Some of y’all might have experienced this with a close loved one. Whether it was sudden or drawn out, it is a terrible experience. After having cried my eyes out, I knew a place where I could go to seek some consolation in this tragedy. I went to the chapel to pray: praying for peace, strength, understanding, God’s will, anything and everything. I felt desperate, like I was drowning and struggling. Like a man crashed upon jagged rocks by a mighty wave. Then I felt like I had to do something. I was on the other side of the country; I felt I had to get home as soon as I could. Disoriented and confused still, I got on a plane to California, still not sure if my prayers would be answered.

I got home, and my mom could finally rest and grieve on her own, and my siblings had their older brother to look to. Christ gave me strength through a situation I would never be prepared for on my own.  Reliance on Christ, and prayer had opened my eyes when I got home. God was able to give my family, friends, and neighbors strength through me. Through a time I thought would be filled with immense sorrow and numerous boxes of tissues, I found joy. It was sad, but my eyes were opened to love: seeing Christ in those around me, seeing his love poured out over my family. To see this love and to be a part of His love was amazing, but it wasn’t me trying to be strong and stoic sucking up all my emotion and locking it down where no one could see it. In fact, it was by being open and vulnerable that Christ lifted me up.

We have a window in our chapel of Jesus holding a lamb. I see it as myself, lost and injured. He picked me up, nursing me, granting me strength. For this to happen, we must run to the Father. By running to Him, I felt His love, and most importantly, I knew my dad could feel it too, so much more than I did.

I want you to feel this love, too. It’s not easy. No, it never is. When we leave the door to our heart open to Christ and the Holy Spirit, the result will truly amaze you. The love God has for you: it’s all you really need. Yea, the food and gifts we received during the funeral process were nice (I mean I LOVE food), but it was nothing in comparison to His love, for love will truly hold us together.

If you are going through something like this, or have before, check out Psalm 42 and pray about it. Think and look back, for tragedy can bring love. Christ wants to bring that love; we have to let Him do it though. He’s a gentleman: He will knock on the door and if we don’t let Him in, He’s not gonna break down the door and flood into your life. Open that door, and find love. I love you, and I’m praying for you all.

I went probably 95% of the game in this spot on defense and had a few ‘ok’ stops, but mostly the other team kicked it around me. It was getting late and the other team was up 4-0. I yelled out “next goal wins,” typically how I like to end games, and everyone sort of nodded their head, laughed, and agreed. We kicked it down field, and I decided to try offense. A few plays went off and the ball went back and forth between teams until finally, the ball was passed to me, right in front of the goal. She shoots, she scores! The crowd went wild! We won the game!

Seriously, I scored! We won! I was just as surprised as you probably are.

I went to prayer the next morning and thought about the game and my winning goal and laughed. Then I thought, “I should really play offense more.”

A lot of my prayer these past few months has been about spiritual warfare and how to be fearless in the face of temptation and evil and to stand firm in God’s grace and love. And I realized all my prayer has been about being on the defense. I have to defend myself against spiritual attack.

I had the image of a huge Braveheart type battle, and I was fighting, but really only defending each blow from the enemy’s sword. I was beaten down and back. I looked defeated. My army had fallen back, and the enemy was pressing forward.

I can’t just be on the defense, otherwise the enemy will attack and attack, and eventually I will run out of strength and supplies. I need to attack. I need to pressure the enemy. I can only defeat him if I attack and take the offensive.

If we stand in the light of our God, nothing can stop us. I love the song “Great I Am” by New Life Worship; if you haven’t heard it, youtube it right now! The bridge goes like this: “the mountains shake before Him, the demons run and flee, at the mention of the name, King of Majesty. There is no power in hell, nor any who can stand before the power and the presence of the Great I Am.”

Wow, what a God we have. He is all power and all might. He does not hide behind a fortress while the enemy showers him with rocks and fire. No: He stamps out evil and destroys death. Evil has no power. The devil has no power. Stand up and fight!

How? We must be praying, living in the Spirit always. We must be praying for others. We must call upon the name of Jesus to be our light and rid us of the darkness. We must run to confession to be in the light. We must run to the Eucharist to receive God himself, who is all strength. Only He Who Is can defeat evil and He can do it through us. Say yes to God. Love Him with all your heart. Live in the light of His presence. Let His Spirit break out through you and stop the evil one before he gets too close.

