The way the world looks at dating and the way God wants to write your love story are completely different ideas. When I saw the Bachelorette last season, I realized the show was a perfect example of the way the world orchestrates dating as opposed to God. I’m thinking twice before sitting though this season of The Bachelor, and here’s why.
Imagine falling in love in exotic lands like a fairy tale then ending up with a “prince” – minus the money, fame, and dream destinations. This smack of reality is why most engagements after The Bachelor/Bachelorette don’t last.
It’s easy to fall in “luv” with money; it should be no surprise the participants give a ring at the end to confess that “true” love. Living in the moment isn’t bad… but making a lifelong commitment based off infatuation is.
It’s emotionally addicting.
When we watch shows like this, we start believing the world it creates. We put our hopes and dreams into a fantasy that reality has no chance of fulfilling.
In a lot of ways, this can be compared to the visual fantasy land pornography creates. For girls, we fall in love before we think about physical intimacy; men are visual and physical first. Both addictions take away from the reality God wants to offer you with your spouse. Fantasizing situations both emotionally and sexually becomes a desire reality cannot fulfill.
You don’t just give up your job and life to go on a show and see if some girl likes you… there’s got to be some reward. Do fame, money, and winning a competition sound appealing? Does anyone say no to the rose even if they don’t care for person handing it out? For example, in an earlier season, contestant Frank still liked his ex more than Ali – but lied to stay on show until the end.
In 1 Corinthians 13 it says that love does not seek its own interests, but rejoices in the truth (13:5-6).
The most recent bachelorette, Ali, knew from day one Roberto was the one she wanted to date, but instead of picking him and leaving the rest, she led on the others. At the end of the show, her conscience got to her and she “broke the rules,” letting Chris go before the last “rose ceremony.” Why wasn’t she honest with him before? Drama and suspense = more episodes. More episodes = more money.
There’s no commitment.
This show doesn’t just break the rules of healthy dating; it shows us how we can break our own hearts. We must be careful to not place our happiness in the hands of anyone but God… but that’s exactly what the shows promote. When Ali or Brad went on the show looking for love, the contestants made them the center of attention while competing for their hearts. But since neither of them had to fully commit emotionally to someone until the end, our Bachelor and Bachelorette taught us that it’s okay to date a lot of people at once until we find someone better.
If we put this lesson into practice, not only will we break hearts along the way, we will end up breaking any relationship with the potential of being successful. In a real relationship, we can’t just find someone else when times get tough or ‘unromantic.’ Marriage is a lifelong commitment and the honeymoon stage is momentary. We must pray and find the spouse that will fulfill more than our emotional desires, but will fulfill and match our souls.
Imagining the ‘ultimate’ love story won’t compare to the one God has in mind for you. He knows our inward hearts and will provide romance, love, and true compatibility in our spouses. Don’t be drawn in to the superficial qualities the world tells us will bring happiness; look for the Divine storyline. It beats reality TV any day.