiness, or seen others live it, and witnessed the loss.

It's a Biblical truth that sin is fun – for a hot minute (Hebrews 11:25) … and it's just as true that sin leads to death (Romans 6:23). The fun part loses a bit of its appeal when we realize how much it truly costs us, spiritually, emotionally, and physically.

The primary definition of sin is acting contrary to the reason that God gave us (CCC 1849, 1872). We were all given brains for a reason, and when we choose to compromise our reason … through alcohol, drugs, lust, loneliness, whatever … we make ourselves (and others) miserable.

bring your brain

I'm not saying ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏdon't go to the beach … get your butt to the chapel!' Go to the beach, if you can! I would, because I live in Missouri. But when you do go to the beach (or to the mountains, or to your couch, or to the chapel), just make sure you go with your head on straight. Don't leave your mind at home.

I've always liked Spring Break, especially in college, because I always did what I could to make them memorable. My sophomore year of college, I drove from St. Louis to Philadelphia (in a day . . . yowza) with three girlfriends because there were a few empty couches there with our names on them. We wanted to run up the library steps as we belted out the Rocky theme song … so we did.

The next year, I went to Egypt. I was studying abroad in London and met up with some friends in Madrid, then joined them for a Spanish-speaking tour group that took us from Luxor to Cairo to Alexandria and back (side note: I took four years of French in high school, so that was . . . interesting). And my senior year . . . I didn't do anything. I stayed home, I watched movies, I caught up with friends who were in town, and I slept. And it was glorious.

Enjoy your Spring Break … really enjoy it, don't let it pass in a blur. Spring Break is a gift from God that exists to make you happy. So use your reason to let it do just that … be truly happy. And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through Him (Colossians 3:17).

Popularity is Overrated: And Other Advice for the High School Me:

Posted on by Eric Porteous

I graduated high school 15 years ago. Okay. Hold on a second. I never realized how old that made me sound until I actually wrote that sentence down.

Dang.

Where did the time go?

Well, a lot has happened in those 15 years, and as I prepare to turn the ripe old age of 33 (my Jesus year), I've been reflecting on a lot of hard lessons I've learned along the way. If only there had been older adults giving me advice during my high school years, perhaps I could have been saved from a lot of heartache and bad decisions.

But, since I didn't listen to my parents, I made a New Year's Resolution to develop a time machine, crank it up to 88 mph, and have a little chat with myself.

If this were actually possible, here are 22 things I would tell the high school me:

  1. Popularity means nothing once you graduate. Focus on growing as a person.
  2. Sit down with your parents to learn what bills really look like.
  3. Your metabolism will slow down. Develop good nutrition habits now.
  4. MTV will stop playing music, yet somehow remain on the air.
  5. You won't see most of your friends after you graduate. Invest more time in your faith and your family.
  6. You're better off with a reliable used car than taking a loan on a new car that will take 5 years to pay off.
  7. You may be shy, but you NEED to network.
  8. Learn how to cook some basic meals.
  9. When you're in your 30s, there will already be a remake of 'Boy Meets World.'
  10. Eating out all the time kills your bank account and expands your waistband.
  11. There's no extra credit in the real world. Work hard everyday.
  12. Ask that girl out. If she rejects you, your life will still move on.
  13. If you think gas is expensive now, just wait.
  14. Your parents are smarter and A LOT more stressed than you.
  15. You may not like youth group right now, but you will be a youth minister one day. God has a great sense of humor.
  16. Don't make fun of your dad when he falls asleep at 9 p.m. after a long day at work. One day you're going to do the same.
  17. I know it feels scary, but go to Confession regularly.
  18. I know you hate running, but one day, you will run a marathon. Crazy huh?
  19. Stop using bad language. It's a hard habit to break.
  20. It's okay to play video games, but find another hobby too. Your wife will appreciate it.
  21. You can learn more about yourself in 10 minutes of silence than you can from just about anything else.
  22. Perfection is impossible in this life. Focus on improving instead.

High school can be hard. Sometimes you may think you have everything figured out. I know I did. Honestly, most of the time, I still think that way. But, it's not a bad idea every now and then to heed the advice of someone who's older and been there. I wish I had, and if I did, perhaps this list would've been a little smaller.

Teens: What are some things you wish you could learn more about as you grow into an adult? (Comment on our Facebook)

Adults: What are some things you would tell the high school you? (Comment on our Facebook)

I Was Bullied.:

Posted on by Paul and Anna Albert

Has God ever revealed to you something and for some reason you think you know more than He does, so you say, 'Nope, sorry God. You're wrong.' Well, for the longest time that was my situation.

What was God revealing?

God was trying to tell me that I needed healing! Healing from what? I needed healing from the pain, wounds, humiliation, and anxiety I suffered from over six years of being bullied as a teenager. The Lord revealed to me that this is a reality and unless I allow Him to fix it, I would not be able to move forward.