We must stand up. We must fight. The time is now to throw down your life and declare it for Jesus. There is NO power in hell nor any who can stand, before the POWER and the PRESENCE of the GREAT I AM!

So, a movie came out a while back staring Leonardo Di Caprio called “Blood Diamond.” It was about the corruption in the diamond industry in Africa. In one of the scenes, when Leo’s character meets a young journalist who is trying to get more information to expose this corruption, they get to talking about all the problems, corruption and particularities of Africa, and the response he gives to her is “T.I.A.”

When she asks him what that means, he explains that it means, “This is Africa.” He goes on to explain that the corruption, difficulties, problems and particularities are just the way things are in Africa, and these things don’t phase him as he has just come to accept it, ergo his response of T.I.A.

About two months ago, as Fr. Louis, Michel (Fr. Louis’ brother), Sara, MarcArthur (Haitian missionary), and I were driving to see the Missionaries of Charity we got to talking about the many things that are so . . . Haiti. I remembered that movie, and in particular that scene, and I thought to myself “This is Haiti.”

Now every time something happens that could only happen here or is just normal/expected by Haitian standards, our response is “T.I.H.”

For example:

1. Waking up in the morning and having this conversation like it’s no big deal – Question: “Did you hear the rats last night? They were crazy!” Answer: “Nope, I slept through that this time.” – T.I.H.
2. Driving down the street in your pick up and stopping several times to give rides to strangers along the way, sometimes fitting up to 13 people in the back of the truck. – T.I.H.



3. Kidnapping your neighbor’s cat, cooking it, inviting that same neighbor over for dinner and serving their cat as the meal as a practical joke. This actually happens here, and people think it’s funny. – T.I.H.
4. Using the horn in your car to say “Hello,” “Goodbye,” “Thank you,” “You’re welcome,” “I’m close to your car” “I’m far away from your car” “I am driving on the curve of this mountain and I can’t see if there’s anyone coming on the opposite direction” “Nice to see you again” “I don’t want to see you again” “What are you doing?” “You’re moving too slow,” “You’re moving too fast” “Move!” – really, any phrase you can think of. – T.I.H.
5. Walking down the street and having a little kid scream with a look of fright on his face, “Blan! Blan! Blan! Blan!” (Translation: White!) – T.I.H
6. Finding crabs in the dining room or in your shower. – T.I.H.
7. Having pet goats and chickens, and finding out after dinner that you just ate your pet. – T.I.H
8. Having the beach as your backyard. – T.I.H.



9. Having a group of little kids put together a whole dance & song performance because it’s your birthday. – T.I.H.
10. Having a group of men fight over who gets to eat the goat brains. – T.I.H.

This is Haiti in need.

On a more serious note, there are many things in Haiti that have increased my awareness for the need of mission hearted people to invest in this country:

1. A family of four or more people living in a small hut with a dirt floor that is smaller than our bathroom. – T.I.H.
2. The all-too-frequent smell of burning trash. – T.I.H.
3. Having to fight with hospital staff so a young girl who is in respiratory distress can get oxygen, finally getting them to agree and then having them tell you, you have to pay for the oxygen before they will administer it, all the while this young girl is barely able to breathe. – T.I.H.
4. Meeting three little kids at an orphanage, who were abandoned by their parents because they have physical and mental disabilities. – T.I.H.
5. Hearing the girls that come hang out at the base tell you they are ugly daily, and trying to explain to them that they have worth and beauty. Then having a conversation with one of their moms who tells you in front of her young daughters that Haitian’s are ugly, and then point to one of the kids calling her ugly, explaining to you why their hair, features & skin aren’t good enough. – T.I.H.



6. Realizing that in Haiti, unlike other developing countries I have been too, there aren’t pockets of poverty throughout the country, poverty is all around you. – T.I.H.
7. Witnessing several young kids have negative spiritual manifestations at prayer meetings or church, then finding out their parents had them “baptized” by a voodoo priest when they were babies. – T.I.H.
8. Meeting a 22-year old young man who has some sort of muscular dystrophy, he is about the size of a 6 year old, with several severe contractions on all his limbs, and very malnourished. Finding out his life consists of sitting on the dirt floor of his hut, everyday, without much interaction. All the while thinking if he had access to physical and speech therapy his quality of life would improve greatly, but he doesn’t. – T.I.H.
9. Realizing that several kids in our village don’t have a relationship with their father, because they either abandoned them or have another family elsewhere. – T.I.H.
10. Watching little kids, sometimes as young as 5 or 6 years old, walking several miles up and down the street with huge plastic containers just to get clean water for their homes. – T.I.H.

