Some days I wake up and just wonder, “God, what are you doing?” Each day I am filled with so many different emotions of loving my job, feeling called to work in ministry, and at the same time only wanting to be a wife and mom. In one single moment, I can joyously geek-out making Edge curriculum and then have the greatest urge to throw it all to the wind and play with my one-year-old all day. There is a constant rollercoaster of to-do lists at home and work. All the demands of being a mom can lead me to the general conclusion that this is hard, and I am in desperate need of more coffee.

There are days I legitimately question how it is possible to function after a year and a half of not having more than four hours of straight sleep. Kudos to you out there with more than one kid who have not slept in like seven years. There are mornings after being up all night with my son that I wake up desperately holding onto the promise that “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13). There are days when I feel like I have absolutely nothing left to give in any area of my life. And then there are the days when I get to work and look in the mirror and wish I had cleaned up before I left my house. #bedhead #breakfastleftoversonmyface #fail

My life is full of so many wonderful things, and I feel so blessed – but when they get all mixed sometimes I get overwhelmed and feel like a failure, and other times I feel like supermom. In the midst of it all though I continually wonder, Lord what is the point of all this? What are you trying to do? And the answer is always – I am trying to get you to heaven.

In every situation and every circumstance of our life, Christ is at work to make us holy. Our vocations, families, kids, work, struggles, failures, and successes are all a part of Christ’s work in our lives to refine us and purify us. The point is not to be the perfect spouse and mom or dad who can do no wrong, or to have the perfect youth ministry program, or the cleanest house that looks like it’s straight out of Pinterest. No! It is about approaching each situation with love and serving those around us. It is about laying down our pride, taking up our crosses with joy, and carrying them behind the One who died for us.

It is of no use to sit around wishing that things were different: that you didn’t have to work, that you had more sleep, that you had more money, or less spit-up on your clothes. Because this very moment, this day, and all the many demands of life surrounding you are all part of God’s will. They are the very things that your holiness is made of, and Jesus is right there next to you ready to walk with you on this road to heaven that He has mapped out just for you.

So if you are like me sitting here with three hours of sleep and a very large cup of coffee – rest in the peace of knowing that some way, somehow this will make you holy. That even if today we cannot see the good in all the many situations of our life, it’s okay because we have a God who can and who will use them all to get us to heaven.


Image via FlickrCC 2.0 Logo added 

About the Author

Amanda Grubbs

Amanda Grubbs is a graduate from Franciscan University with a degree in Theology and Catechetics with a concentration in Youth Ministry. She serves as the Edge Support Coordinator for Life Teen, and is actively involved at her local parish. She is a Colorado native, happily married, and loves all things fall (which is unfortunate when living in the middle of the desert). You can email her at or follower her on Twitter @LT_AmandaG.

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