How did he reveal it?

So when the Lord is trying to tell you something He may take several steps if you don't listen the first time. He might tell you over and over again until you get it (well I didn't) or He may send someone else to tell you (well I didn't listen). It took an eight-day silent retreat for me to really listen!

On this retreat, I dove deep into Scripture, attended daily Mass, had opportunities for the Sacrament of Reconciliation, and was invited into an intense rhythm of prayer (try five hours of Adoration in one day). That’s what God had to do in order to get through to me.

After being fully opened by God's grace, the Lord then brought me to a pile of emotional mush. I spent an hour and a half crying my eyes out until I had no other option but to scream, 'Help!' It was there in that moment that the Lord came and held me in His arms, loved me, and said 'Your faith has saved you. You are healed my child.'

What does this mean?

It means that when God speaks – listen!

But also, bullying or being bullied is not funny; it’s a big deal. If you're reading this and you're the bully, in the name of Jesus Christ, who loves you and the other person, stop! If you're the one being bullied, ask for help. First, ask God and then to go an adult you trust (parent, teacher, youth minister, etc.).

I know the wounds can be deep; trust me, I've been there.

I spent six years of my life terrified to walk into school. I spent six years trying to figure out what to wear, how to act, what to do in order for the bullying to stop. I started hanging out with the 'cool kids,' but it only got worse, so I joined the sport teams and clubs, and that didn't help, so I decided to just give up.

Giving up was the worse decision I could have made. By giving up, I allowed myself to continue to be hurt, both physically and emotionally. And by giving up, I did not leave room for God to help me. I wasn't doing anything to cause the bullying, but I wasn't calling on God for help.

Invite God into your pain.

I wish I knew then what I know now. God wants to help you, He wants to heal you from any pain or suffering. First, ask for His help and invite Him into the situation. Pray, invite him into your pain, and ask Him for healing.ÌâåÊ Also, you should pray for the other person as well; God knows they need His help just as much. Plus, He did say, “love your enemies, and pray for those who persecute you' (Matthew 5:44).

-Paul Albert

Don’t Look Back:

Posted on by Ben Lesnefsky

Editor’s Note: It’s time for a guest post! This one is from Ben Lesnefsky, a youth minister from Pennsylvania. Since he’s already married with three kids, he clearly fits the “wise old man” category and he has some great advice for you as you head back to school.

I remember the feeling . . . going back to school after an awesome summer where I grew closer to God than ever before.

After I had a big conversion experience in the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I was really anxious to go back to school, back to 'normal' life. I didn't want to lose that 'Jesus high.' I didn't have friends that understood how I was feeling, or friends that would support me.

But I didn't care. I wasn't going to change back to my old self because I could not turn my back on what I knew was real – that God was deeply in love with me and that I had to love him back.

So here is my advice to you . . . be radical! Don't go back to your old ways. It's a sad trend that we go on these awesome retreats, have this amazing experience of God's power, fall deeply in love with Him, but then leave it all behind when we toss our flip flops to the back of the closet.

What if after St. Paul had his conversion experience with God, he went back to his old ways of killing Christians? That would be weird (and tragic). Then why do we think that we can return to our old ways? You don't have to sell yourself short. Be different.

I'm not saying it's going to be easy. Actually, I'm pretty sure it's going to be tough but as Christians we're called to pick up our crosses and carry them.

'I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me' (Galatians 2:19-20).

That year after my conversion when I went back to school, I set my eyes on Christ and didn't look back. People definitely noticed. They were asking why I wasn't going to the parties, and why I wasn't goofing off so much in class and making fun of my classmates. I told them the truth, I told them about God's amazing love. Some thought it was cool that I was trying to live out what I felt was true and some thought I was dumb.

A lot of my friends tried hard to drag me back down. I knew I couldn't give in. I had to do something big. Half way through my junior year I switched schools. I left all of my friends who I was with since 2nd grade. It was hard but it would have been harder to turn my back on God and give in to the peer pressure of my friends.

I'm not asking you to go switch schools, but I am telling you is this: If you want to stay close to God this year, be different . . . be radical . . . and be not afraid.

Get more involved in your parish; get more involved in your youth group. Hang out with only people from your youth group who have the same values as you. Make sure you are praying daily. Have a set prayer time. Do not miss Mass! Love the Lord with all your heart, soul and mind. And do everything for the greater glory of God.

We are praying for you and your new school year. God Bless you.

To Party or Not to Party: The "Good Influence" Argument:

Posted on by Mark Hart

The previous blog I wrote, 'Thinking about Drinking,' brought with it a lot of feedback. The most common response I received was from high school teens who don't drink but were wondering if it was wrong for them to go to parties where there is drinking.

