Author:

Glorify God in Relationships:

Posted on by

Have you ever had a crush on someone? You know, how you just think that everything they do is cute. Most of the time, after a little while these crushes go away, but sometimes it turns into a relationship. That is what I want to talk about.

I started dating someone a month and a half ago. When I was talking to someone about it from our Covecrest community she asked me a question: what is different about this relationship than your previous one? After our first date, I texted her jokingly saying this relationship is different because our first date was confession and dinner, but I knew it was more than that and I really had to think about it.

We, as missionaries, live according to the mission “Rule of Life” based on the Rule of Saint Benedict. Every day during morning prayer, we read a part of that rule to remember what it says. One of the parts of that rule is: Glorify God in Relationships. A sentence in that part that really stuck out to me was: “relationships with one another are to flow out of our love for God and more importantly, His love for us.”

That is why this relationship is different. We try to lead each other closer to God and holiness instead of leading each other closer to ourselves.

I love God so much that I want my boyfriend to have that same love for God. My main goal is to help him get to Heaven. Like it says in 1 Corinthians 8:13, “Therefore, if food causes my brother to sin, I will never eat meat again, so that I may not cause my brother to sin.” Well, of course I am not talking about food, but I want my behavior to lead my boyfriend closer to God and not to sin.

If you’re in a relationship now, a question you might want to ask yourself is, “Am I leading him or her closer to God?” And the other way around, “Is he/she leading me closer to God?” Even if you are not dating, you can also ask yourself these same questions about your friends. Today, remember how much God loves you and allow His love to flow through you into each relationship you have.

Not My Plan But Yours!:

Posted on by

When I applied for Life Teen Missions, I applied for only one year. I knew I had to go back and finish school in six years so that I don’t have to pay back the money I got from the government. Until January, I thought this was God’s plan for me, even though I never prayed about how long God wanted me to be in Life Teen Missions. I was really stubborn in this. After my eight-day silent retreat, I talked to someone, and he told me he thought I really had to stay another year and told me to pray about it. Stubborn as I am, I said, “I don’t think so. I think God wants me to go back to school.”

In an holy hour in January, after this conversation, I was reading through the gospel of Luke. I was not praying about staying another year. At one point in chapter 12 verses 22-24 it says, “Do not worry about your life and what you will eat, or about your body and what you will wear. For life is more than food and the body is more than clothing. Notice the ravens they do not sow or reap; they have neither a store house nor barn, yet God feeds them, how much more important are you than birds!” And I thought,  ”O my God: you are asking me to stay another year, aren’t you?” My first reaction was, “I can’t stay another year. I have to finish school. How am I going to pay the money back and provide for my second year of missions at the same time?”  So I kind of said no.

The next day in morning prayer, the same bible verse came up in the Life Teen Missions rule of life. I laughed and thought it was funny that it came up again, but I also realized that God might have been making a point. So I prayed, “God, if you want me to do a second year, you have to destroy my plan of getting back into school.” I hoped God would not do that, but He did. The next day, I tried to apply on the internet to get back in to school, and every time I tried to log-in, the website kicked me out. After that, I knew for sure that God wanted me to stay another year.

A few weeks later, we had community prayer with the whole community, and while we were praying, someone shared the same Bible verse I heard very often about not worrying. No one knew at this point that I was thinking about staying another year. After a lot more of these random situations, I decided I had to stay another year, and trust the Lord that He will provide money-wise for me to be able to pay back the money for school and also to have enough mission partners for me to stay another year.

Ever since I decided to stay another year, God is still convincing me I made the right decision. I was talking to someone at the Life Teen convention, and he told me to spend some time in Matthew chapter 6. Guess what is said in that chapter? The exact same thing and even more. Matthew 6:30, “If God so clothes the grass of the field, which grows today and is thrown into the oven tomorrow, will he not much more provide for you. O you of little faith?”

I challenge you to give your worries to God today. He is faithful and will provide for all of your needs!

Victim or Victor?:

Posted on by

Happy Easter, or as we would say it in Dutch: Zalig Pasen!

I was in Colorado this Easter and went to mass in a town called Breckenridge. The priest had an awesome homily! He talked about being a victim or a victor in life.

As a victor, you claim your own life. You do what God asks you to do, you choose to be happy during the day. You rose with Christ: you claim victory for everything you have overcome with Christ.