There is Hope

Being a missionary in Haiti is not easy. There are so many problems, so very many obstacles. Often times it can seem almost impossible for things to get better. I was recently told that Haiti has been called the “missionary graveyard,” after being here a little over 2 months I can see why that phrase came about.

That being said, even if the outlook for Haiti can seem bleak at times, I believe that There is Hope (T.I.H.). There is hope for the people of Haiti because God can bring forth beauty from ashes. There is hope for the people of Haiti because His love is relentless and He does not tire or grow weary, even if we do. There is hope for Haiti because God exists and He is sovereign.

So now, every time we are joking around with our community and we see a funny T.I.H moment happen, I am going to try and make that a prayer and remember that there is hope.

I miss sleeping in my room on Long Island. I haven’t been there since January and I won’t return until half way through August.

I miss hearing my sister’s crazy music blasting from her room.

I miss the air compressor going on and off in my dad’s garage at the wee hours of the morning.

I miss my mom’s cooking.

But all of these things are a sacrifice I’m willing to miss to serve the Lord who laid his life down for the salvation of my soul.

As my time living in the physical place of Covecrest quickly comes to an end and I prepare my heart to serve at Camp Hiawassee during the summer, and then live and serve in Atlanta, God is moving a lot of things around in my heart.

I’m struggling to feel a constant presence of home, and struggling to feel confident in what God is doing. With that, the idea of being a nomad has entered my prayer. I haven’t really moved around a lot, but I do call a lot of different places home. I went to school in Florida for four years, and I call that place home. I served summers at Covecrest and Tepeyac claiming those places as home for weeks. I have friends and family who have welcomed me into their lives and opened up their homes to me. See the struggle?

BUT there is a freedom in the realization that came through prayer and reading through Pope Francis’s first audience. My home is truly in the Lord. My home is where Jesus is. My home is in the Mass, and the Eucharist, and the love of Christ.

“Jesus has no home because his home is in the people, his mission is open to all the doors to God, to be the presence of God’s love”- Pope Francis

Take these words of our Pope and rest in them. Take them to prayer and allow God to penetrate your heart and find rest in HIM.

I think a lot of people agree with me about the beauty of our Church, but I think where our Church gets so much scrutiny is the “rules” or teachings that the Church “imposes” on the faithful. I often hear complaints about how there are so many rules to follow. “The Church is too authoritarian. Why can’t I just do what  I want to do?” or “I love Jesus, why do I have to do what the Church says?”

All of these are fair questions, to which I would respond and paraphrase St. Paul in Eph. 5:25 “Love the Church as Christ loved the Church.” If Christ loved the Church so much that He died for Her, who are we to spurn what She proclaims as meaningless or inconsequential? If we truly love Christ, then we must love the Church, meaning that we must follow what She teaches, without trying to change it into our idea of Christianity. Was it me that Christ entrusted the Keys to the Kingdom or was it Peter (Mt. 16:16-18) that Christ entrusted? Did He give me authority or did He entrust it to the leaders of the Church? The Church! Jesus entrusted Himself to the Church.

Does that mean that I follow or believe everything blindly?

Absolutely not. Some of the teachings of the Church are extremely hard, like the reality of Jesus’ True Presence in the Eucharist. The disciples in chapter 6 of John’s Gospel in the Bread of Life Discourse are evident of this: ‘Then many of his disciples who were listening said, “This saying is hard; who can accept it. [60] As a result of this, many of his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. [66]“‘

Our response must be like the Apostles. ‘Jesus then said to the Twelve, “Do you also want to leave?” Simon Peter answered him, “Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. [67-68]“‘

Many of the teachings and guidelines of the Church are hard, but if we reject the hard ones and only accept the ones that fit our idea of Christianity, then we totally miss the Beauty of our Church. When we do this, when we try to boil down all the teachings and guidelines of the Church and Christ into what we think it should be and reject the authority that Christ gave the Church, then it is no longer Christ’s Church or the Catholic Church but, rather, Chris’s Church or the Church of Me. It’s okay to question and struggle with the teachings of the Church. It’s okay to say I don’t know what this means. Not every part of our faith is a point to be solved and dissected under a microscope. If our God could be “solved” or “figured out,” then He wouldn’t be a very great God, would He?

