Christina Mead

My Love/Hate Relationship with Pom Poms

I'm definitely going to pull a Jekyll vs. Hyde . . . Beyonce vs. Sasha Fierce right now. What can I say? The Jonas Brothers have that effect on me; our relationship is tumultuous.

I love the song Pom Poms.

And I also strongly dislike it.

It's a multi-flavored mixture of emotions. Don't ask me how this is possible . . . the complexities of the feminine heart have been a mystery for a long time. I think it's mysterious-ness falls right under the mystery of the Trinity.

The Love

I love the song because when I hear the line 'put your pom poms down,' that's repeated over and over, I hear it translated in my heart as 'you're enough as you are.'

This strikes a chord in my heart because not being enough is something I've struggled with. Can you relate to this too?

Have you felt that unrelenting gnawing on the inside of your heart? It's the part of you that's constantly searching for the answer to the question, 'what am I lacking?'. You think you must be lacking something because you're not the most popular, you're not dating, or if you are, you feel like he/she doesn't love you, you don't get perfect grades, you don't always look awesome in photos. And all that was after you got your braces off!

'What's wrong with me?' you ask yourself.

What's wrong with you? Well, you're not good enough . . . so just keep trying.

That's what everything is telling you and I. Pornography says our bodies aren't good enough. Facebook says your social life isn't good enough. Twitter says you're not witty enough. Instagram says you're not pretty enough. Your mom says you're not productive enough.

So we spend money on clothes, energy on excessive workouts, and homework time browsing the internet trying to find the answer to this 'problem' of not being good enough. We enhance and accessorize every aspect of our lives and the parts of us that aren't perfect get hidden under the bed and deleted from Facebook.

But why? Ask any healthy, non-shallow person and they'll tell you the truth about you . . . the truth about humanity. You are imperfect and you're supposed to be. You're attractive because you're unique. You're beautiful without trying.

The negative messages about your worth only have the power that you consent to give them. You don't have to buy into the lie.

The power of femininity is that you have a beauty about you that's deeper than your skin and hair and clothes. It's more than pom poms. People are drawn to you when you're confident in that fact. You don't have to be the 'A' student, the beauty queen, the soccer star, the Regina George, or the cheerleader.

Put your pom poms down. You don't have to prove yourself. Put Your pom poms down. You don't need to accessorize. Put your pom poms down. You are enough as you are. You're beautiful without trying. Put your pom poms down.

The Hate

Cool, right? Where's the room for hate? Oh trust me, doubting Thomas, there's room. While half of me is all gushy with warm-fuzzies over how much we all need to hear that message of self-worth, the other half of me wants to chuck a pom pom at a Jonas.

That wasn't really a joke. Justified anger, people. It's a thing. (Matthew 21:12)

They could have sent that message of 'you are enough' to every girl who listens to the song . . .

Instead they gathered a bunch of young people together, put them in a football field, filmed a music video, and subliminally told every girl that watches it 'you're not good enough unless you have a hot body and you shake and show that that body to the boys.'

Awesome. Thanks. Totally counter-productive to building up a girl's confidence and yet, not surprising. I just outlined all the other outlets that are sending you this message and I didn't exactly expect the Jonas Brothers to be different.

But a girl can hope, right? I can hope that someday, someone other than Dove and Leah Darrow are telling girls they're more than their bodies.

I can dream that men will see women as more than a means to a lust-motivated end. I can pray you'll be appreciated for your intelligence, your heart, your compassion, your warmth, and your soul more than the length of your shorts or you booty-shaking skills.

But for now, one more group of men has disappointed my lofty dream. How about you try again next year Jonas Bro's?

The Take-Away

I'm not saying you shouldn't like this song. I know how catchy and fun it is. I understand the excitement over more music from the Jonas's. Trust me, I get it.

Just don't give in to the message of the video. Instead, allow the lyrics to transform your perception of yourself.

Christianity is about claiming the things of this world for Christ. Our mission is to wade through the crap and find the hidden gems.

Don't let the constant attack on your dignity drown out the truth of the treasure that you are.

Because you are enough.

I'm praying for you.

Christina Mead

About the Author

I'm just striving for sainthood through lots of imperfect ways. I daydream about heaven, where I want to be the patron saint of lifeguards. I think I might paint my nails just so I can pick it off. I wrote a book about Mary and what she taught us about being a Catholic girl. It's called "That One Girl" and I think you'd like it! You can email me at [email protected], or follow me on Twitter @LT_Christina.