Check out our series on different types of unhealthy friendships.
Enabler Friend
Guess who I ran into today? Nikki! And she totally looked great in the outfit I picked out for her
Balanced Friend
Oh, that’s cool. Did you guys have fun?
Yeah except I don’t like talking with her that much because she’s always tearing herself down and I have to constantly tell her she looks ok, or that everything’s going to be ok.
Yeah, it’s like she’s trying to feel bad about herself so that you can make her feel better, huh?
Maybe, but … it’s fine, she just needs me. I took care of her problems for her. She was worried about this guy so I told her what to do.
Why did you do that?
Do what?
Make her decisions for her. She has to be able to do that for herself.
Well she has me, so she doesn’t have to.
No … that’s not right. Everyone has to be able to independent as they get older.
Um, wow … you’re totally over analyzing this situation!
No, actually I’m not, because I know that this happens a lot with Nikki.
So? She can’t deal with stuff. It doesn’t matter because I give great advice!
Yeah advice is good, you should help her but not do things FOR her.
She’s fragile, ok? You’re being insensitive.
She’s fragile because she’s protecting herself from getting hurt.
Well problem solved. She won’t get hurt if I help her and tell her what to do.
But needy people like Nikki have to be encouraged to be their own person instead of letting other people (like you) tell them who they are.
I never asked you … go juggle or something.
Listen, I know you want to be a good friend to her so I’m just saying that you should help her realize she has something to offer by just being who she is.
Why don’t you?
Ok! Good idea, I will! Where is she?
Pouting over there cause McDonalds gave her a chocolate shake instead of vanilla.
Questions for You:
- Do you lean too much on other people to assure yourself you’re doing the right thing, look ok or are a good person?
- Is there someone in your life who you feel like you have to “take care of?”
- Do you help your needy friends to see their worth and value as their own person?
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[...] are awesome. But, what happens when one of your friends becomes needy? Remember Needy Nikki? You know, the friend who has an unhealthy attachment to you. How do you deal with this? This is [...]