I thought to myself, “I don’t think God exists.” as I walked out of my college classroom.

I had come to this hasty conclusion after a professor had given a long lecture on why God is a myth. This lecture catapulted me into a whirlwind of doubts and confusion. That time in my life was challenging for me.

And I want to tell you some things I learned from it. But first, let me set some things straight, having doubts or questions is not good or bad. It’s normal and human. However, it is one thing to have a doubt and abandon your faith out of pride. But it’s another to humbly pursue your questions and fight for the answers. That’s what the saints did.

If you’re doubting, you might be going through a season of darkness. I did.

What is darkness?

A season of darkness is when we feel almost or completely separated from God. Sometimes this darkness is triggered from a source, like an interesting YouTube video, or sometimes just from a questioning mind. It can last a minute or it could last much, much longer.

St. Therese of Lisieux described darkness as like a dark rain cloud moving over and covering the warm radiant sun — God. We think that the sun or God isn’t there. But the reality is that to us He is just covered by darkness. The reality is that our human, finite mind cannot comprehend an infinite God.

But here’s the hardest part. A season of darkness gives us a spiritual amnesia. We seem to forget all that we know about God.

So what’s the key to to dealing with this season of darkness? It is to remember. Whether you are struggling with God’s goodness, Jesus real presence in the Eucharist, the existence of God all together, or whatever it may be, here are a few things I’ve learned in in this season of life.

Remember, you are not alone

Struggling with doubt can be confusing, exhausting, and sometimes painful. The enemy will try to deceive you into feeling ashamed and alone. Don’t listen to this lie. Be open with this struggle of yours with the strong Catholics (priests, youth ministers, strong family members) in your life. Be in community. Do attend youth groups, Bible studies, be with other Catholic friends.

Also, remember that the most incredible of saints were not exempt from this. For example, St. Therese of Lisieux and Mother Teresa were both in a period of darkness for years where they could not fathom a God, heaven, or that God had loved them. Ask for their intercession.

So you might be asking, how’d the heck did they make it through? They remembered. What did they remember? Glad ya asked. That brings me to my next point.

Remember when you have experienced God

All throughout scripture God is telling his people over and over again to remember all that God has done for them because soon they will forget. The same message applies to us.

Most of us have had times where we vividly felt the sun (God’s presence) radiate on us, as St. Therese of Lisieux said. You know, those times where we deeply knew in our hearts that He is with us. Perhaps it was at a retreat or seeing a sunset, whatever it may be, we must remember these experiences. We must hold on onto these moments.

St. Therese and Mother Teresa, though in great pain, held onto the times their own moments of consolation. The experiences you’ve had are real tangible moments. Remember, remember, remember.

Remember what you know about God

Darkness also clogs up our mind and all the truth we know about God. When I was going through this period, I constantly had to remind myself logically:

There must be a God, how else could have this intricate world come together?

There must be a God, for how else do you explain the shroud of Turin, Miracle of Lanciano, and other archeological proof?

I also called my intelligent friend. A lot of times we get too stuck in our head in moments of darkness. So I asked her to remind me of what she knew.

Remember to fight

When we doubt, it’s very easy to lose motivation and become spiritually lazy. But this time is crucial. The last thing we should be doing is giving up. We have nothing to lose, but everything to gain by fighting.

One, start or continue having an active daily prayer life. This is so key. Pray to God even if you don’t know if He’s there. He is. Set a time each day where you talk to Him and bring to Him your doubts. Write in a journal and examine your day, your heart, and your mind. Frequently seek out the sacraments.

Two, question and seek answers within the guides of the Church. Read Catholic Answers or other Catholic apologetic resources and consult other, wise Catholics in your life. We can’t fully understand God, but we sure can get far when we allow reason to coincide with our faith.

This period of darkness was extremely difficult for me. I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t. But after doing the 4 points above, I had so much more conviction that God is the truth. I even debated my professor later.

But more so, I now can see why God allows darkness. It’s because of the very fact that it shakes us up. We are tested. A faith that is comfortable and always happy, is barely faith at all. This season allowed me to actively choose God as the King of my heart all over again, each day. Even when I didn’t feel like it.

Take heart, if God has allowed a time of darkness in your life it is because He wants to take you higher than you have ever imagined.

The words you need to hear:

“The greatest tragedy in humanity is when we do not wrestle with God, when we become so apathetic that we are but a limp rag doll in the hands of a mighty lover who wishes that we fight back; that we embrace Him and choose to find truth. Christ will seek the ends of the earth for the one sheep that has gone astray. He will fight the darkness to find His beloved, but when He holds us in His arms and we do not show any sign of life, then it is the heart of a King that is broken and all of creation will moan in the loss of another soul that was meant to dance in the courts of Heaven.

Take your doubts to Christ, let this fire grow inside you and become aware that He is wanting a heart that beats and seeks knowledge, He wants a mind that thinks and learns wisdom, and He wants a soul that cries out for help when it seems impossible to find. Because He broke down the gates of hell to rescue His bride, He is coming with a righteous fire in His soul and a joy that will wipe away every tear from your eyes; You just have to be willing and ready.” (T.B. LaBerge)