I have to recognize my humanness and be vigilant. There’s a spiritual battlefield happening around me (and a selfishness in my own heart still) with an enemy wanting to tear me down, especially in this time of engagement and preparation for marriage. I’m thankful that the Lord rooted this out of me; I would never want to bring this evil into my marriage. But I also understand the struggle and the humility I’ve learned in passing through what will likely be the major battle of our generation, and the battle our sons and daughters will all have to face.
For a while, though, I lost hope in a happy ending to my story. I thought I was “tainted” or “damaged goods.” I didn’t know Jackie was coming (if I had, I would never have left my room!). She’s been saving herself for marriage, and I had to confess to her that I didn’t. I messed up. But the way that Jackie loves me — in such a pure, disinterested, and benevolent way — has brought so much healing. She told me one night that she doesn’t want the “Bobby of 2007” or the “Bobby of 2010;” she wants the “Bobby of now.”
No, I don’t have some incurable alien disease that causes people to shutter at the sight of me. No, I don’t have the sex drive of a grandma (unless it’s my grandma who had 11 kids). And, no, I’m not Tim Tebow’s girlfriend.
I want a love that’s strong enough to wait for marriage and commitment. Someone who wants what’s best for me and my body. I’m not looking for someone who’s okay with me chemically altering my body for the sake of pleasure without consequences.
I want the consequences – but I want them in marriage where they’re supposed to be. I want to feel bonded to another person, body and soul (Genesis 2:24). I want to be faithful to one person and give myself fully, freely, and allow that to bear the fruit of children.
Women, you deserve so much better. You deserve to be honored and treasured as living, breathing miracles that reveal God to the world in a way that men never could. Scripture says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and your bodies reflect God’s glory and his life-giving power in such an amazing way (1 Corinthians 6:19).
But we live in a world that doesn’t really get that.
A world where people sing songs about how they’re perfectly good at being “bad” and radio edits of songs switch “love” in for the “f” word like there’s no difference. Society has taken something sacred, designed by God to unite couples in the Sacrament of Marriage and cooperate in bringing new life into the world — and categorized it as just another extracurricular activity.
I’ll never forget what happened at about 2:05pm on April 14. In front of my family, friends, and God, I swore in church. And then the girl standing next to me swore. It wasn’t inappropriate. It wasn’t bad; it was actually a good thing.
We swore that we would love each other faithfully for the rest of our lives and we begged God to seal and strengthen our commitment. We were so excited to get married, but we knew that the sacrament wasn’t just about us.
This promise – to only say what you mean with your body – is what chastity rings signify. Normally they are worn by those who plan on getting married and are currently striving to live a chaste single life.
Chastity rings are traditionally worn on the ring finger of the left hand, holding the place for the wedding ring they will receive from their future spouse.
God is one creative Creator. He gave us the cosmos, the sun, the moon, and the stars. He gave us the mountains and the seas, volcanoes and icebergs, tropical rainforests and sand-covered beaches. He gave us the humpback whale, the platypus, the giraffe and the dragonfly. God also gave us humanity. God created us male and female – beautifully distinct and wonderfully made in His divine image. God created marriage and God created sex.
I decided to ask one of these teens at the pool what she thought of the book, and she turned bright red when I interrupted her. She even admitted to being embarrassed because I interrupted her at “a really naughty part.” When we talked about it, she said that she knew the sex scenes were “a little much” but didn’t see anything wrong with it. “After all,” she said, “It’s not like I’m sitting here at the pool making out with my boyfriend while I read.”
At a conference for High School journalists, Dan Savage gave a talk that was supposed to be about anti-bullying. Instead it was anti-Christian. As he began to talk about the “bullish*t” of what can be found in the Bible, many Christian students stood up and walked out on him – a move he later called “pansy-assed.” Here’s the video. It’s about three minutes, but be forewarned there is some swearing going on in it (not suitable if kids are nearby). The video has gone viral since Read more [...]
“Some of you may be tempted to take flight from responsibility: in the fantasy worlds of alcohol and drugs, in shortlived sexual relationships without commitment to marriage and family, in indifference, in cynicism and even in violence. Put yourselves on guard against the fraud of a world that wants to exploit or misdirect your energetic and powerful search for happiness and meaning. But do not avoid the search for the true answers to the questions that confront you. Do not be afraid!” – John Paul Read more [...]
What it is. If infatuation is all about the heart, then obsession is all about the head. Obsession is the domination of one’s thoughts or feelings by a persistent fantasy. Where you see it. Teen girls have always enjoyed obsessing over celebrities and entertainers. Right now it’s Justin Bieber, soon it will be someone else. Regardless of who is at the center of the obsession, it’s always the same thing: buying all of his stuff, going to all the concerts, talking about him with friends. Read more [...]
Pornography is a multi-billion dollar industry. Internet sales alone reach over $5 billion per year. More than half of its viewers online are men (72%), but in recent years more and more women are viewing pornography (28%). Pornography is everywhere and easily accessible to anyone of any age at any time. With a culture that has become obsessed with self-gratification and instantaneous satisfaction, it is no surprise that the pornography industry continues to make money. But, what are they really selling?
What it is. Infatuation is temporary, all-absorbing crush or passion. Where you see it. Most chick flicks are about infatuation because it’s packed with emotion and romance without any of the “ordinary” parts of life to slow down the plot. Many websites and magazines for teen girls routinely talk about “love” when they’re really talking about “infatuation.”
Introduction This month on LifeTeen.com we’re writing all about love. We want to figure out the difference between luv, something that’s shallow, and love, the thing that is deep and profound. So in this 5-part blog series, I’m going to talk about the things that at times might look and feel like love, but are in fact just a counterfeit. Here’s what I’ll cover: Part I: Lust Part II: Infatuation Part III: Obsession Part IV: Co-dependence Part V: Abuse and Manipulation You’ll want to read this Read more [...]
Crash diets don’t work. If a woman loves donuts or a man loves buffalo wings, they have the choice: control their flesh or schedule the angioplasty. Simply eliminating the temptation isn’t enough; the body must be retrained and self-control must come into play. The same is true in the battle for purity.
On The Mix, we try to bring you a little bit of everything (which is why it’s called ‘The Mix’), and this week it’s something extra special. Over the summer, blogger Christina Mead put together an audio story about the pressure teens face about sexuality, and the culture that’s taken teen moms and turned them into celebrities.