This is an old debate – so old that I even had it with my own youth minister back when the only dribbling LeBron James was doing was from his mouth . . . in his crib.

Some say if you're at the party and you don't drink, you can be a good example to people who need it. Others say that if you go at all, you're basically approving of what's going on there because of your very presence at the party.

You can argue either point all day long; both arguments are valid and need to be prayerfully considered. On one hand, yes, people at parties need Jesus, too. On the other hand, yes, going does condone on some level what is happening there. Presence nonverbally communicates a variety of things to different people.

So, the fundamental question is, 'What am I going to accomplish by going or by not going?'

Yes, maybe by going and not drinking you'll be a good example, but that isn't enough of a reason to go. There's no guarantee that people there will know you're not drinking – they might be too drunk. They might assume you drink but lost the flip of the coin and are the designated driver. They might think you're okay with underage consumption but signed a contract with your coach not to drink, or made a pact with someone else not to do it. Standing there with a bottle of water in your hand might communicate one thing in your mind but it doesn't necessarily say it to the room.

The next question becomes whether or not you need to be there at the party to be a much-needed example. There are plenty of other places, times, and opportunities to point thirsty souls to the living water of Christ (John 7:37).

Too often, going to a party with the intention of 'being an example' is a justification people use to avoid standing out or standing up for their faith. They want to do the right thing but not to suffer socially for it.

Not going to the party makes a much bolder statement. It doesn't mean you're judgmental. It doesn't mean you're anti-fun or anti-friend. It means you're pro-God. You might think people won't notice or won't care, but you're wrong. No, the entire school might not take notice but some people will. Your courageous example to step away might be exactly what others need to see to do the same. There are others who, if given another option, would rather not be at the party.

If you're willing to stand and lead you might spend some weekend nights alone, yes, but your soul will be at peace. Your confidence and your esteem will grow because you know who you are and what you stand for. In reaffirming Who you live for your faith life will grow too. That's attractive and contagious. Others will want what you seem to have. You'll be amazed how many people (who might lack the courage) would be willing to blow off parties to do something a little more creative and a whole lot more fun.

It just takes a leader. It takes someone willing to stand up and be counted even if it means mockery or social suffering. Saints didn't set out to have huge followings. Saints set out to follow Jesus, and others followed them in their pursuit of Him.

Thinking About Drinking?: The Bible, Alcohol, and You:

Posted on by Mark Hart

I talk to teenagers just about every day, and the conversations are often the same. They deal with the Bible and what the Church teaches and how challenging it can be to live a holy life in an unholy culture. I'd say that most teens that I talk to are truly looking for the Lord; some, however, are looking less for the Lord and more for the 'loopholes.'

For instance: 'I heard that the Bible doesn't say drinking alcohol is a sin.'

'Well, no, the Bible does not say that drinking alcohol is a sin,' I respond. I then go on to explain that it does become sinful (very easily), if any of the following happen:

Some young people embrace these truths and accept them with humility as they try to grow in holiness. Others just try to debate, justify, legitimize, or argue their way around them because they don't like the answer. Here's where the disconnect usually happens. Where do you want your energy to go: toward the Lord or towards some desired 'loophole?'

High school students sometimes argue that they are mature enough to drink alcohol before they're 21. 'I can die for my country, but I can't buy a beer,' I often hear uttered by seniors.

The question at hand is not your maturity, necessarily. I know plenty of people who are chronologically legal to drink, but far too immature to be doing so. Maturity is about more than age, but true maturity also encompasses humility, and wisdom. Obedience is an even greater sign of maturity than courage; it takes courage (and humility) to be obedient.

Some teens say there's just nothing fun to do in their town or argue about how stressful their life is and how they just need a drink to relax. If you need alcohol to have fun or to relax – that's a sad statement about your life, your friends, and a probable sign of a far deeper problem like addiction.

Some people just want an excuse … alcohol – to act like an idiot or to be sexually promiscuous without being held too accountable for it. Drunkenness doesn't excuse or justify sins … it adds to the sin and often magnifies them even more. You are not held accountable by God only for what you remember… but for what you do.

Others think that drinking alcohol in some way validates and legitimizes them, or makes them more of an adult. This is just stupid. Your worth comes from Jesus Christ, not from drinking. Your dignity comes from God. And while the Bible does not overtly say that drinking alcohol is sinful, it is very, very clear in warning about the dangers and problems that often come with alcohol.

Our holiness is not measured by what we want but by what God wants for us. Obedience and humility make us holy. An openness to God's grace makes us holy. Allowing that grace to make us more virtuous makes us holy.

The cup that Christ offers us to drink from is not being passed from a keg … it is a cup of sacrifice, a cup of suffering that comes with putting God's will ahead of our own.

