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Pep Talk for Singles

Advent is a great season for me to wonder who God has me waiting for. Of course, Jesus is the answer to that question. But I am speaking of my vocation. Specifically, I am thinking about my vocation to marriage during this season and all the circumstances that have brought me to being single at this time in my life.

Somehow in the midst of bad dates (most of them blind ones), relationships gone wrong, bad timing, and my stupidity, is God’s providence. Look, no one likes to wait. And no one likes being alone. But both of these things can be beneficial.

Trust is the key for me as I continue to wait for the Lord to present a spouse. As difficult as it can be at times, true waiting means trusting. If I didn’t trust that God has a plan, it would be easy to grow impatient and lose hope. And that’s when I start to make my plans.

I’ve done this before. It’s mainly been the times in my life when I’ve dated simply for the sake of dating. My interest was more for me than for her. And my intentions weren’t intentional.

Dating without a focus is as useless as waiting without a focus. The focus during periods of waiting, particularly when it comes to our vocation, should remain on where God has us now and remaining open to where He is leading us.

I know there are people reading this who are single and think they are close to or past the age where they should’ve been married. Yeah, I feel you. But God is calling you to a deeper level of trust in Him. And when you completely surrender to Him, the Lord will have you exactly where He wants.

But, even if He doesn’t provide your spouse right away — or at all — we are still called to wait in hope and trust. Anything less puts conditions on God’s plan for our life. That’s just plain dangerous. And it doesn’t work.

When we embrace where we are and trust God’s plan for our lives, it certainly makes any negative aspect of being single — the unknowns and the weariness of waiting — almost nonexistent.

I don’t wake up every day excited to be single. That’s why I continually renew my trust in the Lord, recalling what Jesus said, “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life.” (Matthew 6:25)

When the end goal is good — and, moreover, when it’s worth my while — the waiting isn’t so bad. As hard as it may be to keep taking it back to prayer and to keep the discernment clear, this is what God calls me to do.

Advent offers us a chance to slow down. Sure, married people and families can do this too but I think single persons can do it with much less distraction. And I am grateful for this, just as every single out there trying to grow in holiness should.

I am grateful for this opportunity. I challenge every single person who finds a higher level of loneliness, longing for a spouse or wanting to have children of their own during Advent and Christmas season to embrace where God has your life right now. I challenge you to take advantage of how Advent can let you go deeper by bringing this to the Lord and prayerfully entering into the same longing the world had for the birth of a Savior, who would change the course of their lives.

This is the Savior who has changed the course of history. His name is Jesus; Emmanuel, God with us. Get to know Him in a new way. As you wait for your spouse, see Advent as an opportunity to grow in the midst of waiting and become more ready for the day you unite with your spouse.

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About the Author

Chris Epplett

Chris lives in Plymouth, MI. He used to own a dog, but the dog found a better home. Chris is a life-long Catholic who attended an active Life Teen program in high school. He enjoys writing, running and the Detroit Lions. He does not like mayonnaise, gout or bad drivers. He is the high school youth minister at Our Lady of Good Counsel in Plymouth, MI. Chris has lived in Michigan his entire life, lovingly pointing to various spots on his hand, aka the Mitten. To connect with Chris, email him at cepplett@gmail.com.