As a victim, all the bad stuff happens to you, people mistreat you, and you let the things that happen during the day control your mood.

Hearing this, I thought, “Shoot, I am acting like I am a victim.” I do think bad stuff happens to me, and yes, my mood changes when someone is not nice to me. I decided that day that I wanted to be a victor. This does not mean that I ignore the not-so-good stuff that has happened in my life. It did happen. But, now I claim the victory that I overcame it, I dealt with it, and God healed me in a lot of ways. I realized that the only one who was suffering from being a victim was me. I decided to try to claim victory for everything God already healed and changed in my life. I decided that nothing was going to “steal” my joy!

As everything you are trying to change, it sometimes is hard, and I failed. My reaction as a victim would have been, “Never mind, this is not going to work,” but now I am choosing to be a victor, and I am saying, “I can do this. I am probably going to fail again, but I am just going to keep trying until it works!” Like I wrote in my other blog, “I win!” I am choosing to win now and be a victor in life, instead of a victim who just lets everything happen.

So now you have a decision to make, are you going to be a victim or a victor? I would like to hear your answer!

God Qualifies the Called:

Posted on by

Do you ever think, “Lord, I cannot do that. Why me? Why not someone else?” I did and still do sometimes. I remember my first excuse for not becoming a missionary: “Lord, I am not good enough. Why do you call me? I am not a good example for teens. I do not know all the prayers. There are so many people better than me.” But, God chose me and not someone else.

Even when you look at the disciples, you see that they were just fisherman. They were not more special than other people. God chose them, and even they failed. They all ran away when Jesus was persecuted, out of fear for their own lives. Look at Peter: he denied Jesus three times. But, Jesus still loved them. He asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” and Peter said yes three times. He forgives all of the disciples, and sends them out to proclaim the good news.

When I got here, I compared myself with all the other missionaries. I did not know how to pray out loud. I did not know all the prayers. I had only given one talk in my life. I thought I was not good enough to be here. I asked God, “Why did you call me? There are a lot of better people out there who can do a better job at this than I do.” I struggled with this for a long time. I did not give talks. I did not lead prayers. I kept myself from doing all kind of things because I thought others could do them better then I could. I was afraid to mess up. This continued until after my eight-day silent retreat. God told me I had to stop thinking all these negative things about myself and let Him take over. So I did…

Half of the missionaries went to Washington D.C. for the March for Life, but before that we went to Baltimore to do an XLT at a parish. We had a meeting about who was going to give the talk, and it was very clear that God wanted me to give the talk. I really did not want to do that, so I did not say anything the first time, but it kept coming up in my prayer, God was very clear that He wanted me to share my story. I finally gave in and said that I felt that I was supposed to give the talk.

I gave the talk, and it was amazing to experience how God worked through that. I was so nervous before the talk. I prayed before the talk that I may say what God wanted me to say, and during the talk I felt a sense of peace falling over me. God definitely worked through me that night because I would not have been able to give a talk myself.

As Saint Therese of Liseux would have said: sometimes God wants you to be a rose, even when it feels better to be a daisy. God challenged me by asking me to do a thing I would never do.If I would have thought about this a year ago, I definitely would not have thought that I would be here giving talks and feeling confident about it. I still don’t necessarily like giving talks, but I learned to let God take over.

God is challenging you, too! How can you be a rose when it feels more comfortable to be a daisy? Or how can you take a step back and be a daisy instead of a rose?

I Win!:

Posted on by

When we came back from Christmas break, we had one day to talk to everyone. After that day we had an eight-day silent retreat. We had to be silent for eight days! I was not looking forward to it! Even though I don’t like sharing, I don’t like being quiet either. I need to talk! How can I be silent for eight days? That was the thought that went through my head before the eight-day. Every day we had an hour of spiritual direction, but that was the only time we could talk. I was so scared to be silent for eight days that I was thinking about not doing the silent retreat, but after talking to our mission director, Chris Benzinger, we decided that if I really needed someone to talk to, I would be allowed to.

