That was stupid. What kind of awkward wave was that? Was that supposed to be a joke? It wasn’t funny. Why did you say that? They all hate you now. Just stop talking. Just leave. Like now.

This is what the inside of my brain sounds like on a daily basis. This particular track is quieter some days than on others, but it’s almost always just kind of there, in the background, making me wonder who allowed me in public.

I go out of my way not to get hurt. I stew over every potential mishap and disappointment, I contemplate all the reasons my friends will probably ditch me soon, and all for the sole purpose of trying to keep myself safe. If I can just anticipate every way that I might end up hurt or disappointed, then I will always be prepared. I will never be caught off guard. It’s a thorough plan—practical and safe.

Unfortunately, I know from experience that God’s plan for my life rarely emphasizes “practical and safe.” His style is usually more “extravagant and radical.”

Why does that surprise me? That’s the way He gives Himself to me; that’s the way He asks me to give myself to others.

Extravagantly. Radically.

Still, it can be difficult to see why being vulnerable is a good idea. Sometimes, it seems downright foolish. But it isn’t for nothing; it’s for love.

Inauthenticity always leads us away from love, away from God, and away from ourselves. God gave us each other as a way of loving Him; we must love each other in order to love Him. But, if we keep ourselves hidden away, we are keeping the most important gift of all, the most powerful love of all, from each other.

Vulnerability leads us to God and to each other, and, because of this, it is always fruitful in our lives if we allow it.

Vulnerability affirms our identity and keeps us humble.

It’s when we let ourselves be seen, imperfections and all, that we understand most fully that our identity is in Christ, because, with Christ, we have nothing to be ashamed of. Vulnerability has a beautiful way of providing us with the experience necessary to believe that we are redeemed, that we are worthy, and that we are valuable.

Understanding our identity in Christ also allows humility to flourish. It gives us lasting inner peace and therefore makes us available to others; it prepares our hearts to serve. Without an identity in Christ, we cannot expect to serve like Christ.

Vulnerability brings us peace, and peace allows us to be vulnerable. Basically, practice makes perfect. If you choose just one thing you’re nervous to say or to do or to confess, and just do it, you will find that it gets easier each time. So, have courage, and jump in.

Vulnerability decreases unhealthy comparison.

The same way that vulnerability affirms that our identity is in Christ, it also affirms that we don’t need to be perfect and we don’t need to make ourselves into the spitting image of someone else.

Sometimes, we can pray to believe these things for months or years, but we won’t believe it until we start praying it with our actions. Vulnerability and authenticity help us prove to ourselves that we are worthy and valuable and that we have so much to offer.

So ask God to reveal your gifts to you. Ask God to give you courage and peace. And let your whole life be a part of that prayer.

Vulnerability fulfills our purpose to be a self-gift.

We are each made to be a gift—to give ourselves away for the good of another. It can be really tempting to think of this truth only in terms of our usefulness. We know that we should give of things like our money, our time, our patience, our skills. We know we should donate and volunteer. All of those things are beautiful, but we are also meant to give ourselves, to give who we are.

That is what the world needs most of all. It needs who we are; it needs our hearts, the beautiful hearts that God gave us to reflect Himself to the world.

You are a gift to me. You are a gift to all those around you. The question: are you going to share that gift or not?

Because we are made to give ourselves away, one of the best ways to let you be you is often to focus on other people and be intentional with the way you interact with them. When you make eye contact, smile. When you are talking with someone, ask them questions and focus on listening to the answer. Pray the Litany of Humility or another prayer that helps you focus on others and be less self-conscious.

I know that God asks me to give of myself extravagantly and radically, but sometimes staying anxious and safe seems wiser. Could vulnerability really be the better option? When I start to wonder, all I have to do is look at the cross. I see my Jesus crucified and it’s so extravagant, so radical, so vulnerable that the only thing left to ask myself is, “Is Jesus the one you love or isn’t He? Is He the one you serve or isn’t He?”

Vulnerability, as painful and as nerve-wracking as it is sometimes, frees me to be a self-gift and to see my own value. It allows me to receive others for who they are in a way that inauthenticity will never allow me to. It allows me not only to give myself to others, but to give myself to my God in an even fuller and more sincere way.

The same anxious thoughts are always there in the back of my mind, insisting that “safe and practical” is more important, and maybe they always will be. Being vulnerable—being myself—isn’t something I can do just once and be done with. It’s something I have to work on every day, but that’s okay because God is loving me through it.