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More than A Song!:

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In the fall of 2005 I was a senior in high school and involved with FCA (Fellowship of Christian Athletes) at my school. We would meet once a month in our auditorium for about 45 minutes. I still remember that at these meetings is where I truly learned how to pray with music. I remember “Tell the World” by Hillsong was the first song that I really recognized I was praying rather than singing. I had been on plenty of retreats and conferences throughout high school before I started going to these meetings, but I had never experienced worship like this before. I think I was starting to recognize that my faith was about a relationship rather than how much I know, which was a real struggle for me having friends that could spit out bible verse like no other. That year was an exciting time in my life. It really jump started my relationship with the Lord and I am so thankful for being blessed to be a part of FCA in high school.

Recently, I was reminded of this time in my life when I went to a Gungor concert that my friends, Bellarive, opened for. The crazy thing about Bellarive is the lead singer, Sean, was the one leading worship at FCA when we were seniors. So, being at the concert reminded me of that time when my relationship with the Lord was jump started. That was seven years ago when that moment happened. So much has happened in my life since that moment. I didn’t think I would be living in the mountains of Georgia as a missionary or had grown as much as I have in my relationship with the Lord. Sean and I were talking after the show just about what worship is about. We both were in agreement that it’s about leading you back to the Lord. I’m very thankful for understanding that concept and, that when I’m praising & worshiping, I’m not singing a song, but praying a prayer. And being Catholic, I feel blessed that this form of prayer has helped bring me into a deeper understanding and relationship with the Blessed Sacrament. Seven years ago when I first learned what praise & worship was with a bunch of non-catholics I could have never imagined that it would have brought me into such a deep relationship with the Blessed Sacrament. And now, I’m loving to be in silence with the Lord for a hour on a daily basis… All because of that moment seven years ago at FCA.

Also Check out Bellarive out at bellarive.com

Prayer Works!:

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After being in full time missions for almost 2 years and living at a camp where I see God do amazing things all the time, I sometimes still forget about the power of prayer.  Every week, we pray for the teens who will be coming to Covecrest on retreat that weekend.  Every weekend, teens arrive at Covecrest with their youth group and I am blessed to see amazing growth and conversions in teens through the sacraments, adoration, relational ministry and even through conversations during meal times. Too easily, I become complacent and forget the need to continue praying unceasingly because the Lord works miracles every weekend here at Covecrest.

Actually, an experience away from Covecrest rekindled in me the power of prayer.  For about two years, I have been praying with and for a friend in Baltimore for a solid, Catholic young adult community centered around the Blessed Sacrament. Last year, he started, with the help of Dominicans, a monthly adoration night that includes fellowship afterwards. It started off really slowly and was a struggle for him and his fiancée because they desired so much for it to grow. He had asked me, and many others, to pray for the ministry.  We prayed with expectation  and trust.

In January, I went with some of the other missionaries to their night of adoration in Baltimore and I had the blessing of speaking at the event prior to adoration. One of the missionaries asked how many people usually come and they said between 20 and 70, you just never know how many will show each month. The best turn out they ever had was 70, and that was the previous month. When I started speaking, a good number of people were there: probably around 30 or so, and as I was speaking more were coming in. By the end of the night after adoration, there had to be close to 70 people in the church. It was amazing! The Lord had really moved in the hearts of the young people that night. Through this experience and being reminded of all the prayer that went into the event, the Lord reminded me about the power of prayer and that it works.

Thank you to all of you who are praying for me and the other missionaries. Know that your prayers are working. The Lord is truly moving greatly within our hearts!

 

 

Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?:

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Before I began this Mission year in September, a common question I was asked was, “Stephen, what are you most excited about for this year?”  I answered in the same way to every single person, “To grow in Christian brotherhood.” I thought that it would be easy to do since I was going to be living with five other guys at Covecrest. This desire actually seemed like it would be granted to me rather easily and I wouldn’t even have to work hard at it. Well, the Lord had different plans.

Now, I am no longer one of the Missionaries at Covecrest. Rather, I am part of the Missionary Team in Europe. When I moved to good ol’ Deutschland at the end of October, I went from living with five other guys to living with just one: my missionary brother and I were the only two guys of the community of eight people.  At first that didn’t sound so difficult, but it was. We talked about this a couple of times, how it wasn’t that we weren’t getting along but that it was just difficult living with six women and having only one other guy to go to. It also didn’t help living in a village in Germany where few speak English. The ones that did weren’t able to satisfy the deep intentional conversations we desired to have. Honestly though, there was no reason to complain about it.

Let’s face it; the Lord put me in this community with only one other guy for a reason. At first, I thought that maybe it was for me to learn how to have a real and intentional relationship with one brother as I couldn’t go to anyone else when I didn’t like what he had to say. I have done this for so many years with my friendships. If I didn’t like what someone had to say, I would just see what someone else thought. If it sounded better, I would go with what they said rather than with the previous person’s advice. So, I thought the Lord was trying to teach me that I couldn’t do that anymore.

