Two weeks ago, I woke up to no less than nine sticky notes posted in the bathroom. Each of them, brightly colored, framed the mirror above my sink. It took me a moment to realize they were even there (I am not a morning person) and another couple of minutes to take in the messages […]
This one’s for all you ladies — I have a hunch some of you can relate to an experience of mine… Once upon a time, I kinda had a crush on a boy. And once upon a time, said boy kinda didn’t necessarily have a crush on me. And so I wallowed in my sadness […]
When a man loves a woman he doesn’t just say it. He proves it. I want you to know future husband that I pray for you everyday. It’s very hard for me to be a godly woman in this society, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is for you to be a godly man in this society. When I pray for you I ask that Jesus will help you become the man of God that he has created you to be, then I pray that your guardian angel will protect your eyes, ears, mouth from sin and anything that might dim the luster of your heart that must mirror only Christ-like purity.
So you’ve decided you’re not going to have sex until you get married. You’ve heard the reasons and agree with God’s plan for your body and soul. Good call. However, unless you live under a rock, you know that this is an easy decision to make and a much more challenging one to keep. Dating, […]
For the longest time in my faith journey, I hardly touched a Bible. I heard it proclaimed at Mass and I knew all the stories from religion class, but I only used it for the good ‘ole “close your eyes and flip to a random page to see a message from God” technique. Needless to […]
Q: I know I should break up with my boyfriend, but we’ve broken up before and gotten back together. I feel like our relationship isn’t the best for me, but I really care about him. What should I do? A: I understand that you care for your boyfriend. Breaking up with someone does not mean […]
You talk a lot about how a man should treat a woman. What I never hear though is how a woman can accept that. I really struggle with feeling like I don’t deserve to be treated with respect and I’m worthless, so it always feels awkward for me to let a guy be a gentleman. I don’t know what I should do about it. Do you have any advice?
Knowing that God loves you just as you are allows you to be yourself on a date. Since you are loved by Him, there’s no need to question whether or not you are lovable. Knowing that you were uniquely created, with your own beauty and mystery, will help you “guard your heart” and not feel like you have to share every detail of your life early in the dating process. Knowing that God wants us to love others will guide you to be respectful and thoughtful on a date.
Saint John Paul II wrote “It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman.” If you can keep this in mind, you’ll never have a bad date.
This doesn’t mean you’ll never have an awkward date or that every first date will lead to a second date. Trust me. One of my dates involved me getting sick in the middle of a restaurant called “Thai-Tanic.” The date was about as successful as the ship they named the restaurant after.
Q: How do you keep your marriage and faith related? In other words, what things do you and your husband (Brian) do every day to lead each other closer to Christ?
Secondly, it’s false. She says men have two options: 1) look at porn, or 2) look at you.
And by “look at you,” I assume she doesn’t mean, “look at you while you’re praying the rosary on your evening walk together.”
No, she means either a guy will lust over you or someone else. It’s like saying, “either your boyfriend will be obese or he’ll be anorexic.” Isn’t there a third option? Like, maybe he’ll be healthy? And there is such a thing as sexual health, we call it chastity. Though chastity may conjure up images of either uncomfortable belts or the notion of repressing sexuality in the name of “abstinence”… chastity is neither of these things but so much more.
Q: I’ve noticed that every time I meet a new guy, and we start to become friends, I instantly start looking at our relationship as a potential “more than friends” kind of relationship. Sometimes I take it as far as imagining what life would be like if I did marry that person. I’m not sure how to get out of this. I want to be friends with guys.
When the main characters shift in my life, I often find myself scrambling to justify my “right” to be the main character. I find a way that I am “more than” someone else — more interesting, more stressed, more Christ-like, more anything. I find ways to make myself the center again. This mentality is so easy to get caught up in. I spend so much time justifying my “right,” I forget that we all have the fire of a main character in us. My perception of others is all in relation to the false, puffed up version of myself.
If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I’d wonder if Jim was asking me to marry him because he’d gotten used to having me around. I’d wonder if I had said “yes” because I was afraid of being alone and having to open jars by myself. But when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my mind that we’re freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates who had learned to put up with each other, but as two people that have freely chosen to love each other.
We NEED to give Him the shame. We need to give Him the relationships that we totally messed up in. We need to give Him the part of us that feels empty, that doubts. We need to give Him the guilt we carry on our backs. We need to give him the dumb things we’ve said that continue to haunt us. He wants it, He wants all of us… He wants you.
Yes, as you grow up, many of your friends will reject truth. You can’t control that. They will make bad decisions, especially with their bodies, and blame the “moment” or drunkenness or “freedom.” All are lies to make themselves feel better. They will sacrifice their bodies and dignity on altars of conformity and public opinion. Don’t be like them. Pray for them. Love them – but don’t emulate them. They are seeking a love that you already have and know – a love from the Father. Exemplify that love by the way that you love and respect yourself.
In my life, I struggled with the same fear. I couldn’t seem to stay in a relationship because I would freak out and back away from the girl in fear that I would eventually get hurt. When I finally met my wife, it wasn’t that my fears had disappeared, but my desire to pursue a relationship with Courtney was greater than my fears of being hurt.
Somewhere between Missouri and New Mexico, I was deep into one of these jam sessions when the song “Forever Until Tomorrow” by MKTO (musical duo consisting of Malcolm Kelley and Tony Oller) came on the station. As soon as I heard the song, I stopped jamming and started thinking because I was really confused by the first lines of the song:
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.
Q: My boyfriend and I are moving away to college next semester, except he’s going to be over 3 hours away now. I was wondering do you have any advice or tips on how to keep a strong God centered relationship going, even through there will be a distance between us? Is it even healthy to have a relationship like this? I would really appreciate some help to this subject.