“All the single ladies, all the single ladies…” Whether you’re the girl next door or the beauty pageant queen, us single girls may not wake up every morning with a tattoo on our forehead saying #LONELY, but deep down our words and actions may scream it daily.

I know you. You look around the hallways at school and all you see are couples. Every day feels like “Singles Awareness Day,” which is weird because you feel so invisible 90% of the time.

I get it. I was just like you once. I walked through the halls as cool and casual as possible, but secretly I wanted to have a huge sign on my forehead that says: “Hi. I promise I’m cool, fun, and normal. ASK ME TO PROM.”

I attended all the dances at my high school with a group of friends, both my junior and senior year. When my college friends go through my prom pictures I hear the question: “I don’t get it Katie… Why were you never asked?”

The real question is: how did I handle it without being bitter? Because yes, I was a normal teenage girl with feelings and struggles in the self-esteem department.

Well, first-off, lots of prayer. Through prayer I found I was resenting not having a date for all superficial reasons. I was ready to settle for a boy to bring me to a dance because I was only thinking about myself.

Are you ready to ask yourself that question? 3… 2… 1… Do you only want __(you name the guy)__ by your side for: a picture, a dinner, a dance, your reputation, or even just the idea of having a date?

The truth is that you are worth more than that.

God Doesn’t Want You to Settle

We are daughters of a King; we are princesses of heaven. I know that sometimes you get upset with yourself and try to lower the high standards you’ve set for guys. Don’t do it. Don’t beat yourself up and blame yourself for being single. Instead, pray to have a deep trust in the Lord. This will bring you peace knowing that settling for a boy is never the answer.

I know that you are yearning for affirmation and love, and that’s exactly what God wants to offer you! Run to Him in the Sacraments and His word.

You’re waiting for a knight in shining armor to ask you to the dance, while a man died 2,000 years ago slaying the real dragon for you.

Know your worth.

I’m here to simply be a messenger from the One who created you and I. God told us that His daughters are “more precious than jewels; And nothing you desire compares with her” (Proverbs 3:15).

When you feel unworthy of love, it’s the devil who is putting that thought in your head. He can tug at your heart strings and make you feel so unworthy, when in reality you’re the most precious thing on this earth! Satan is at work when you look in the mirror and all you hear is, “you’re not good enough.” But fear not because it’s simply not true!

Fight low self-esteem with the Word

My go-to is always Proverbs or Song of Songs. These are where God’s words transform into love letters for me, and I hope for you. As you read you will see how precious you are to your Father.

He said, “cast all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) Pour your heart out to Him and let Him know what is bothering you. He’s never bored and disappointed, rather He gives you a cross to bear that will help you grow in virtues like grace, humility, and patience. Meet Jesus at the cross and see that He is the the only guy you need by your side.

Sometimes negative thoughts got in my head, but I wasn’t going to let an hour of sulking one day prevent me from memories that would last me a lifetime!

So the next time you’re dateless…

If it’s a dance, keep Christ at your side, treat yourself to a beautiful dress, and don’t forget to break out your best dance moves… you know – the ones you practice in your room with the door shut.

And if it’s another lonely Saturday night, try to see this time of singleness as a gift. Use these precious moments to serve others, share the Gospel and grow in virtue. Yes, of course you can have some “me-time” but it’s very important to deepen your relationship with the Lord before any other guy walks across your path. A young woman who loves the Lord with all her mind, body and soul is rare. I encourage you to lean into the Lord during those times you envy couples or feel miserable and lonely because society tells you all day long that you are unworthy without a guy by your side. All these earthly “standards” are not of God. You were made for heaven and that means you are not of this world.

Pray for the guys who God will place in your life, and pray even harder for those who’ve already come and gone. Be the hidden gem for that young man who is out there yearning to find a young woman who is confident in the Lord.

Love,
Your sister in Christ, Katie