I have read a few articles and Q&A’s in lifeteen.com (such as “If you love me… lead me to Christ”), which a number of them mentioned the struggles with falling into temptation and getting more physical in dating relationships. My question is this, regarding to physical intimacy, how much is too much? How far is too far?
Yes, as you grow up, many of your friends will reject truth. You can’t control that. They will make bad decisions, especially with their bodies, and blame the “moment” or drunkenness or “freedom.” All are lies to make themselves feel better. They will sacrifice their bodies and dignity on altars of conformity and public opinion. Don’t be like them. Pray for them. Love them – but don’t emulate them. They are seeking a love that you already have and know – a love from the Father. Exemplify that love by the way that you love and respect yourself.
In some places, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Boys and girls used to be total opposites, gross even, and now they suddenly look a little more interesting… And when they start to pair off, I know that it can be tough to be left behind on that. It would be totally awesome if someone that you liked also thought that you were cute, funny, smart, and interesting — but let me ask you a question: Would you rather have the tennis courts or the front porch? Please, don’t waste your first kiss.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.
…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
Q: I was wondering if you have any advice for guys trying to remain pure. I know a lot of my friends and I have struggled in relationships because we found it so hard to remain pure with all of the pressure around us.
A: Thanks for the email, and I want to affirm you for pursuing purity. Here are a few tips that come to mind:
Of course, you should continue to pray at all times, but especially before you go on a date or spend time with your boyfriend. Pray that you will make good decisions. Ask for the wisdom, courage, and prudence to avoid temptation and the situations where it lingers. Whether that means you’ll leave the place you find yourself in, surround yourself by others, or end the date early.
These promises changed my life. Don’t rationalize or make excuses for yourself. Push yourself a bit, work a little longer, sacrifice something else, persist, and persevere! Following through on these promises will not only bring you joy, but freedom to live the life God is calling you to!
I’m still not exactly sure why I started writing them. I wish I could say that I had some noble, romantic reason, but that would be a lie. It was more like a combination of frustration and distraction. One night, I was trying to pray before I went to bed. I was really struggling with […]
For a while, though, I lost hope in a happy ending to my story. I thought I was 'tainted' or 'damaged goods.' I didn't know Jackie was coming (if I had, I would never have left my room!). She's been saving herself for marriage, and I had to confess to her that I didn't. I messed up. But the way that Jackie loves me ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù in such a pure, disinterested, and benevolent way ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù has brought so much healing. She told me one night that she doesn't want the 'Bobby of 2007' or the 'Bobby of 2010;' she wants the 'Bobby of now.'
I'm 29 and a virgin.
No, I don't have some incurable alien disease that causes people to shutter at the sight of me. No, I don't have the sex drive of a grandma (unless it's my grandma who had 11 kids). And, no, I'm not Tim Tebow's girlfriend.
I want a love that's strong enough to wait for marriage and commitment. Someone who wants what's best for me and my body. I'm not looking for someone who's okay with me chemically altering my body for the sake of pleasure without consequences.
I want the consequences – but I want them in marriage where they're supposed to be. I want to feel bonded to another person, body and soul (Genesis 2:24). I want to be faithful to one person and give myself fully, freely, and allow that to bear the fruit of children.
Women, you deserve so much better. You deserve to be honored and treasured as living, breathing miracles that reveal God to the world in a way that men never could. Scripture says that our bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, and your bodies reflect God's glory and his life-giving power in such an amazing way (1 Corinthians 6:19).
The day I saw those two lines indicating a positive result, my whole world completely turned upside down. I was living every young girl's worst nightmare. I was pregnant. At the time I found out I was pregnant, I was single, alone, and afraid. I literally felt I had no one to turn to. The weight of my own embarrassment, shame, self-hatred, and loss of self-worth was too much to bear and I never told a single soul I was pregnant and scheduled an abortion even though I knew to my very core it was wrong.
It's common knowledge that hormonal contraception is detrimental to a woman's physical health, but there's little discussion regarding how the same drugs affect the health of her romantic relationships. Hormonal contraception changes a woman's romantic chemistry. How?
I was off the pill for about three months when my cycles went crazy again (because the pill doesn't cure anything, just masks it), and this time the pain was unbearable. I went racing back to my miracle pill for the next few years.
In our junior year of college, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. I of course said yes! I had only been waiting three and a half years! We set the date for two weeks after graduation – a year-and-a-half engagement (a.k.a. forever).
Near the end of eternity we went to our pre-cana (pre-marriage) class. When the subject of birth control came up, I clammed up. I didn't want to hear what they had to say. I had medical reasons for being on the pill. I wasn't hurting anyone by being on the pill, and we were so not ready for kids.
Recently, you might have been feeling lucky to be alive upon waking up on December 22nd … the day after the supposed Mayan Apocalypse of December 21st, 2012.
Just as in Marriage spouses give themselves fully to each other ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù spirit and body ‘Ìâ‰âÂÌâ‰Ûù so a priest gives himself to the service of Christ for the Church. Imagine trying to give yourself fully to an entire parish and have a family to take care of! You'd have to make sure your family has food on the table and a roof over their heads and are spiritually and emotionally taken care of.