Well of course, I was wrong again! My missionary brother discerned that Europe wasn’t where the Lord wanted him.  So last month, he returned to Covecrest in Georgia to serve the rest of this missionary year there. I’m still here because the Lord has revealed to me through prayer that I am supposed to be here. But now I am the lone guy in our community with five women.

Honestly it has been very difficult and frustrating for me at times this past month. I still don’t totally understand why the Lord would put this desire for brotherhood on my heart and then have me in Europe as the only male Life Teen missionary. I went from living with five other guys to living with one guy and now living by myself in a small apartment in Germany. Some days I am sitting in the girls’ house with all them and I feel so alone because I am the only guy there.  I desire so much for another guy to be here day in and day out, someone I can share with on a daily basis how I am doing. Well that isn’t what the Lord has provided thus far for me.

Recently, the Lord revealed to me that, even though He was taking all of these people out of my life, it wasn’t without reason. I have been seeking and longing so much for brotherhood that I have forgotten to turn to Lord. It has been revealed to me that God is the Father and that Christ is my brother. And that desire that Lord put in my heart for brotherhood so long ago was not for brotherhood with people, but for brotherhood with Him.  The desire to have that brotherhood with other guys is important, but I need to continually remind myself that it is nowhere near the importance of the brotherhood with Christ, where I’m called to dive in deeper.

Please pray with me that I may have Holy Indifference that I may be indifferent to everything except for what the Lord wants. Also, pray with me that more men will rise up to not just the call to missions, but more importantly to follow the Lord in every aspect of their lives.

Life’s Tough, Get A Helmet!:

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Back in November, I had the opportunity to go on the Life Teen retreat for our area with Melanie, Amanda, and Alyssa. A religious community called the Community of the Beatitudes ran the retreat. I have been working in youth ministry for the past five years as a core member, and I have always had some sort of responsibility. Well, that wasn’t the case on this retreat. We were called to simply be there and dive into the retreat with the teens. That sounded great at first; but, alas I still didn’t know the language as well as I hoped I would have by that time. The whole weekend seemed to be a German language overload, to say the least. It was very frustrating for me. I couldn’t have anything more than a simple conversation with the teens because their English was only as good as my German.

After the retreat, some of the teens shared about their experiences at Mass in front of the congregation. Of course, I didn’t understand what they were saying. Later, it was shared with me that the Lord moved powerfully in their hearts during their time on retreat. They really wanted to go deeper. Being at the retreat was very hard for me, but it really put a conviction in my heart to be more intentional about participating more heavily in language class and during our study times. As hard as it is to be in class, I now know how important it is for me to learn the language.

We are not here in Europe just to hang out; we are here to proclaim the Gospel to those who don’t know it. If being in another country requires me to learn a new language, then I need to stop sitting around while hoping it happens with a snap of a finger. I need to actually work at it. It’s going to be tough and frustrating, but this is where the Lord has called me to be. So, it’s time to suck it up and learn the language. To quote Eric Matthews, “Life’s Tough Get A Helmet!” Please pray that I may learn the language so I can better serve the Lord in Europe.

Striving For Holiness, Not Perfection:

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“Many people seem to believe that creating a community is a matter of simply gathering together under the same roof a few people who get on reasonably well together or committed to the same ideal. The result can be disastrous!” –Community and Growth

I have been living in some form of community since I was a sophomore in college. Not only did I truly believe that first line from Community and Growth for almost three years, but I also had the crazy notion that all those who follow Christ and live in community were in some sort of perfect world–especially, when I looked at religious orders, where I didn’t think any worldly problems could arise. Even after hearing the gospel of Luke proclaim countless times how much the apostles quarreled, I think I just ignored that part and thought they were always perfect in community.

“And an argument arose among them as to which of them was the greatest.” Luke 9:46

While being at Covercrest for the formation month, I was reminded of this unattainable expectation that I sometimes put on community. Don’t get me wrong. Living in community is great and it is definitely calling me to holiness, but one thing that it isn’t, is perfect. It has always been a struggle for me to love others that I don’t necessarily get along with in my life.  But, if I do not love others as Christ did, do I really love Christ fully? The Lord is calling me to truly dive into community by teaching me how to love others when I don’t necessarily want to talk to or even be around different people in my community. Last year, I would just ignore a problem I had with someone and let it slowly build up over time. Well, that didn’t really help the situation, it only made it worse–especially, when everything came full circle and a huge argument ensued that could have been avoided if I hadn’t tried to bottle it up.   So, right now, I am learning to express what I am feeling and how to love others–because, honestly, if I don’t know how to do that, I don’t really know the Lord as well as I think I do.

“Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, ‘You shall not commit adultery; you shall not kill; you shall not steal; you shall not covet,’ and whatever other commandment there may be, are summed up in this saying, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Love does no evil to the neighbor; hence, love is the fulfillment of the law.” Romans 13:8-10

So, one thing that I have to continued to remind myself, is that community isn’t some Utopian place where everything is perfect and there are no struggles. On the contrary, community is definitely not easy and it doesn’t just happen magically that everyone becomes best friends. One thing that is perfect, is Heaven, and living in community is helping me get one step closer to the ultimate goal of getting there. Praise God that community is teaching me how to love others as Christ loves us and to die to myself, not out of spite, but with love.

Pray for peace in Sudan and the Korean Peninsula.

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“Pray Without Ceasing”:

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Photos by Debbie DeVoe/Catholic Relief Services

The Kingdom of God includes more than just the church in the United States. In the Bible, Paul calls us to never stop praying, “Pray without ceasing” (1 Thesselonians 5:17).  Thus, I want to send out an invitation to everyone who is reading this. Please join us, the missionaries, and the whole Life Teen family in praying for peace in Sudan. We have joined the Bishops of Sudan in committing to pray for a 101 day period. On January 9, 2011, the people will be voting about dividing Sudan into two separate countries. The intentions of this prayer are for the people to find a peaceful resolution. I don’t know enough information to really explain the full details of this conflict, but I know enough to ask you to join us in prayer. Catholic Relief Services has sent up a very helpful website so we can learn more about what is going on and how we can help http://peaceinsudan.crs.org/ . On that website, you can also find the prayer that we are praying for the 101 Days of Prayer http://peaceinsudan.crs.org/pray/ . I encourage you to go to the website and learn more about what is going on with our brothers and sisters in Sudan. And please, join us in the prayer for peace.

Photos by Debbie DeVoe/Catholic Relief Services

I’ve Been Deported!:

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I’ve been deported! Who would have ever thought that a kid that grew up in central Florida would end up in Germany just a few short months after he graduated college? Not this guy! When I graduated college in May I had this set plan in my head that I was going to get a job as a youth minister in Baltimore, Maryland.  Well I was clearly wrong about where God wanted me to be.  This is apparent by my current location in a small town in Germany and not one of the biggest cities in the United States. God definitely humbled me by making it clear that the plans I had made to move to Baltimore were clearly not his own. He had other plans for me and he was just waiting for me to actually stop and listen to what he had prepared for me.

A continual theme in my life for the past year has been surrender and vulnerability before the Blessed Sacrament. This was relatively easy for me to realize, but not so easy to actually surrender and actually be vulnerable. Another thing that became very apparent to me this year was that I was very independent and always wanted to be in control of my life especially my future. So when the Lord started asking me to really surrender everything to him, my self-reliance and independence surfaced. Every chance I was given by the Lord to surrender to him I would runaway because I was afraid of the unknown because I wanted to be in control of my life.

With me applying to be a missionary this year it may have taken a little bit longer than it should have because I was still running away from the Lord’s will and focusing so much on myself and not the Lord. I decided in the middle of May that I was going to apply to become a missionary. Funny story I didn’t end up finishing the application until the last weekend of July. That was because of this fear that really just took control of me for most of the summer. I was basically just ignoring the Lord because he made it quite clear that he was calling me to be a missionary. The summer was spent running in the opposite direction that I was supposed to be. But then the Lord set me in my place. While I was having a conversation with a friend I felt very convicted that the Lord was calling me into missions for this year. And I knew for certain after I turned my application in that if I was asked to be a Life Teen missionary I was going to answer “Yes” with true conviction.

So fast forward two months. I had started the missionary year with the intention of being a Covecrest for the year. Whelp! That wasn’t the case as is made clear by my current location. The Lord once again was calling me to surrender and into a deeper communion with him. And really to just trust in his will. I still had in the back of my mind that I was going to end up in Baltimore next August. Again I was really not letting the Lord truly move in my life. I was still trying to be in control of my future. About three weeks ago the whole community was asked to pray about if another guy in the community was called to go to Germany. As soon as that was said I felt a tug at my heart and knew that it was a good possibility that Lord was calling me to surrender once again and go to Germany. This was not a part of my plan at all. Apparently the Lord doesn’t like it when I make my own plans. He rather me just trust him and stop making plans of my own. I even tried to pray a novena to the Sacred Heart of Jesus to have more conviction in whether or not I was being called to Germany. Well he didn’t even let me finish the novena before I had to make a decision about Germany. It was another way the Lord was really calling me to trust in him. I still can’t believe that I am here in Germany. Within three weeks time a lot has really happened in my life. I discerned for over a week if I was really being called here or not. Then when I had decided to come here I had a week and half before I got a plane to come over here. And now I have been here for about three days. So it really has felt like the Lord has deported to Europe because of how fast this all has happened. But now that I am here I know this is where I am supposed to be. I have so much peace with what the Lord has done in the past month and even with how I have been led this year up to this point. It hasn’t been an easy year. Definitely filled with a lot of suffering and pain, but it has been very fruitful. My prayer this year is going to be that I am able surrender more and more to the Lord each day.

So please pray for myself and all of the missionaries this year. And pray for peace in Sudan.