Being Single/Dating/My Relationships Why I Don’t Need Attention by Katie Trudeau Growing up, I was never a “girly girl” or “boy crazy.” In fact, looking back, I think I looked down on girls who seemed like they couldn’t live without a guy by their side. As I grew older, I understood why they loved the attention and didn’t want to let go of it. In fact, I began to experience it as well. To let go of something that is comfortable is hard to do. During these times, we feel (or at least I feel) the constant battle between flesh and spirit. Part of that tug-of-war is due to temptation. “There are in truth three states of the converted: the beginning, the middle, and the perfection. In the beginning they experience the charms of sweetness; in the middle the contests of temptation; and in the end the fullness of perfection.” -Pope St. Gregory the Great This quote always inspires me because it means that the conversion is still alive and well in me (and in you!). Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’ve given up on God or that He has given up on you. You’re still in it to win it, so find the positives in midst of the temptations. In midst of a committed relationship or just casual dating, the temptation to feel affirmed and loved, almost constantly, is all too real for us. I was one to always need that emotional affirmation, subconsciously. And therefore, I looked for it in all the wrong places. Once I started getting rooted in Christ and allowing Him to deepen the roots, I noticed a peace. A wise woman once directed me to Colossians 2:7, “Having been firmly rooted and now being built up in Him and established in your faith, just as you were instructed, and overflowing with gratitude.” Once I was rooted in Christ, I was loved and affirmed by Him more than I ever deserved. It then allowed me to see guys for who they really were, and if they didn’t treat me with respect, I didn’t crave that attention or affirmation from them… I just moved on. Thankfully the Lord blessed me with amazing guy friends who have treated me with the utmost respect and show me how I should be treated. They show my value due to how they act around me. This is a GIFT. Having genuine male-female friendships with no romantically inclined feelings gives your heart and mind the support it needs for the best and worst of times. For me, I have come to know my value through my brothers in Christ. Therefore, when a guy comes along to pursue me, I can see the red flags immediately if I’m not being treated well. Although, if I am, I know that the friendship then is worth the discernment for a relationship. After months of prayer about protecting my heart, I’ve found that most guys won’t even blip on my radar if they don’t have those Godly qualities when I first encounter them. Keep God at the top of your love triangle and the Holy Spirit will guide your mind and heart to glorify Him in all that you do. He will give you a peace that you cannot explain or sometimes doesn’t even make sense. Let the Lord pursue you at all costs. He has you protected with His victorious right hand, fear nothing.