Jesus Felt Abandoned

Standing and singing the words, “Praise to You Lord Jesus Christ, King of Endless Glory” at the Palm Sunday Mass, opened my heart to listen deeply to the Lord’s voice.  It was the twenty-third time I had heard this long interactive Gospel recited during the Mass. I asked the Holy Spirit to provide me with the grace of hearing His Word in a new way and that I would be kept from distraction.  As I listened, the Gospel came to life and my eyes started streaming with tears.

The reality of Jesus’ humanity and pain became very real for me. I felt like I was with Him as He humanly asked His father to deliver Him from His sufferings. He felt alone in the garden; He felt abandoned. Our High King who is so awesome, mighty and powerful felt Abandoned. How could this be? How could it be that He felt similar things to that of which I feel?

In my previous blog, I wrote about my struggles in this time of Lent. It became so clear to me, during the Mass, that if Jesus suffered so intensely, I too, through my own choice of desiring to follow Him, would be permitted to suffer intensely. There is a gift in this. It helps me to realize that I am nothing without God.  I need the compassion of a Father and I need the mercy of a Savior. My suffer-free life is not going to come until Heaven. My hope is in knowing that I am not alone in the suffering and that there will be an end to it one day.  Jesus, my Savior, suffered, died, and then rolled the heavy stone away from tomb as He resurrected. Veni Sancte Spiritus!

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