My image of God the Father, enthroned in heaven in flowing white robes and Birkenstock sandals, was overshadowed by my certainty that he didn't want me to have any fun. Not only was God all about rules, he'd drop anybody that strayed off his path. Parochial school should have taught me how to live but instead I learned how not to die and burn. The result was that I treated Moses' Commandments with the same reverence I reserved for one of Letterman's 'Top Ten' lists.
I was just thinking about mothers and how much I love the moments when I’m able to call my mom and just tell her how I feel . . . she's so good at listening to me. I love my mom and couldn't be more happy with having a mother who does everything she can to be a good mother. She doesn't even know how great she is.
There's a hole in the side of my parents bathtub and it's all my fault.
I was 11 years old. We had only lived in our newly built house for 2 years. On this particular evening my siblings and I were getting ready to go to a square dance. Yes, I just said square dance. Leave me alone. It was cool.