For those of you still reading, I'm proud of you. I'm very proud of you, because your heart is open – maybe more open than you realize – and the Lord wants to speak to that openness.

For those who have gotten angry while reading this – I'd invite you to pray about this more in the Lord's presence. Go before the Blessed Sacrament with your arguments and philosophies and see if the Lord is as supportive of them as your friends are.

God wants us to be pure. God wants us to live for Him. God wants us to be examples. God wants us to lead others to holiness, not to sin. St. Paul called this 'the law of love.' It basically meant that we should avoid anything that could cause one of our fellow brothers or sisters in Christ to stumble or fall on their walk toward Him.

So where do you want to spend your energy … seeking the Lord or the loopholes?

10 MORE Fun Things to Do with Your Summer Break:

Posted on by Eric Porteous

I recently wrote a blog called '10 Fun Things to Do with Your Summer Break'. If you didn't read it, shame on you. Some friend you are. Just kidding. If you did, I've got a little bonus for you.

Here are 10 more fun things you can do if you're afraid of getting bored during the dog days of summer.

  1. Miniature Golf Tournament. I have always loved miniature golf. Whoever came up with the concept amazes me. Take golf, one of the hardest games to play, and add windmills, caves, and other obstacles to frustrate the most patient of people. It's amazing. If you want to have a good time this summer, setup your own version of the Masters. Dress up like real golfers, go to your local miniature golf location, and play a round. For a prize, go to your local thrift store and buy an inexpensive green jacket.
  2. Water balloon fight. Who loves water balloons? I do! Seriously though, who doesn't love water balloons? I mean they are balloons filled with water. This one is pretty self-explanatory. Just go to your local store, and buy a pack or two. Fill them up with your hose and head for the local park. Then, have an all-out water balloon fight. Just be sure to pick up the scraps when you're done.
  3. Find a fun job. One of the things you may have to do with your summer is get a job. This is a good way to get used to what it's like to have a boss and be in the work place. But, who says you can't have fun while doing it? Try finding a job doing something you enjoy. I once worked for the local Little League umpiring baseball games for kids, and it was a blast. If you enjoy working with kids, try working at a store like Build-A-Bear or an amusement park. Maybe you could be a lifeguard. There are a lot of possibilities out there; you just have to be willing to do the research to find the right place for you.
  4. Backwards Day. If you really want to transform one of our summer vacation days, have a backwards day. Do everything backwards (as best you can). Have dinner for breakfast, breakfast for lunch, and lunch for dinner. Eat dessert BEFORE each meal. Wear your clothes backwards. Walk backwards. Just don't drive backwards, unless you are absolutely supposed to.
  5. Photo scavenger hunt. Get together with a group of friends and make a list of various locations in your area. The rules are simple. You split into teams and have to take a picture at each location featured. Set a time limit, and whoever does the most in the allotted time wins!
  6. Summer Camp Counselor. Maybe you don't want to get a job this summer, and your parents aren't forcing you to, but you can still do something meaningful with your days. Consider being a summer camp counselor for children. There are a variety of camps that that deal with anything from sports, to music, to arts and crafts. Giving back to the community is something that is so important and helping children is something that you'll always treasure.
  7. Host your own 'Minute to Win It' game show. Have you seen the show 'Minute to Win It'? It's pretty awesome and involves a variety of simple games that you have to try to complete within one minute. Get your friends together; setup a bunch of games, and play. If you really want to make a spectacle of it, do it on your driveway, so all your neighbors can be entertained, and have someone dress up like Guy Fieri.
  8. Invent a new game in the pool. When I was a kid, my brother and I used to invent pool games all the time. I think they were all called 'Shark', but they each had different rules. Anyway, if you're tired of Marco Polo, create some other fun games you can play. Who knows? Maybe you'll come up with your own version of 'Shark', and we'll cross paths one day.
  9. Tailgate tournament. If you've ever been to a college or professional football game, chances are that you've seen a bunch of tailgate games that people play in the parking lot. There's Cornhole, Ladder ball, Bocce Ball, and more. They are all so much fun. Get a few together and have a tournament with your friends. Make the winner a Root Beer Float.
  10. Read a spiritual book. I never loved to read in high school because most of the time, I had to read whatever the teacher assigned. While I was sure to be obedient to my teacher and work hard for good grades, I still wished that I could read something for fun. As I grew older, and reading was no longer assigned, I began to get into some good Catholic and Christian books, which helped me to learn a lot about my faith. If you're looking for something challenging and inspiring, pick up a book by a Catholic or Christian author. You can check out our Life Teen Store for some great options.

We at Life Teen, we hope you all have a great, fun, and holy Summer Break. We hope to see many of you at any of our events with your parish this summer. Above all, please know that you are constantly in your prayers, and we love all of you very much.

