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The “Sharing the Faith” Life Teen Blog series features testimonies of core members who find creative ways to live out the Gospel in their unique vocational fields.

This blog is written for a core member audience.

This blog describes the sadness felt by a woman’s decision to have an abortion.

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Life as a pro-life nurse is beautiful. We are given the freedom to see each of our patients’ value and dignity and share in that with them. There are patients who choose life for their baby, resulting in so much joy, but there are some who still choose abortion, leaving everyone with a heavy heart. In each encounter, we are called to reflect Christ regardless of the outcome. Here are some stories that I have encountered over the last few years as a nurse at a pro-life clinic.

“There’s a baby in there!”

Earlier this year, a woman came into our clinic with her three-year-old daughter, undecided about keeping her pregnancy or aborting. She was already a mother overwhelmed with little children and financial struggles. Life was already “too much,” and to add another child was unthinkable. We estimated she was about eight weeks pregnant.

As the peer counselor, I prepared the room for the ultrasound. The patient lay down on the exam bed. Her little girl played with her toys, completely unaware of the reason we were all gathered. As I laid the ultrasound probe down on the belly, the room was flooded with emotions from everyone. We saw about a 15-week-old baby kicking, turning, and waving. There were perfect hands and a face already formed, with ten tiny fingers and a tiny little nose.

The mother burst into tears. There were chills running through everyone’s bodies from relief, shock, and joy. Unfazed by the commotion in the room, the daughter looked up at the screen, ran over to her mother’s belly, and exclaimed, “There’s a baby in there!” With a single ultrasound image, the truth of life permeated the room, even so clearly to the three-year-old daughter. The woman decided to parent, and she and her family are excited to welcome a baby later this year.

I truly wish every patient visit ended this joyfully. Every time a woman chooses abortion, the temptation to lose hope or become burnt out, believing what we do might not matter, becomes real. After about a year of encountering women and watching many choose abortion, my heart became bitter and apathetic, not understanding how I could do my job better to help save more babies or overcome the hurt of seeing a woman choose to end the life of her child.

I spoke to a dear friend of mine full of wisdom. He suggested I be in awe and be grateful to be in the presence of the other human life in the room, the baby, no matter the amount of time they are here on earth. Sometimes, the only thing you can do is acknowledge the creation of God and the privilege that it is to be there to witness it and to meet others where they are at.

Trusting God Despite a Heavy Heart

A young woman about 22 years old came in determined to have an abortion. She was a student and stated that she was not ready for a baby, listing off many other plans she had for her life at the moment. Through the consultation, we learned that she had an IUD, a small device meant to prevent pregnancy. If a woman becomes pregnant with this device in place, it can cause much risk to the baby.

As I did the ultrasound, I captured images of a 6-week-old baby with a heartbeat. I suddenly realized the IUD was in a perfect cross formation underneath Baby. I brought the images out of the exam room to be evaluated by the midwife and other medical staff. One of them exclaimed that the image so clearly looked like Christ on the cross and that He was lifting up the baby. Everyone in the room understood that Christ held the soul of that baby and mother close to His sacred and merciful heart.

The medical staff offered to remove the IUD and the woman agreed. Left inside, the IUD would cause great risk to the baby for infection, or even worse, could perforate the sac, draining the protective fluid around its body. In early pregnancy, though, the IUD can be removed so that the pregnancy can continue, healthy and normal.

Following the IUD removal, I performed another ultrasound which miraculously confirmed that the baby’s heart was still beating, untouched, and saved from harm from the IUD. The medical staff rejoiced and the patient was discharged. During one of our follow-up conversations with the patient, however, she informed us that she had an abortion not long after the IUD removal. My heart was broken after having so much hope for the mother and baby. I thought about the image I had taken with Baby at the top, supported by the symbol of Christ’s triumph over death, trying to understand how such a victorious and life-giving moment could end in abortion.

Each time a woman chooses abortion, there is a sadness felt by everyone for the life lost and the damage done. The sadness that moved my heart was the same sadness that moves Christ’s heart when we sin against Him, who loves us so much. Christ’s response to our sin is loving and sacrificial, full of hope that we will be redeemed by Himself again. I could now understand the hope, love, and mercy I was called to show to the women who have abortions.

I choose to remain in hope that in each new pregnancy, the mother will choose life and the souls of the mother and baby will encounter and be transformed by God; in faith that in the end Christ will always remain victorious; and in love for the woman, extending mercy and forgiveness as Christ did for each of us when He died on the cross.

Psalms 139:16 reads:

“Thy eyes beheld my unformed substance;

in thy book were written, every one of them,

the days that were formed for me,

when as yet there was none of them.”

Our Lord is the God of the past, present, and future and can see all things. He can see us through our whole life, from the start of being knit together in the womb all the way through our last days. Yet for others we encounter, we may only be with them for a moment. In the same way that I had the opportunity to encounter my patients for a brief moment in their lives, so might we encounter a teen in ministry. Some of these moments are joy-filled, showcasing God’s glory, while other times they leave us lost and struggling to understand.

As long as we are able to reflect Christ to those we minister to, we can remain in faith that God’s will prevails, even when we don’t see it down the road. In our hardest moments in ministry when we feel defeated, we can remember that God sees each of us as a gift, with love and mercy, and trust that He remains victorious.