Christina Mead

Be Still My Heart… God is Here

I’m being stalked by the love of God. Everywhere I turn I’m confronted with how epic He is and how big His love is for each of us. For Him, it’s “go big or go big”… there is no alternative. Why? Because He is love. Which is exactly what our hearts need.

My heart is fragile

I’m really glad you can’t see inside my mind because I’m scared you might think I’m certifiably insane. I know this is the curse of being creative… but seriously my heart and mind are all over the place. I overthink and overfeel and overcare about everything. My heart is a water faucet of emotions that only twists on and never off.

Once I saw a bird caught inside the airport terminal and I got teary thinking about how it couldn’t get out. That was years ago and it still crosses my mind? No, I didn’t name it. No, I didn’t pray for it. OKAY I did. I’m like a St. Francis/Snow White combination, minus the whole monk or prince charming thing.

I never claimed to be normal. I’m what you call a reverse grinch — my heart is bigger and more sensitive than I can handle.

I’m exhausted by life with it’s neverending changes, trials, and the ups and downs of joys and sorrows. There are days when I’m not even sure I handle one more person asking me for something. Do you ever feel that way?

My God, The Lover

We need something constant in our lives because nothing else is. There’s not one of us that can ever be sure of where our life is going, or who we can trust… but we can know God. He is love. And He wants us.

What if God loved us so much that He couldn’t stand to be a mere observer of our lives? God has never been one to sit back and observe us. He walked with Adam. He talked with Moses. He became a man to be here on earth and in time with us. And in leaving this earth, how can we say He wouldn’t take it one step further? Not a God among us anymore, He wouldn’t leave until He was a God within us.

You see, a lover isn’t content until they’re as close to their beloved as they can be. God is no different. So to accomplish that, He gave us His presence in the Eucharist. You can’t blame God for being distant when His physical presence is as close as your nearest church, and His presence within you can be as soon as the next Mass. He is here… for you and your heart. Can you believe that God is that personal?

Consumed by Love

When the priest says, “the Body of Christ” and you take that host and put it into your mouth, there’s no escaping the reality of what happens next.

Does chewing on God make you uncomfortable? Does having Him inside your body make you uncomfortable? It did for His disciples and He actually lost a lot of them because of this teaching.

Suddenly they didn’t care about the healings and the miracles and the baskets and baskets of free food. They didn’t want anything to do with someone who said, “eat my flesh and drink my blood” (John 6:54).

He’ll do whatever it takes to be your lifeblood. And being broken down and consumed by you is the easiest way to do that. But how often do we not run to Mass when we’re worn out by the world? How often, do we, like those disciples, turn away?

At every Mass we have the opportunity to consume and be consumed by Love and yet we turn away.

Life for My Heart

I think we turn away from Mass and the Eucharist, because we don’t realize that the Eucharist is everything we need. If the Eucharist is God, and we eat that host, it doesn’t just hang out in some “spiritual limbo soul box.”

Do you know what happens when you eat something? It is broken down and the nutrients enter your bloodstream. Then as your blood pulses around your body, and in and out of your heart, the nutrients from the food help your body work properly. It gives you energy, brings healing, and helps your cells to grow and change.

God hid His glory under the appearance of bread and wine so that every week, or even every day, His grace could pulse through your veins. His grace would be in every beat of your heart, bring energy to your body, and healing to your hurts.

That’s what my sensitive heart needs. In the Eucharist my heart has found the answers to my unrest, my distrust, my uncertainty, and my need for love and comfort.

How can I be weary and worn when every cell in my body contains the grace of my living and active God?

This is the body of Christ.

When I hear those words, “This is the body of Christ,” I experience my God, my lover, as one with me.

And not only God, but every person united in Christ is united through the Eucharist. One body within His one body.

This is the Body of Christ. This is His flesh, His blood, His whole being, divinity and all.

This is the most meaningful thing you will do in your whole life.

This is the Body of Christ, take it and annihilate your sinfulness with His holiness.

The peace it brings my heart is unrivaled. Will you allow Him to be your heart’s resting place?

Will you let your lover under the roof of your home, and into your soul? My prayer for you is that at every Mass, when faced with the reality of our Eucharistic God of love, you will open your heart enough to hear His words, “I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me will never hunger, and whoever believes in me will never thirst” (John 6:35).

I’m praying for you.

Christina Mead

About the Author

I'm just striving for sainthood through lots of imperfect ways. I daydream about heaven, where I want to be the patron saint of lifeguards. I think I might paint my nails just so I can pick it off. I wrote a book about Mary and what she taught us about being a Catholic girl. It's called "That One Girl" and I think you'd like it! You can email me at [email protected], or follow me on Twitter @LT_Christina.