The first day, I had to reflect on sin. After this day, I thought for sure that this was going to be a terrible week. I had never felt so bad before. When I talked about in spiritual direction, we realized that I was never able to forgive myself for some of the sins I committed. With my spiritual director, I decided that it would be good for me to go to confession. I was so scared! I thought about it for two days, and the second day, I could not deal with it anymore, so I went to talk to Chris. He helped me see that I was afraid that I would not be able to forgive myself, and that was what was keeping me from being happy. Chris made it very clear that forgiving yourself is a choice you can make every day. It is not a feeling you need to have, but a choice you make. When I really though about that, I realized he had a point.

So, I went to confession, and I decided that I would forgive myself. I did, and I have never felt such a relief before! I was so happy and energetic, but I could not speak about it with anyone. I decided take my bike and bike down a mountain to scream.

There still are times that I think back about everything I did, but I have to remind myself that I am forgiven, and I have the choice to forgive myself. Even when I really don’t feel that way, I have people around me who remind me of everything God has already done in my life, and they remind me that with God, I win!

For example, this week someone asked me how many victories I have had since eight-day. I said I don’t know, and he asked me to write them all down so I have something to look back at. I challenge you to look at your life, at least the last couple months, and think about the victories God has done in your life, small or big. Write them down and see how God is working in you own life!

Go Make a Difference:

Posted on by

It seems so long ago, but I am going to write about my Christmas break. I was able to go home for two weeks, back to the Netherlands. I was excited to see all my friends and family again, but I also did not want to go because I had to leave Covecrest which is my also my home with family. It can be easy here at Covecrest to do a holy hour in the morning and to follow our rhythm of prayer, and I knew that I had to do this on my own at home. At least that is what I thought it would be, but my mom went to church with me every time I wanted to go. That was awesome!

When I was home, I went to drink coffee with someone I have known for a very long time and who knows me very well. He told me that because of the decision I made and my strong faith in God, and also through the blogs I wrote, he made the decision to go back to church. He is now going to church every week! Here at Covecrest, you hear a lot of glory stories about people really experiencing God in their lives and going back to church, but I never thought that I could make a difference back at home by coming to Covecrest.

God was also putting it on my heart to speak at my church back at home. I contacted my hometown priest, and we decided I would talk at church on New Year’s. Normally I am very nervous talking in front of big groups, but this time I wasn’t! It was good to prepare everything I was going to say and to look back at the time I have already had at Covecrest. God really made me see all the good changes I have already made. I talked at my church, and people came to me saying that I gave them back hope for the church in the Netherlands and that they had prayed for me every Thursday, which I also did for them.

Through all of this, God really showed that I can make a difference. It doesn’t have to be by doing big things. It can also be by doing small things. Even when I am far away from home – I don’t know how many miles away (because we have kilometers) – I can still make a difference in people lives. I challenge you to be open about your faith, tell people why you believe, and give your testimony! You never know how God will work through your own story!

I Love Confession:

Posted on by

Yes, Confession. I never thought I would say that because until last week, I hated going to Confession. It was hard for me to say everything I did wrong to a priest. Every time I went to Confession, I decided beforehand what to say and what not to say. I held things back on purpose. Every time I left Confession, I would feel worse, and I could never figure out why.

It was on my heart for a few months to go to Confession and to be completely honest about everything. I talked about it with another Life Teen missionary and decided to go and to be completely honest. So I did. My Confession took an hour because this time I held nothing back. A priest told me that if I intentionally did not confess some sins that my Confession didn’t count. He said that your sins are not forgiven if you are not completely honest. So I had to confess everything I did in two years, because that was my last good Confession. But it was so awesome! I felt like I was really talking to God instead of talking to a priest.

The priest told me that from the moment of absolution I would be a new person. I didn’t believe him at first because I had never felt that way before. Looking back, I think it is because I was never completely honest. How could I expect to get anything out of Confession if I did not really confess the hard stuff? This time was different. When the priest prayed the prayer of absolution and my sins were forgiven, I physically felt a burden lifting off my shoulders and I actually did feel like a new person. I walked away feeling so happy. In previous Confessions, I still felt guilty afterwards but this time I felt that I was truly forgiven.

Sometimes I still struggle with the feeling of guilt, but I have to remind myself that God already forgave me and that I should forgive myself as well. Jesus died for us on the cross so that we can live.

When we are completely honest in Confession, we open the door for Jesus to love us in a special way. I challenge you to go to Confession and to be honest about everything and let God free you from every sin you have so you can be completely free – especially during this Christmas season.