10 Fun Things to Do with Your Summer Break:

Posted on by Eric Porteous

One of my favorite things about high school was the last week of school. Sure there were finals, but I knew the school year was about to end, and it was almost time for summer break. Ah . . . summer break. Oh how I would look forward to it. Oh how I would long for it. Oh how I would plan out all the exciting things I was going to do, only to get trapped in a cycle of boredom within a week. You probably know the drill and have been there before. There's nothing to do. It's too hot, and theme parks are too expensive. So, what can you do? Well, if you're not already going to Life Teen Summer Camp, here are 10 fun things you can do with your summer vacation:

  1. Backyard camping. Who doesn't love a good camping trip? Why not take all the travel and preparation out of it and have one in your very own backyard? Grab a tent, some friends (of the same gender), and your sleeping bags, and get ready for a fun night laughing, telling stories, and more. For an added bonus, bring along some graham crackers, marshmallows, and chocolate to make smores.
  2. Chutes and Ladders Tournament. Bring back the memories of your childhood by getting out the old Chutes and Ladders board game from your closet. (You know you still have it.) Find some friends who own it to have multiple games, get a bunch of people together, and setup a tournament bracket. Give the winner a big blue ribbon to wear, and if you don't have the game, try Candy Land.
  3. Volunteer some of your time for that 'Cause' you 'liked' on Facebook. We all have causes that we 'support' on facebook, but supporting something on your page and actively working for them are two different things. Take a look at those causes, and find out how you can volunteer some of that free time you have for them. It will make a world of difference.
  4. Create a short movie or documentary. Nowadays, websites like YouTube are very popular as people create videos that they hope will go viral. Sometimes the videos are great. Other times, not so much. Why not get a group of friends together, write a screenplay and script, and put together a 5 or 10-minute movie? You could work on this in one day, one week, or even a whole month.
  5. Christmas in July. One of my favorite times of year is Christmas: the joy, the gifts, the decorations. I just love it. So, why does it have to be only once a year? Get out your Christmas tree and garland, blast your favorite version of 'Holly Jolly Christmas', and host a Christmas party in July. If you really want to make it fun, organize a white elephant gift exchange, or watch a classic Christmas movie like 'Elf'.
  6. Wiffle Ball Homerun Derby. If you're a baseball fan, you know all about the annual Homerun Derby. (In fact, this year I'm really excited because it's in Phoenix. If anyone has tickets, they want to donate to a man in ministry and diehard baseball fan, I think I may know someone who's interested). Anyway, it's an exciting event, and as a kid, I used to dream of what it would be like to play in my own. But, who says you can't? Go to your local store, get that thin yellow bat and white wiffle ball, and play in your front yard. If you really want to go back to your childhood, pretend to be your favorite player. I'm Ken Griffey, Jr.!
  7. Help with Vacation Bible School. My mom is a Coordinator of Christian Formation at a Catholic parish, and she would love that I put this on the list. Why? Because she is always in need of good teenagers to help out at Vacation Bible School. As teenagers you are role models to many younger kids, and what better way to spend part of your summer than to teach them about the faith. It's a great week, filled with lots of joy, and you'll probably make some new friends too!
  8. Slip ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏN Slide races. Is it possible to not smile while you are around a Slip ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏN Slide? Ok, maybe if you sprained your ankle, but otherwise, this is one of the most joyful things in the world. So, what's better than one Slip ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏN Slide? How about 2 of them, side-by-side, so you can race? For an even bigger smile on your face, grab a pack of Yoo-hoo and some popsicles.
  9. Make a scrapbook. I am not an arts and crafts kind of guy. I can barely draw a stick figure, but I do love reflecting on the many good times I've had in my life. If you're looking for something to do this summer, take some time to go through some old pictures or mementos and make your own scrapbook. It'll be a great thing that you can go back to at any time when you want to remember something special in your life.
  10. Learn something new. Summer vacation is a great opportunity to do something you always wanted to do but didn't have the time. You have about 3 months of free time on your hands; use it to learn something new. Perhaps you could take some cooking classes. (If you're going to be heading off to college soon, this is a good skill to learn; trust me.) Maybe you could take some guitar lessons or learn another instrument. What about learning another language? The opportunities are endless. After all, learning doesn't have to be something we only do at school.

Regardless of how you spend your summer break, be sure to make the most of it. Once you're done with school and in the work force, you're going to miss the 3 months of free time you used to have to do whatever you want. These are just some ideas. Come up with some of your own, and be creative. Your summer vacation will only be boring if you allow it to be.

Broke and Bored?: Fun Things to Do for Less Than $5:

Posted on by Mary Bielski

This week I found myself scavenging for loose change under the seats in my car so I could to afford a long anticipated vanilla double-shot latte. It cost me like $5! When did coffee get so expensive? (Okay, that's another story.)

