I had been feeling run down recently and tired from our work and frustrated in prayer, I grew anxious and irritable. I couldn’t focus on anything for very long and I found myself pushing God away. So, I decided to go back to the basics: God is love and I am His beloved.
A prayer I often hear in my heart is “I am yours and you are mine.” It’s Jesus seeking to have my whole heart. In doing work projects and retreats and searching for comfort in them I lost my place of comfort in God. I lost my union with Him and I ran away from the garden where He rests in my heart. But “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Songs 6:3). Gotta remember that one!
I prayed with that verse, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” I prayed for God to have my whole heart and to continue to rest in me as I rest in Him. I am yours, God, and you are mine. In praying this I began to enter back into union with Him; into a relationship that is so close that I only desire to be nearer to Him. From this union, from this place of rest, I come to share in His charity and “with great delight I sit in His shadow, and His fruit is sweet to my taste” (Songs 2:3). I love this verse; to sit in the shadow of God, but to still taste the sweetness of His fruit shows the graces of humility.
It’s not our glory, it’s God’s. Every labor of ours is to glorify God not ourselves. We should seek to be in His shadow. We should seek to be counted among the least. We should seek to serve with a humble heart. I had felt so far from God, so restless and frustrated because I was seeking to serve myself; I was seeking to be loved and adored by this world. But God invites us into His glory out of love and generosity, not because we do anything to deserve it. How often do we abuse that? How often do we steal His glory for our own? What humility it is to say I do this not for my sake but for the sake of the One who sent me.
And how lovely it is to share in the fruits of such a generous God! He invites us into His glory by inviting us into His labors, so that we may enjoy the fruits with Him. If we are not in union with God, we cannot expect to do His work. And if we cannot do His work, we cannot expect to be satisfied, for the fruits of our labors are perishable but the fruits of God’s are everlasting.
So open your heart to God’s love and ask for a deeper more intimate union with Him. He will love you and He will satisfy your heart forever and ever.