Glorify God in your bodies:

Posted on by

As missionaries here at Covecrest, we live according to the Life Teen Missions Rule of Life. The purpose of the rule of life is to root our lives in Jesus Christ. Obedience to this rule of life leads us to form certain Christ-like habits, transforming us into witnesses of the Gospel. One of the sections of the rule is Glorify God in Your Bodies. It seemed pretty simple. We commit to not eating too much, to exercising, to getting a healthy amount of sleep, etc.

Until Wednesday, November 9th I thought I was doing a good job in glorifying God in my body. After all, I don’t over eat, I exercise, I sleep in on Mondays, I take showers and take care of my body. But when I read the the Mass readings of that day, I realized I was not really glorifying God in my body.

“Do you not know that you are the temple of God, and that the holy Spirit of God dwells in you? If anyone destroys God`s temple, God will destroy that person; for the temple of God, which you are, is holy”. 1 Corinthians 3:16-17

I am a temple of God; the Holy Spirit lives in me. I have to respect myself, not because I am a good person and I do good things, but because God lives in me. I believe in God. I love God. I respect God. Because God lives in me, I also have to love myself and respect myself.

Sometimes this is a hard thing to do, especially in this world. When you watch TV or read magazines you see beautiful women who are so thin and have beautiful hair and clothes. The world tells us we have to be like these people. It’s hard to respect yourself when the world is telling to you to change. That is even hard for me. The reading from that day reminded me that we are good (actually very good) the way we are because God made us in his own image.

“God created man in his image, in the divine image he created him; male and female he created them.” – Genesis 1:27

God is working in my life by teaching me how He loves me and how He invites me to respect myself for love of Him. I still have a long way to go, but I started to learn more about why God loves me. Sometimes it is hard to accept that God loves us when we do things that are not so good. But when I look at the cross, I have to face it. God loves us so much that He gave His only son to die for each one of us. He gave His life to wash all our bad things away. So the least that we can do is to accept that love, trust in His mercy and not bring ourselves down all the time.

It is good to remember that God lives in us and we can love and respect Him by loving and respecting ourselves.

Do Not Be Afraid:

Posted on by

Do not be afraid. How often do we hear these words? As a child, our parents say it a lot – if you are afraid of the dark or if you think there is a monster under your bed. As a child of God, God the Father says, “Do not be afraid.” Jesus says it to His apostles. I was reading the gospel recently and it said:

“Do not be afraid.” – Luke 12:7

The day before I read this phrase in the gospel, we were sitting in our house with all the female missionaries and Jessica asked who wanted to share about the gospel the next day. I said that I didn’t like sharing in big groups.  On the inside, I was afraid. Then we read the gospel for the next day that clearly stated, “Do not be afraid.”  So, I said that maybe I need to do this. And I did. I shared about the gospel, and it felt good! God is challenging me to do things I am not used to doing, and sometimes that makes me feel uncomfortable, but he also comforts me through the gospel saying “Do not be afraid.”

It took me two years to trust God and to have the courage to be a missionary, but when I finally made the decision to come, a feeling of peace fell over me, and I knew I made the right decision. I wasn’t afraid.

When I came here I was a little bit overwhelmed with what God wanted to change in my life. I was afraid to be open for His love and His plans for me. I closed myself to everything and everyone around me, but I noticed that it wasn’t making me happy. I start feeling alone and grumpy.

At the October Life Teen Conference for youth ministers and core member, I was praying during adoration (that is when the priest puts the Eucharist in a monstrance).  I was struggling because I always try to do everything on my own.  As a result, I was not really open to depending on God and receiving His love for me.   During adoration, I finally decided that I couldn’t do it on my own.  I decided that I wanted to give God a chance and to be open for His love. I did not want to be afraid.  So I prayed for openness and I asked God for his help.  Since then, I have been more peaceful and happy.  Now, I am enjoying my life at Covecrest more.  My prayer experience in adoration followed by “Do not be afraid” in the gospel, was a confirmation of my choice to be open for God’s love and His plans for me.

God is with me. He is showing His love for me through scripture. He is giving me the chance to grow in my confidence by speaking to teens I don’t know. Our God is a good and loving God. Be open to his love and:

“Do not be afraid.” – Luke 12:7