You talk a lot about how a man should treat a woman. What I never hear though is how a woman can accept that. I really struggle with feeling like I don’t deserve to be treated with respect and I’m worthless, so it always feels awkward for me to let a guy be a gentleman. I don’t know what I should do about it. Do you have any advice?
Knowing that God loves you just as you are allows you to be yourself on a date. Since you are loved by Him, there’s no need to question whether or not you are lovable. Knowing that you were uniquely created, with your own beauty and mystery, will help you “guard your heart” and not feel like you have to share every detail of your life early in the dating process. Knowing that God wants us to love others will guide you to be respectful and thoughtful on a date.
Saint John Paul II wrote “It is the duty of every man to uphold the dignity of every woman.” If you can keep this in mind, you’ll never have a bad date.
This doesn’t mean you’ll never have an awkward date or that every first date will lead to a second date. Trust me. One of my dates involved me getting sick in the middle of a restaurant called “Thai-Tanic.” The date was about as successful as the ship they named the restaurant after.
Q: How do you keep your marriage and faith related? In other words, what things do you and your husband (Brian) do every day to lead each other closer to Christ?
Q: I’ve noticed that every time I meet a new guy, and we start to become friends, I instantly start looking at our relationship as a potential “more than friends” kind of relationship. Sometimes I take it as far as imagining what life would be like if I did marry that person. I’m not sure how to get out of this. I want to be friends with guys.
If we had already been living together, in the back of my mind I’d wonder if Jim was asking me to marry him because he’d gotten used to having me around. I’d wonder if I had said “yes” because I was afraid of being alone and having to open jars by myself. But when I walk down the aisle, there will be no doubt in my mind that we’re freely choosing marriage not because we had settled in as roommates who had learned to put up with each other, but as two people that have freely chosen to love each other.
I have read a few articles and Q&A’s in lifeteen.com (such as “If you love me… lead me to Christ”), which a number of them mentioned the struggles with falling into temptation and getting more physical in dating relationships. My question is this, regarding to physical intimacy, how much is too much? How far is too far?
Choosing to center your relationship on Christ is going to bring you the most peace and lasting happiness. I’m glad that you want more for yourself than to settle for falling into a pattern of sin.
Sometimes we, as Catholics, think going to Confession and promising it (our sin) won’t happen again will magically give us the power to stop sinning. While Confession is a great start, it is just that – a starting place. God gives us grace to continue moving forward, He offers us help to avoid sin, and we have to do our part to follow His path to holiness.
In some places, the pressure to date is ridiculous. Boys and girls used to be total opposites, gross even, and now they suddenly look a little more interesting… And when they start to pair off, I know that it can be tough to be left behind on that. It would be totally awesome if someone that you liked also thought that you were cute, funny, smart, and interesting — but let me ask you a question: Would you rather have the tennis courts or the front porch? Please, don’t waste your first kiss.
Q: Lately all of my friends have been having sex. I made a vow to wait until marriage, but how do I keep my vow when I’m around them and peer pressure is at its highest?
A: I’m so glad you’ve made a vow to wait until marriage to have sex. It’s a great decision to follow God’s will for your life! When we believe that God wants what’s best for us, we can trust in His commandments (Exodus 20:14).
In my life, I struggled with the same fear. I couldn’t seem to stay in a relationship because I would freak out and back away from the girl in fear that I would eventually get hurt. When I finally met my wife, it wasn’t that my fears had disappeared, but my desire to pursue a relationship with Courtney was greater than my fears of being hurt.
I have great news for you: a good guy already loves you! Your value and your dignity, on your best day or after your worst decision, can be found in looking at a crucifix. Jesus didn’t lay down His life just hoping that humanity would be nicer and more deserving of Him. He loved us, and still loves us, in the middle of our shady pasts and our messy presents.
Q: My boyfriend and I are moving away to college next semester, except he’s going to be over 3 hours away now. I was wondering do you have any advice or tips on how to keep a strong God centered relationship going, even through there will be a distance between us? Is it even healthy to have a relationship like this? I would really appreciate some help to this subject.
…for years I’d given away kisses with very little meaning. Kissing was just the next step when things were going well with a guy. In a way I felt like I had to kiss the guys I really liked because they had earned it and it would prove our relationship was worth something. I realized what I thought was my desire to kiss Brian, was actually a desire to feel close and connected to him.
So was it wrong that I had once had a crush on my friend’s future husband? No, I don’t think so. Having a crush on someone is totally normal. There’s nothing wrong with being attracted to someone else, and it’s good to be drawn to those good characteristics that we notice in them. We’re designed to interact and form relationships with other people. As we spend time with others, it’s totally normal to find ourselves “crushing” on someone because we think he’s really funny or cute or sweet or witty or holy or, worst of all, all of the above!!
Every single day has been perfect… we’ve never had an argument, never disagreed, and never gotten frustrated. Our home is perfect. Our kids are perfect. Our family is a walking Christmas card. No one ever fights, has gas or morning breath or bad hair days. Each morning, servants bring us freshly squeezed orange juice and non-fat, extra foam lattes, whilst animated Disney birds gather on our balcony to whistle us awake. Yes, we are never tired, have no body fat, no wrinkles and my gray hair is highlighting that I pay extra money for at the barbershop.
As I got older, I think it was around 6th grade, when I started really anticipating Valentine’s Day. Why? Maybe because it was the first time I had a huge crush on a guy. I still remember the feeling, the butterflies in my stomach when I saw him… Of course this boy didn’t know I existed… (surprise, surprise). But I would close my eyes and imagine that he was my valentine and I was his. Gross I know, right? Anyway, needless to say I didn’t receive any Valentine’s that year from any boys, except the ones from my daddy and little brothers.
Every year I found myself somewhat disappointed in my Valentine’s Day. I’ve never had a boyfriend or any guy in a position to be my Valentine. But I guess I always thought well maybe this Valentine’s Day will be different. Maybe i’ll have a secret admirer, or a boyfriend (yeah right), etc…
Guys and girls are some of the worlds biggest mysteries… well, to each other anyway. This can make dating pretty complicated. As a guy, I rarely know what the girls in my life are thinking. Classmate, co-worker, sister, friend, girlfriend, mom… it doesn’t matter.
Sometimes I think I understand Calculus better than I understand girls. And umm… I got a D in Calculus.
I remember feeling kind of like a failure when I graduated from college. All five of my siblings married someone that they went to college with, and my last dating relationship had recently ended. I had my bachelor’s degree, but my wife was nowhere to be found. Many of my good friends got married within the first year or two after graduation, and I felt like I was destined to either be single forever or eventually just settle for some less-than-exciting relationship.