What is beauty? And why don’t I ever feel like I have it? Why am I never good enough? How do I stop the relentless, attacking voice in my head telling me I’ll never be pretty?

This is the sound of the conversation I’ve had way too many times recently.

How many girls feel this way? The trap of comparison, jealousy, and self-hate is a pit that is hard to climb out of. I’m not immune to it either. I will be the first to raise my hand and say I know how real this struggle is.

It got me to wonder… What do guys really think is beautiful? And not the worldly, shallow guys but the ones that are my brothers in Christ. What do they see as beautiful? I had a hunch that hearing their thoughts might help to counteract the destructive inner dialogue that girls struggle with. Not because our goal as women is to be beautiful to men. No. It’s about hearing from our male counterparts how often they see our beauty as Christ sees us, not as the world sees us.

I was so moved by the responses of these Catholic men. I hope you are too… because you are beautiful.

You Are Beautiful When…

“You are beautiful when you dance like nobody’s watching, tell corny jokes, and share your heart without fear.” – Ryan O.

“You’re beautiful when you’re victorious in being confident with your second day hair.” – Gabe T.

“You are beautiful when you stand up for the dignity of others and recognize the tremendous dignity and self-worth you have within yourself.” -Joel S.

“You are beautiful when you wear your hoodie and baggy sweats because you prefer comfort over compliments.” – Mark B

“You are beautiful when you laugh so hard you snort a little… when you put your whole heart into something you are passionate about… and when you are confident about the talents that God has given you.” – Jon G.

“You are beautiful when you worship with hands high. You are beautiful when you dance and joke around.” – Diego D

“You are beautiful when you’re absorbed in prayer. God’s face shines on yours.” – Jason E.

“I find women who are confident beautiful. Women who look you in the eye as they talk with you. Women who are self-aware. Aware of their imperfections and aware of what they’re good at. I am attracted by physical beauty. When a woman takes pride in her appearance, when she wears clothes that compliment her size and shape. When she’s not scatter brained or jittery but calm. Calm women are beautiful women. Women who don’t just hear you but listen to you are beautiful. Caring women are beautiful women. Beautiful women are women whose universe is bigger than themselves. They are interested in things around them. In virtue. In me. In good literature. Women whose universes are no bigger than themselves get boring very quickly.” – Matt F.

“You are beautiful when you smile, please do it more. ” – Felix C.

“You are beautiful when you refuse to gossip.” – Stephen L.

“You are beautiful when you’re still patient after a hard day at work… when you’re lounging in your pajamas, when your hair is all messed up from serving those in need, when you’re out of breathe from playing with your nieces and nephews, when you literally cannot stop giggling, when you are completely and utterly yourself and when I see you deep in prayer in the midst of a hustling and bustling world.” – Jurell S.

“You were beautiful on the day we met, breath-taking on the day you became my wife, and stunning every day when I come home and you’re there to greet me.” – Perry R.

“You are beautiful when you spend time adoring the beauty of God… when you are joyful, peaceful, grateful. You are beautiful just because God made you!” – Jordi M.

“You are beautiful when you wear your faith on your shoulder.” – Ian G.

“You are beautiful when you serve the poor.” – Nicholas

“You are beautiful when you strive for God’s will… when you smile, when you pray before the Blessed Sacrament.” – Daniel G.

Photo by Caleb Morris, Caleb-Morris.com