Q: In your last blog Better Than Kissing, you said you and Brian (your now husband) avoided passionate kissing while dating. If you weren’t kissing, how did you know Brian liked you?
A: Here are some of the things Brian did to show he was interested:
- On our first date, he drove to my apartment. He came to the door. Brought me flowers. Took me out to dinner. Walked me back to my door. And thanked me for a great date.
- He burned a CD with song titles that began with the letters that spelled my name. Capitol City, O Praise Him, Until You, Renaissance, Table for Two….you get the point!
- I was teaching at the elementary school that his nieces went to at the time we were dating. On our first date, I kind of lost my voice. Brian had his niece bring Throat Coat tea to school to help my throat. He added a note that said if the tea helped I had to agree to go on another date!
- We live in a big city, where you often see homeless people on the street. As we were discussing what we could do to help, Brian suggested we invite some of the homeless people we saw to join us for dinner at the food court of the nearby Mall. He paid for all of our meals.
- We went on walks and talked. Sometimes holding hands. Sometimes we prayed a decade of the Rosary as we walked.
- At the end of one date, he walked me to my door and handed me a bag. He told me I could look inside after he left. The bag was filled with 64 little pieces of paper, each with something he liked about me written on each one. Instead of feeling pressure to be physical at the end of the date, I felt respected and appreciated opening and reading each sweet note!
- He flew to Iowa to meet my family and close friends.
- We spent time with our parents, siblings, nieces, and nephews.
- Brian wooed me with his musical talents. He sang and played Somewhere Over the Rainbow on the piano with his nieces. He played the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles theme song for my nephews. He even played a Brittany Spears’ song on the guitar for my 95-year-old grandmother (who really can’t hear, but bopped her head up and down as he played).
- He invited me on his family vacation.
- Brian wrote a song for me entitled, “Ode to the Math Teacher.” He sang and played it for me as we sat on the beach one night.
- He often called me on the phone. We had conversations. He asked me about my day. He asked if there was anything he could pray for me. Occasionally he’d send me a funny text message. But we didn’t have conversations via text. If he wanted to talk to me, he called.
- After he went on a pilgrimage with his parents, he gave me a small photo album with pictures he had taken. He added captions with promises he had for our future (we were engaged at this time).
- Brian sent me flowers. Sometimes he signed his name, but other times he was a bit more creative… One time, he sent the flowers to me at the school where I worked. But instead of signing his name, he signed the name of the main character in the book my fifth graders were currently reading about. My students seemed very impressed that I knew this character!
- He attended the Bible Study I went to.
- We took turns going to each other’s parish events.
- He drove three hours to watch me run a half-marathon. After chasing me around to see me at different mile markers, he was there to see me at the finish line.
- Brian wrote our wedding first dance song. I knew he was composing a song, what I didn’t know was the he and his friend were working on a video the day of our wedding to accompany the song:
Everyone has their own gifts and talents. Some of the things Brian did to win me over had a lot to do with his unique personality. But as a girl you shouldn’t have to wonder what the guy you’re dating thinks of you. Relationships that are based on physical intimacy rob of us the chance to get to know one another for who we really are.
Do you have a question about dating and relationships you’d like to ask Brian and Courtney Kissinger? Email them at [email protected] and your question could be the next blog post!