It seems like everything fun or delicious costs money. You might feel like when money is tight or non-existent the only option on a friday night is to sit and stare at the wall.

But instead you could go on a hunt to capture a chipmunk with friends! Kidding. But my friend just told me that in college he and his friends' were on a mission to capture a live chipmunk, cage it, and then make it domestic. By domestic I mean that my friend was convinced that he could actually train the chipmunk like a pet dog.

So these guys spent the day hurling their bodies around a park trying to capture these little critters. Hilarious . . . and scary! (Do chipmunks have rabies? . . . moving on)

If the chipmunk hunt doesn't appeal to you, here are some more creative and inexpensive ways to fill those empty pockets with fun and excitement this summer:

  1. Have an 80′s movie marathon. Rent as many 80′s movies as you can find and watch them all weekend. You can get them at the library for cheap; well, usually for free. You can explore other decades too. My friends and I propped our feet up one night for black and white movies from the 40's-50's.
  2. Bring back coloring books. That's right. Jesus told us to be like children. So let's gear up. You can buy a few books at the dollar store with some sweet crayons. You and your friends can decorate pages while listening to your favorite iTunes mix.
  3. Make a “how to” youtube video. It could be about anything – make macaroni and cheese, boil an egg, or give instructions to your favorite dance moves (breakdancing, crunking, popping, freestyle, hip hop). Teach me how to dougie! See how random and weird you can make your video. Get creative.
  4. Water Balloon Fight meets Capture the Flag! Balloons + Water + Swimming suits + a bunch of friends = Epic Adventure. Make teams, hide around your neighborhood, and play capture the flag.
  5. Spend the whole night talking in a different language accent. This may sound ridiculous, but it is super funny. Especially if you are horrible at them. My brother laughs at me because my English 'accent' sounds like I am Australian man from India. Apparently he hasn't heard the Austrialan/English/Indian dialect. (*Ahem, ok, let's just pretend that exists)
  6. Rearrange Furniture without telling anyone. Your room and your muscles are in need of a work out. So get the Fung-Sway on and arrange your room or the family room in a new way. Make new shapes, but act like you have no idea what the family is talking about. See if anyone even notices.
  7. Bring a pile of your laundry and play reverse strip poker. Don't get scandalized. This is all about adding clothes and it is super fun. Each time you lose a round add a layer of clothing. By the end you should look like are a big marshmallow of layers. Make sure there’s air conditioning!
  8. Teach yourself how to Knit. Knitting is super cool
  9. Connect to a random relative member. Your cousin who you haven't seen since last Thanksgiving is in need of some LOVE. So pick up the phone, skype, or facetime. I am not talking about that 'odd' uncle you try to avoid. Think of someone you haven't reached out to in years. Surprise them!
  10. Make a bucket list with list with a friend. We all have things we want to do or accomplish in our life: Go Skydiving. See the Grand Canyon, Marry a really holy (and attractive) Catholic man . . . Oh wait. That my list. Whatever your dream items are, take some time to write them down and start accomplishing them!

The point is that a lack of funds shouldn't keep you. With child-like attitude and a sense of adventure make some memories that you will remember without going into more debt before college.

And maybe if you spend less money on entertaining yourself, you can afford that cup of coffee for the road.

How to Stay Balanced During Finals:

Posted on by Dom Quaglia

Do you ever have days so jam-packed that you feel like you hardly have time to stop and breath? The alarm clock goes off; you shoot out of bed, inhale a pop-tart, peel out of the neighborhood, and make record time to school just to lunge into your seat as the bell is ringing. And the day is only just beginning.

When life gets crazy, it can be difficult to prioritize. During finals, this is especially true. After a while of this, it's easy to get exhausted and start to believe you don't have what it takes to succeed. And then being healthy and feeling whole on top of all that is pretty challenging in the midst of a crazy schedule.

How are you going to manage everything? How do you remain healthy, whole, and holy during this crazy time?

Don't: Stop Praying

Maintaining a good rhythm of prayer is key. Daily mass, rosary, liturgy of the hours … however you pray, keep at it! We can't sacrifice our dialogue and communication with our Heavenly Father. It's our very breath as Christians.

Breathing doesn't become less important as our physical tasks get more difficult; it becomes more important. It's the same with prayer. It will most likely seem impossible to find time for a lot of prayer during finals week. I urge you to make it work.

It doesn't have to be a rosary before each class. (That might literally be impossible.) But you're never too busy to stop and ask for God's blessing and worship Him for His goodness. He loves you no matter what grade you get. It can be simple. St. Therese said, 'For me, prayer is a surge of the heart; a simple glance turned towards Heaven.'

