It was a Saturday when the Sacrament of Confession fell into my convenience. I had this set idea of what this confession was going to be like: quick and concise — per usual of my Confession tendencies. I was going to tell him short phrases, and the priest was going to tell me to pray three Hail Mary’s. I would be forgiven and go on with my life. I had treated Confession like paying a parking ticket or some kind of contract with God. “Yeah I messed up badly, let me pay my fines to get it over with.” But God had different plans. He wanted to challenge me. He wanted to slow me down. My Creator wanted to tell me how much He liked me.

“Forgive me Father…”

I started to regretfully list off sins. I said cut and dry phrases like,

“Forgive me for being selfish. For being stubborn. For being impatient… etc.”

I should have been more thoughtful but I was uncomfortable and filled with shame. (Here’s tips on how to give a good confession.) I didn’t know the priest, and he didn’t know me, nor could he see me. That fact isn’t important because it was God speaking to me, for the words that were going to come out of his mouth was going to pierce directly into my heart. His words were so personal to me that he could have said my name.

As I finished confessing my sins. He sighed. He took a brief pause and said,

“I get the feeling you’re a little hard on yourself.”

Hard on myself? Wait, what? I started to get a little frustrated. No father, you don’t understand. Do you need me to give you examples? Did you see how I treated that homeless person the other day? How about my sister? No father, be harder on me. They’re so many things wrong with me.

He paused and started speaking soft and slow,

“You’re not any of those things. You are not selfish. You are not stubborn. You are not impatient. You may do those things. You may sometimes act selfishly, you may choose to act impatiently, but that’s not your identity. You are a child of God. That’s your identity.”

He was challenging me. My rising frustration started to slow down as I began to understand. I wanted him to be as disgusted with me as I was with myself. I wanted a punishment, I deserved a punishment, but instead it was mercy that he was giving me.

The priest asked me,

“Do you believe that God loves you?”

“Yes.” That was an easy answer. Obviously, God loves me. Those were words that I heard countless times. They were written words printed boldly on billboards, bumper stickers, and repeated frequently in Sunday school.

“Well, do you believe He likes you?”

I didn’t know what to say. It was the first time I heard that phrase.

He continued speaking softly,

“Think of what a great dad looks like…Yes, he loves his child, but he also likes her a lot. I want you to imagine a father tossing his beloved daughter in the air. Imagine what joy he must feel when he sees her giggle or look him in the eyes. A great father wants to spend as much time as possible with her. He wants to go play or go on a road trip with her. You know, he puts her photo in his wallet. In the same way, God doesn’t just put up with you. He likes you…”

My idea of God’s love was that He loved me just because He was incapable otherwise. But no, He likes me, He delights in me as my good, good Father.

He challenged me further,

“God created you because He likes you. He delights in you and your presence. He loves gazing at you. Think about it. When you find something beautiful, like a sunset or an ocean, it’s because it’s pleasing to you. Your eyes are attracted to it. And does God ever take His eyes off of you? No because we have great beauty to behold. He’s stunningly attracted to you. He truly delights in you as His beloved.”

I had no words. I was speechless. I had tears running down my face from the words that had pierced my heart. The Creator of the universe likes me. He never takes His eyes off of me. He delights in me. I went home that day unable to stop smiling. I danced in my living room. “God, You like me!”

Challenged and Changed

This truth combined with overwhelming mercy changed me. It changed my heart. Before this Confession, I had projected my own self-loathing on how I believed God thought of me. The devil wanted to me wallow in my imperfection, but God wanted to give me mercy, grace, and peace. He lovingly gives me time and time again a fresh start to sin no more.

I came into Confession like the prodigal son who finally came back to Father saying, “I was your child, but I chose to leave. I don’t know why. I let my identity become my sins. I’m so ashamed. Punish me I am no longer worthy to be called Yours.”

But the good Father says to me, “No, no, you have it all wrong. My child, I am all yours. Just come into my arms again and let me love you. I’m so overjoyed that you’re home! For you, I’ll prepare you the best dinner. In fact, let me give you a feast. Come sit down with me. Just talk to me, let me hear that sweet voice of yours. Oh how I missed your presence!”

It took me a while to realize it, but no matter how messed up you may feel, God is madly in love with all of His creation, that means you. He doesn’t see you wrapped up in sins- He sees you, His beloved child. The truth is that not only does He love you, He likes you. So sit down with God. Delight in Him and know that God delights in you. Spend time with the One who enjoys spending time with you too. The Creator of the universe likes you.