Only too often do we try to do it on our own, and we completely miss the Beauty of the mystery of our faith and the Beauty of obedience to whom Christ entrusted the Church. Loving Christ means to love the Church, and that means loving all parts of Her.

Did you know that the Easter season lasts for 50 days??

I’m sure I’ve learned that before, but I tend to forget. That means that this year, Easter doesn’t end until May 19th (which is Pentecost)! That seems so far away! Since the Church doesn’t do things without reason, that must mean that Easter is a BIG deal. I mean, what else in life do we get to celebrate for 50 days?!

On Easter this year, I woke up feeling a little extra joy – with a thankful heart, so ready and excited to celebrate Christ’s resurrection and the victory He won for us. As I celebrate this Easter season, I celebrate what God has done for me once and for all in His passion, death, and resurrection, and I also celebrate the victories He continues to work in my life. Our God is not dead, He’s ALIVE! He is alive and working in my life every day. I am not thankful enough for that…

Here are just a few examples of things that I’m celebrating with gratitude as I celebrate Easter this year:

• God calling me to be a missionary – the best life I could imagine
• Community and friends to journey with me through the ups and downs
• Having a family that loves and supports me
• Knowing that God never leaves me and He gives me everything I need

Happy Easter! Keep celebrating!

Comment below or email me and let me know how you will be continuing to celebrate Christ’s resurrection this Easter season – I’d love to hear from you!

While visiting my family in Melbourne, FL for Easter, I was compelled to spend a couple of days serving the hungry at a soup kitchen called The Daily Bread.

I met a woman named Shay who has three children of age 10, 9 and 6.  Shay is working towards becoming a pharmacist.  The Dad is no longer in the picture and she is at risk of losing her kids to the court due to lack of funds to take care of them.  She told me, “Maybe if I can figure out how to be forgiven, then God will hear me and let me keep my kids.”

I responded boldly, affirming God’s endless mercy.  I shared the beauty of the Sacrament of Penance but specifically stressed that she didn’t have to do anything to earn the hearing ear of the Lord.  She seemed to listen and we were able to pray together for her situation.

The next day, I brought back some socks and a football for her kids and she seemed in much better spirits.  Even as she told me about the tons of homework she had to do, there seemed to be a greater sense of hope for her life.  She even told me that she trusts that God will take care of her and her kids no matter what.

My brothers and sisters, we must serve the poor.  We must provide presence to the elderly and widowed.  We must give from our excess and even give from our own necessity.

There are many more like Shay.  I met a 24 year old, Keith who’s trying to make a living waxing cars.  He has a set of twins already whom he doesn’t get to see very often.  Brenda gave birth to a daughter 5 months prematurely.  Brenda is now the grand-mother of 6 beautiful grand-children.  They too eat at the soup kitchen because they can’t afford to provide for their family on their own.

This is the Christian life: to be like Christ, and Christ served those most in need.  He dined with sinners and spent most of his time with the sick, the poor and the suffering.

I invite you to ask yourself, “What gifts has God given me to serve those most in need?” Pray about the Lord’s call in your life.  What’s your mission?

Jesus says, “What you did not do for one of these least ones, you did not do for me.  And these will go off to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life” (Mt 25:45).

Not only that, my friends, but I can testify that true joy was found in my serving at The Daily Bread and every time I step outside of myself to serve Christ found in His poor, sick and suffering sons and daughters. Let’s answer the call of the risen Lord!

One story in scripture that always strikes me is from Acts 3. Peter and John were on their way to the temple for their 3:00 o’clock prayer time (maybe they were praying the Divine Mercy Chaplet!). As they were about to enter the temple, they came across a crippled man begging. Peter and John intently looked at the man and Peter said “I have neither silver nor gold but what I do have I’ll give you. In the name of Jesus Christ the Nazorean rise and walk.” (Acts 3:6)

In our ministry in Haiti, praying over the sick and suffering is almost an everyday thing. And every time we pray over someone I pray that I would have the faith of the apostles to say “In the name of Jesus, get up and walk!” Each and every time I beg the Lord for a miracle. But I have yet to see one like we read about in scripture. Or have I?