Do: Rest and Be Real

Getting to bed on time, being responsible during the day, studying hard, and being honest will do wonders for you. If you fail on the first three, being honest will be much harder to do.

Cheating is very popular these days and we've all been tempted to do it. In the past, I've rationalized cheating in school. I failed to prepare properly and was 'forced' to cheat. It's easy to brush it off and convince ourselves there's nothing wrong with it.

Ultimately, cheating is dishonest. It's claiming to know the answers you actually don't and you could get in a lot of trouble. And you don't feel good or accomplished after cheating … two signs that you shouldn't be doing it.

You Don't Have to Be Perfect

Staying whole, holy, and healthy in the midst of your final exams won't be easy. It will seem overwhelming. Sometimes wholeness challenges me because it seems to require so much. It's like spiritual multi-tasking. The truth is, wholeness is much simpler than that. Wholeness isn't about doing everything perfectly; it's about doing everything you do for the Perfect one. To be whole is to have God at the center of your life.

Our work will be more fruitful if we put Christ first. Our hearts will be more whole if we put Christ first.

Remember Matthew 6:33. Seek God and seek the good that will build His kingdom. The rest will fall into place. Remember you are the beloved. Be loved.

What Memories Will You Make at Prom and Graduation?:

Posted on by Alison Griswold

The next few weeks hold some of the most quintessential social events of high school: proms, graduations, and the last days with your friends from high school. Built up as the pinnacle of the year, they say these are the days you'll remember forever and the make-or-break moment of high school. Stepping back, it's a lot of pressure crammed into a few weeks.

At eighth grade sleepovers, in between freezing underwear and playing 'truth or dare,' we'd steal prom magazines from the bedrooms of our older sisters and imagine what high school would be like.

We predicted that the boys would be tall, dark and handsome ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù ready to sweep us off our feet (instead of shorter than us, and trying to snap our bra straps like they did every day in middle school) and we would be thin, tan and glamorous in dresses imported from Paris (or at least bought new and not a hand-me-down). We would finally be adults and we'd remember it forever.

While it hasn't been forever (more like a decade) I'm surprised by the memories that remain. High school held lots of choices and the consequences ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù for better or worse ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù remained long after the rental tuxes were returned and diplomas were framed. These are a few memories I've kept:

  • What I remember: the moment we included someone who had been left out.

    When I look through the boxes of pictures I have from high school, I can't remember the names of the girls that I desperately hoped would like me. I do remember Lauren, however. She stands a bit apart from the group in many snapshots, looking uncomfortable.

    One night we were all out for ice cream and when Lauren looked uncertain about where to sit, I gestured to the seat next to me and included her in the conversation.

    You know the Laurens in your school. Make the choice to make them welcome.

  • What I remember: the friends who encouraged and respected me.

    How do you decide who your friends are? Scripture holds a lot of wisdom about friendship. A great meditation on how to be a blessing and be blessed by those in your company is Sirach 6.The author advises, 'Faithful friends are a sturdy shelter, whoever finds one finds a treasure' (Sirach 6:14).

    A faithful friend wants what is best for you, what will ensure your safety and your health. A faithful friend encourages the truth in your relationship and your relationships with others (including your parents). Good friends reveal God. They are the ones you will keep.

    Make the choice to be a friend who reveals God, even if it means having fewer friends.

  • What I remember: fun days, fun nights and mornings with no regrets.

    'Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God?'

    You have probably heard this exhortation from St. Paul, to the Corinthians many times, in relation to the choices you make. Often left un-read is the second half of 1 Corinthians 6:19, 'you are not your own.'

    In choosing what you do to commemorate these final days of school, whether after graduation, prom or band practice, at the forefront of our mind and hearts should be this reality that all is a gift from God, to be used for His glory. This doesn't require walking around yelling, 'hallelujah,' but it demands that our actions be a reflection of who we belong to. We are not our own.

    Make the decision, now, to walk away from any situation that includes drugs, alcohol or sexual temptation.

I thought the memories I'd take from high school would be of glamorous outfits, pretty people, and epic parties. My memories are of moments that I chose to do what was right, even when it wasn't easy or popular. These choices ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù and their consequences ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù are what will stay with you from these last days of high school and form you into the adult you're becoming.

Cheaters Never Win:

Posted on by Chris Carmody

If you asked me what I got in my high school Chemistry class, I would tell you, 'An A and two C's!' Why? Not because I took the class three times, but because I got the A and my two friends, who I let cheat off my homework and tests, got the two C's! Unfortunately, when I was in high school, even though the teachers told us not to cheat, it wasn't a big deal. I didn't understand how my choices in school affected my relationship with Jesus.

That is what's so dangerous about cheating … it doesn't seem like a problem!

