You know what will get you absolutely nowhere? Comparing yourself to other people. It’s pointless and Jesus doesn’t like it. I know He’s not a fan because He isn’t comparing us to everyone else (Psalm 139:14).

So why on earth do I want to compare myself to other people? I take that back. I don’t want to . . . my mind is obliged to compare myself to everyone. (Okay, so maybe that’s slightly dramatic.)

Last week I ran in a race and a couple times I was reduced to the “I feel hot and nauseous; I’m so over this” jog that is very slow (if you’ve never experienced it for yourself). And you know who did NOT motivate me? The 70 year old next to me who was speed walking at the same (if not a faster) pace than me. Come on. Really?

It’s in moments like this, and other times when I feel like I’m not good enough, that I ask myself, “Why can’t I be more like that person? They must be so much better than I am.”

But . . .

• What if St. Therese only wanted to be like St. Clare?
• What if there were no soccer players because they all thought football was cooler?
• What if everyone thought plaid or neon was cool so no one wore anything else? (Wait, bad example – that may or may not be actually happening.)
• What if we had no doctors because everyone just had to be interior designers?

The point is that God made us different and it just doesn’t help to compare yourself to other people. So let’s just stop. There will always be someone better than you at something. There will always be someone who you think it more attractive than you, or who in your mind has better talents. You have to constantly remind yourself of the truth that you are enough just as you are.

I have a hard time with comparing myself to everyone . . . in just about any situation. But I am uniquely me for a reason. You’re you for a reason. And Jesus wants us that way. Jesus doesn’t compare us because He’s so in love with who we are right now. Let’s ask for the grace to see ourselves like He sees us.

“If you are who you should be you will set the world on fire.” St. Catherine of Siena

I’m praying for you.

My grandmother has the most beautiful things, including china, dishes, candlesticks and lamps. In other words, a lot of beautiful, breakable things. My grandmother also has a lot of grandchildren. These things don’t always go well together.

Myself, as well as other cousins, have on numerous occasions broken one of Grandma’s pieces of glassware. I remember one family party when dinner was just being served up, and I was trying to navigate the crowded food line. Holding my plate, silverware and napkin was just too much for my small hands. I felt it slipping but didn’t know what to do. The ornate, china plate fell to the tile floor.

You know that split second of silence after something shatters on the ground? It’s in that split second that I caught my breath in shock waiting for the reprimand, gasp or look of disapproval. And in that moment, my grandma had a choice.

She would always, no matter what was broken, say something to the effect of: “That’s ok! Don’t worry!” Immediately, that’s what she said to me. No hesitation. I remember asking her about it later and having her tell me, “What’s done is done and it’s no use being upset over.”

Her reaction had a profound effect on me and I desperately wanted to be like her. By the grace of God I was given the chance last night. We had a young family over for dinner and when the 3 yr. old begged for a small glass cup, I had a sense it wouldn’t end well. Sure enough, she dropped it from the table on to the cement floor. In that tiny second, my grandma crossed my mind and I said as cheerfully as possible, “That’s ok!!” So the toddler knew we weren’t mad at her for the accident.

My first reaction in these situations is not to be patient. I have a temper just as much as anyone else. All I can do is thank God for the grace of that moment that my own temper, stubbornness and impatient reaction shattered along with that cup and it became a moment of victory over “self.”

As we’re trying to become holier people, I think one of the hardest things is to overcome these natural inclinations that we have. It’s the difference between virtue and our fallen, human nature that leans towards sin. You know like how you don’t want to say “hi” to the awkward kid because it’s uncomfortable? But if you did it would be a great act of charity. Or when your little brother is driving you crazy and you want to explode … instead of keeping your cool and being patient.

These opportunities for virtue can seem like such little things. It’s easy to think they don’t matter. But to God, every little action or sacrifice matters.

You know that split-second of silence after something shatters on the floor? We face that moment of silence, that split-second choice between virtue and sin lots of times throughout the day.

