Lately, I have had the desire to run all over the world on mission and bring Jesus to people who may have never heard His name. In my imagination, lots of people would be converted, I would be a saint, and the Church would be renewed. Huge, glorious, wonderful things would happen, then we would all go to Heaven and have an eternal dance party and eat lots of candy, cookies, and cake. Can you picture it?!
In my head, mission quickly becomes this big, extravagant thing. I realized recently that part of this desire comes from the pride of thinking that I can do things better than God. I get impatient with His often slow movements. I start to think that if I take over and do things my way, I will be able to convert the whole world much quicker than if I let God keep working on His plans in my life. I thought I was smart enough to know by now that my plans are not better than God’s – He is much, much bigger than me!
I also feel like God has been reminding me over and over again lately that mission happens in very, very small actions (like calling people back, which I am bad at). Mission happens when I spend time with a friend, when I talk with a teenager, when I reply to a facebook message, and when I call my mom. Mission is about loving – in very, very small ways which are often much less glamorous and exciting than the big ideas and desires that I have in my mind.
So I am praying for the grace to be small, to love radically in the little things, and to not get caught up in big, extravagant desires that really have more to do with me than they do with the Lord.
Please pray for me as He humbles me, purifies my heart, and melts some of my stubbornness!