Let’s first clarify that cheating is wrong. Let me point out why that is. Can you guess where in the Catechism and the YOUCAT we find cheating? Would you believe it’s under the Seventh Commandment? That’s the one that says, “Thou shalt not steal.” That's right, cheating falls under stealing! Let me say that again – cheating is stealing!

So what exactly does the YOUCAT say? Question 429 is talking about intellectual property, which is everything we learn in school.

Q. 429 … What rules apply to intellectual property?

The misappropriation of intellectual property is theft also. Not just plagiarism is theft. The theft of intellectual property begins with copying other student's work in school … and extends to business dealings in stolen concepts and ideas.

When I was a student I never understood that a “simple” thing like letting my friends copy my homework or answers from my test was wrong, and I definitely didn't see it as stealing. It’s funny because since my cheating days, I’ve become a high school teacher. So now I see things from the other side of the room. I see how important the “simple” act of learning something is, and how much work it takes me as a teacher to get my students to learn those important things.

So, one more time … why shouldn't you copy off your friends homework right before class is starting? Let's look again at the Seventh Commandment and what is says about work and why stealing is wrong. CCC 2427 is this awesome paragraph about how important and amazing human work is:

'Human work proceeds directly from persons created in the image of God ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ_Work honors the Creator's gifts and the talents received from him. It can also be redemptive … Man shows himself to be a disciple of Christ by carrying the cross, daily, in the work he is called to accomplish.'

This is saying that all of your work, even your homework, is part of your participation in Christ … His life, and especially His death. Each time that I let my friends copy from my paper I was making it so that they didn't have to work. So while they had something to give the teacher, they had nothing to give Jesus.

So, the questions for you is – what's more important, just making sure that you have something to hand into the teacher or actually working so as to have the knowledge and something to offer back to Jesus?

If you need help answering that question, take a look at what God does for you … John 3:16-21, Romans 8:14-17, Hebrews 4:14-16.

Four Ways to Make Prom Awesome:

Posted on by Greg Iwinski

As a homeschooler, my prom experience wasn't exactly the kind of thing you see in the movies. Instead of a giant museum hall filled with balloons, streamers, and an amazing DJ, I had a boombox and some microwave taquitos.

Okay, that might be an overstatement. Honestly, I didn't go to prom … which makes it weird that I'd be writing about it for all of you guys getting ready for it. So to fill in my gaps in prom knowledge, I asked around the Life Teen staff to come up with some tips for making the big dance a night to remember.

  1. Don't fear parents.

    You're almost at the end of high school, almost through the gateway of becoming an independent adult. It can seem like prom is the perfect time to cast off your parents and ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâèÏbe your own person,' but you can actually have a great time getting them involved. You might not want your dad to be the DJ, but having dinner at someone's parents' house can save you money and build trust between you and them. If your parents are willing to help out or get involved, don't be too quick to shrug it off.

    And guys … every dude older than you remembers that super-awkward moment when they had to wait for their date to finish getting ready. You. Parents. Living room. Awkward. Here's how to burst that uncomfortable bubble: take initiative and be yourself. If you're trying to live out your faith, there's nothing you need to hide from them (and nothing that'll make your date's dad have to show you his gun collection). Be respectful, stay relaxed, and give them as much info as you can. Remember … parents love knowing what's going on.

  2. The more, the merrier.

    A good date is important … if having a good time is your goal, make sure that you're going with someone you actually get along with. Status is no reason to put up with a date that doesn't actually want to hang out with you. There's nothing wrong with taking a good friend to prom, and if you're going to actually make it a date date it probably shouldn't be the first one. That's just putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on both of you.

    Whether you have a date or not, going to prom in a group is always a good plan. It makes sure you have people to talk to and hang out with, cuts down the cost of transportation and dinner, and lets you create your own dance-within-a-dance if things get sketchy on the dance floor.

  3. Take a breath.

    Prom is a fun, once (or twice) a lifetime kind of thing … but it's not going to be the most important night of your life. It takes a lot of prep work (and money), but ladies, it's not your wedding. When push comes to shove, you're going to a dance with your friends. The more you relax and focus on having a good time, the less pressure you'll put on yourself (and your date) to make it into something out of a Nicholas Sparks book.

  4. Stay true to who you are.

    There are a lot of people trying to sell you an idea of prom. Maybe it's that independent streak that kept me wearing punk rock jackets and Chuck Taylors in high school, but I think you need to be yourself. If that means picking a weird suit or dress, getting hamburgers for dinner, or even spending some time in the Chapel before or afterwards.

    Most of all, stay Catholic. Live out your values and have a good time. Hooking up or getting drunk aren't going to leave you with anything other than regrets and bad memories the next morning. Like I said before, if you're living for God, those shouldn't be in your plans anyway.

Oh, and one last thing. If your date's wearing white, don't order the spaghetti with red sauce. Trust me.