All I can do is pray for grace in those little moments. I don’t want to think about myself all the time and how I feel – mad, annoyed, grumpy, etc. It’s a good thing we have such an awesome example in the saints to look up to. Everyday it was the little choices that got them closer and closer to heaven. I still have a long way to go – a lot more broken cups to not get mad about.

I hope nothing breaks for you today – but if it does – I also hope you think of this and are able to choose virtue.

I’m praying for you.

So, school’s letting out for most of you but this isn’t a time to put your brain on ice; it’s a time to let God set your soul on fire in new ways. This is a great time to grow in your spiritual maturity before your next semester begins. Summertime offers a unique opportunity for spiritual growth – a time when you are given ample time to pray, reflect, grow and improve. Even after the last final is completed and the final graduation cap thrown into the air, the learning process shouldn’t end.

While grades and classes are probably the furthest thing from many of your minds right now – I wanted to share a quick story with you about a turning point from my high school years…

Just passing isn’t good enough

A large, red “B-” was scribbled atop the term paper that sat on the passenger seat next to me. As I pulled into the driveway of my house, terror gripped me. My parents, who expected an “A” every time, sat eating dinner. I knew full well that I was capable of an “A” but – in all honesty – I hadn’t really applied myself. The problem was, my parents also knew I was capable of the “A.” Being good parents, they never wanted me to settle for less than I could be. So the entire drive home was an interior monologue where I ran down a litany of excuses I would offer them to cover up the reality of academic laziness.

“The average grade in the class was a C minus.” I offered to my parents as I handed them my paper. “There weren’t any A’s given in the whole class. So with the curve, it’s like I got an A.” I said, justifying my grade not only to them, but also to myself.

They nodded their heads in suspicious agreement. Not much more was said, but their looks spoke volumes. They were not disappointed in the “B-,” but in their son whom they knew had not completely applied himself. “As long as you did your best,” they replied. It was as though I could feel my heart being ripped from my chest in their gentle tone and seemingly reassuring nods. I may have dodged the bullet on my grade, but it cost me something I desired and cherished even more – the respect and approval of my parents.

No, I hadn’t done my best on that paper, and thank God for the grading curve in that class. (What I actually mean is, “Thank God for a classroom filled with other unmotivated teenagers that surrounded me at the time.” But let’s not digress.) The lack of interest in my classmates made my own laziness less apparent. A “B-” was good enough – it was still better than the most of the class. At least, it was until this particular night.

All of the sudden, the normal excuse had worn thin. I realized that I had used it too many times. My parents were not buying it anymore. I could do better. I knew it. They knew it. All I had to do was admit it. It wasn’t enough to recognize that I wasn’t living up to my potential. I actually had to discipline myself and do the work. I needed to start giving my best effort, every time.

Sadly, I had often approached God in the same way.

Growing in Spiritual Maturity

When I began my faith journey, I was constantly comparing myself to my peers. It’s like I was walking into God’s kitchen, shaking as I showed my Heavenly Father my report card. I tried to justify all of my sins. I measured my holiness by the sin of others instead of the holiness of God. I turned down the ability for greatness that His grace offered me. I settled for being “better than most” rather than all that He called me to be. I didn’t want to do the work. I eased into a spirit of contentment and lived a spiritual life that was “good enough.” Others praised me for my “B” effort in my faith, especially since so many kids my age were so much worse. But I knew I could be better, and I knew that God knew it, too.

Consider what Jesus said: “I have given you a model to follow, so that as I have done for you, you should also do.” –John 13:15

Verses like this one cut right through the excuses we offer the world for the sin and selfishness we allow in our lives. Jesus could not put it more simply. Here He gives us a window into the Father’s heart. He’s saying, “I give my everything, every time. You should too.”

God the Father knows what we’re capable of – He created us. He wants us to realize and become all that we can be through the power of the Holy Spirit—not just settle for all that we currently are.

Picture it this way: your report card is hanging on God’s heavenly refrigerator. Only the two of you know if you’ve done your best. The good news is that a minus becomes a plus the minute you pray. The better news is that God gives you the grace necessary to become a saint…if you’re willing to live for the “A” every day.