Will I ever see a crippled person walk or a dead person come back to life? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I have seen miracles. I have seen people blinded by the darkness of the world, step into the light of Christ and regain their sight. I’ve seen hundreds of hungry people being fed. I’ve witnessed people who were completely oppressed by the devil, delivered. I’ve been blessed to witness many people who at one time did not know God, come to believe and completely give their lives over to the Lord. I’ve seen people healed from illness. And the greatest miracle of all is what happens at each and every Mass. The priest speaks the words of Christ and simple bread and wine become the body and blood of Christ.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that we all see miracles everyday and we should praise God for them. Write them down; remember them. And as far as those things that seem impossible, pray hard and remember nothing is impossible for God.

~ Paul

I was praying my rosary before holy hour the other day and usually I look at the stained glass image of Jesus the Shepherd, or at the Crucifix, or sometimes my eyes wander out the window to watch the sun come up over the mountain and bring the light of day or even I just sit with my eyes closed, but this time I was staring intensely at the Tabernacle. I could not take my eyes off of it – it’s not that it has any extraordinary or ornate design on it, but because I knew Jesus was inside and I knew I was about to see Him face to face.

For anyone who has gone to a concert or show of some kind you know the anticipation and excitement before the main performer comes out. You wait and wait and imagine what it will be like and check your watch, hoping they will start on time and when it finally does start you scream your head off and jump and dance like crazy. This is what it felt like waiting for Jesus that morning. I was almost shaking with excitement and when the curtain was drawn and He was finally brought out onto the altar my heart screamed “here He comes!” (to quote Judy Jacobs in her hit song “Days of Elijah”). Here He comes, my Lord and Savior; here He comes, the Lover of my soul and Redeemer of all. Here He comes, Jesus our King!

I was filled with so much joy at seeing Him, it was the best thing in the world. But, why am I not always this excited at seeing Him? Why do I not jump out of bed and race to the chapel to be the first in line? Not only that, why am I not excited for the Mass, why am I not more excited to receive Jesus’ body, blood, soul and divinity into my being to be transformed into Him?

And why don’t I look to see Him with such excitement in other people around me? I find this especially convicting.

As a missionary we get to meet hundreds of teens every week and my heart should scream just as loud when they come as it did that morning before holy hour. Jesus is in each and every one of us, it’s innate and an automatic blessing from the moment of our conception. We must look with anticipation and excitement to see Him in all those we encounter. In doing this, I find so much more joy and I find it a little bit easier to go up to a kid I’ve never met and sit and talk with her. I see Christ and I am drawn to Him. This fuels my mission, this fuels my love. I couldn’t get away from Him even if I wanted to. He’s better then a rock star, He’s our Lord and Savior, our King and God and He is calling us to Himself with every moment and every encounter. It’s hard to go and sit with someone you’ve never met and strike up a conversation, let alone a conversation about something as intimate and personal as a relationship with God, yet if we seek Christ, He will draw us into Himself in whoever we meet. There’s nothing more exciting, nothing to get your heart beating other than seeing the one you love and adore and you can see Him everywhere, just take a look!

“For nothing is impossible for God” (Luke 1:37).

We did it! We finally said, “YES!” After two years of discernment we have decided to sell everything we have and follow Jesus by answering His call for our family to become full-time missionaries.

This decision will effect everyone we hold dear, from our extended family, to our beloved community. A decision, we pray, that will encourage others to live out their call to be missionaries in their everyday life.

There are moments for us all when the voice of God is louder than the voice of the world. It is in listening to God in these moments that His grace allows us to be reduced to nothing so He can use us. It is with great trembling we accept the call to live fearlessly.

On this the Feast of St. Joseph, we begin our venture into the unknown with the Holy Family as our guide. At the end of our journey we want to be able to say, “We moved. Despite our fear, our laziness, and our pride, we chose to move.”

Thank you to all who will choose to support us through prayers and donations and to Life Teen for being open to the missionary spirit. We are eternally grateful.

Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, pray for us!

In Christ’s love,
The Farris Family
John 3:30