Being Single/Dating/My Relationships/Teen Relationships A Relationship is Not a Reward by Leah Murphy I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one who has faithfully prayed for a solid five minutes in my local adoration chapel and promptly glanced around the pews for ten minutes, looking for a holy hottie to get to know. (And if I am the only one, I guess that’s the crazy in me showing). I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have days where I try my best to put my relationship with Christ first and then expect that, because I’ve done that, He’s going to drop some suave saint into my life. And I’d be lying if I said that I never got frustrated when it feels like I’m doing all that I can to get my relationship with Christ right, but He hasn’t led me to mister right. But I’d also be lying if I said that any of those expectations or frustrations are justified. My single life isn’t a unique time given to me so that I’ll put Christ first, until the right man comes along. This time in my life has not been given to me to focus on my relationship with Christ so that He’ll reward me a few years down the line with my very own Prince Charming. Jesus isn’t going to reward me for loving Him during my single years by gifting me with a wonderful boyfriend. He will not decide at any certain point that my love, my devotion, and my piety have suddenly earned me a great romantic relationship. And He will never owe me a perfect spouse, no matter how much I put Him first during my single years. That’s because Jesus owes me nothing. Yet he’s given me everything. He’s given me His very life so that I might enter into the divine life, the eternal exchange of love that is the Trinity. That needs to be enough. That is enough. My love for Christ needs to be a response to this reality, not a selfish exchange for any person or thing, except the love of Christ. We have to stop looking at being single as a unique time focus our love on Christ, while simultaneously holding out for the spouse we’re counting on Him giving us one day. Because Jesus doesn’t want our love in exchange for another relationship — He wants our love in exchange for His so that, as we hold nothing back from Him, He can give us the fullness of His love. We can’t run to the arms of Jesus and, while in that embrace, be looking over His shoulder for that perfect man or woman to come along and make all our dreams for the perfect boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, or life come true. We need to close our eyes, surrender to that embrace. Let that be enough. Because it is enough. Life isn’t waiting to happen when the right person comes along. It begins now, when the God of the universe pours out his infinite love into your heart. And to receive this love most fully, we need to let go of our attachments and trust that this love is enough.