Identify those areas in your life that you can be slothful (spiritually lazy). Brainstorm ideas on how you can improve and grow in holiness. What are some ways you can let the Holy Spirit unleash new layers of greatness from within you? Write them out. Share them with people you know and trust will hold you accountable. Raise your spiritual bar and keep it high.

And know this – in destroying “the curve” for the other souls in your life, you are actually helping them grow closer to Christ. God can do more with your example than you can. Embrace humility. Seek holiness. Give your best because He deserves it, every time.

God does grade on a curve…but it’s shaped like a cross.

Editor’s Note: Before we break open this topic let me first say this: This is a tough issue. Many of you reading this are dealing or have dealt with pornography in some way. Many of you feel alone and ashamed because of your use. I want you to know that you are not alone and you are stronger than you’ve been lead to believe. You have a God who loves you and offers you hope and freedom. Before you read any further, take a minute to pray for anyone who feels trapped by the bonds of pornography. Your prayers matter and can make a difference.

Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Internet sales alone reach over $5 billion per year. More than half of its viewers online are men (72%), but in recent years more and more women are viewing pornography (28%). Pornography is everywhere and easily accessible to anyone of any age at any time. With a culture that has become obsessed with self-gratification and instantaneous satisfaction, it is no surprise that the pornography industry continues to make money. But, what are they really selling?

The people who write, produce, make, and sell porn understand the desire for pleasure, fantasy, adventure, and love. At the heart of pornography is the message that you can feel good about yourself and fulfill all your needs and desires through pleasure.

The pornography industry is trying to sell a counterfeit sense of love as an authentic sense of love. Real love is committed. It holds true in tough situations. It is not based on fantasy or pleasure. Real love allows us to feel things like true joy and even pain. Real love has at the center the best possible good of another person. It is directed towards another person, not to ourselves. Pornography, on the other hand, allows us to escape reality and indulge in what feels good at the moment. It numbs us to all other feelings and gives a false sense of self-satisfaction and acceptance. In short, the pornography industry is trying to sell love—lying, fake, unsatisfying, and selfish love. This is the lie of pornography.

Nothing about pornography is real. The actors, the stories, and the settings—it’s all fake. Porn is created to stir up strong emotions of satisfaction, pleasure, and adventure that are not based in any sort of reality. It is all based on the fantasy of the viewer.

What porn does is it creates a temporary escape from reality. Many people turn to porn for different reasons: a lack of self-confidence, the desire to be needed, to escape a tough situation, a desire to feel happy, and often times boredom. This temporary escape is just that—temporary. Once all the pleasure fades the person is still left searching for what is truly going to fulfill and satisfy their desire to be loved.

Click on the image above for more articles about love.

One of the key ways to overcome the temptation of pornography is the virtue of self-control or self-mastery. This virtue, especially when it comes to pornography, is not about trying to prove that you are stronger than the temptation. It is about recognizing why you are feeling tempted. Many men and women who work at self-mastery find that temptation comes when they are most vulnerable. Feelings of stress, loneliness, disrespect, or shame can often trigger temptation. When we can recognize these feelings, we can stop and ask ourselves what it is we are really looking for. Most of the time the answer is love.

Real love is found in the heart of the Father. When we immerse ourselves in this real love given to us by God our Father, we are able to know when we encounter fake love. Authentic love will never come from pleasure. Our Father offers us a love that transcends our sin and shortcomings. His love perfects our imperfections. It endures even when we reject. It gives us strength when we are weak. When we seek love, this is what we are looking for. This is the love that never fails.

It is my deepest hope and prayer that we could know and live with the confidence that God’s grace is more than enough for us. Let us join together in praying for the destruction of the pornography industry and all attacks on human dignity and true love.

“Attack comes with fatigue, distractions, temptations. Morality and virtue are stressed and tested. This war is about how you defend yourself. No guns or bombs, but true armor.”

“You will be attacked. Your faith will be tested. Make no mistake, the enemy knows you and has tailored a war just for you. The armor of God will defend your dignity, protect your soul, fight for truth.”

“Our God reigns! He has won the war over evil. Our victory is in Him!”