Q: I’m about to graduate from college and I’m still single. A lot of my friends are in serious relationships or getting engaged. I’m scared I’m going to have a hard time finding someone to marry once I’m out of school. Do you have any advice? A: My biggest piece of advice is continue to […]
There are five specific dangerous diseases that have taken hold of our generation’s structure of the common dating relationship, abusively remodeling it’s makeup, just as I violently shake and squeeze the Hershey’s bottle when it’s down to the last drops because someone abused the basic human right of chocolate syrup. I have experienced each of […]
I’ve got to hand it to you guys: you are so, so creative. I have a lot of friends who are teens, since I work with teens full-time and volunteer at my parish’s youth ministry. And I love watching my newsfeeds blow up with these crazy, over-the-top “promposals.” You know, where you cover a person’s […]
Q: If I am called to marriage, how do I know that, if I wait with trust and patience for a true gentleman to pursue me the way I deserve, God will send me someone? What if the person God has intended for me to marry is actually a less mature “diamond in the rough”? […]
I don’t believe in soulmates. I’m serious. And no, these aren’t just the bitter words of an unmarried woman. Trust me, I can’t wait to get married, but I’m not waiting around for “my soulmate.” But Michelle, what about all those movies where the girl and they guy find “the one?” The Lie Honestly, I […]
When a man loves a woman he doesn’t just say it. He proves it. I want you to know future husband that I pray for you everyday. It’s very hard for me to be a godly woman in this society, I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it is for you to be a godly man in this society. When I pray for you I ask that Jesus will help you become the man of God that he has created you to be, then I pray that your guardian angel will protect your eyes, ears, mouth from sin and anything that might dim the luster of your heart that must mirror only Christ-like purity.
So you’ve decided you’re not going to have sex until you get married. You’ve heard the reasons and agree with God’s plan for your body and soul. Good call. However, unless you live under a rock, you know that this is an easy decision to make and a much more challenging one to keep. Dating, […]
Before I met my husband Brian, I dated guys all over the faith-spectrum – from Catholic gone atheist, to non-practicing Protestant, to Catholic-ish, to Evangelical, and some in between. During this time I realized how much faith affects our life, from the little things (the sign of the cross before meals) to the big things (sex before marriage).
You talk a lot about how a man should treat a woman. What I never hear though is how a woman can accept that. I really struggle with feeling like I don’t deserve to be treated with respect and I’m worthless, so it always feels awkward for me to let a guy be a gentleman. I don’t know what I should do about it. Do you have any advice?
Knowing that God loves you just as you are allows you to be yourself on a date. Since you are loved by Him, there’s no need to question whether or not you are lovable. Knowing that you were uniquely created, with your own beauty and mystery, will help you “guard your heart” and not feel like you have to share every detail of your life early in the dating process. Knowing that God wants us to love others will guide you to be respectful and thoughtful on a date.
Saint John Paul II wrote “It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman.” If you can keep this in mind, you’ll never have a bad date.
This doesn’t mean you’ll never have an awkward date or that every first date will lead to a second date. Trust me. One of my dates involved me getting sick in the middle of a restaurant called “Thai-Tanic.” The date was about as successful as the ship they named the restaurant after.
Q: How do you keep your marriage and faith related? In other words, what things do you and your husband (Brian) do every day to lead each other closer to Christ?
Q: I’ve noticed that every time I meet a new guy, and we start to become friends, I instantly start looking at our relationship as a potential “more than friends” kind of relationship. Sometimes I take it as far as imagining what life would be like if I did marry that person. I’m not sure how to get out of this. I want to be friends with guys.
If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I’d wonder if Jim was asking me to marry him because he’d gotten used to having me around. I’d wonder if I had said “yes” because I was afraid of being alone and having to open jars by myself. But when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my mind that we’re freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates who had learned to put up with each other, but as two people that have freely chosen to love each other.
I have read a few articles and Q&A’s in lifeteen.com (such as “If you love me… lead me to Christ”), which a number of them mentioned the struggles with falling into temptation and getting more physical in dating relationships. My question is this, regarding to physical intimacy, how much is too much? How far is too far?
Choosing to center your relationship on Christ is going to bring you the most peace and lasting happiness. I’m glad that you want more for yourself than to settle for falling into a pattern of sin.
Sometimes we, as Catholics, think going to Confession and promising it (our sin) won’t happen again will magically give us the power to stop sinning. While Confession is a great start, it is just that – a starting place. God gives us grace to continue moving forward, He offers us help to avoid sin, and we have to do our part to follow His path to holiness.
In some places, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Boys and girls used to be total opposites, gross even, and now they suddenly look a little more interesting… And when they start to pair off, I know that it can be tough to be left behind on that. It would be totally awesome if someone that you liked also thought that you were cute, funny, smart, and interesting — but let me ask you a question: Would you rather have the tennis courts or the front porch? Please, don’t waste your first kiss.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
In my life, I struggled with the same fear. I couldn’t seem to stay in a relationship because I would freak out and back away from the girl in fear that I would eventually get hurt. When I finally met my wife, it wasn’t that my fears had disappeared, but my desire to pursue a relationship with Courtney was greater than my fears of being hurt.
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.