I can’t believe I am announicng this to all of you. I have dreaded this day (march 24th) since I turned 39. For an entire year, I stopped telling people how old I was. I was very good at dodging the question any time someone asked me. Admitting I was 39 sounded so old, even though I don’t feel old. This past fall, someone (who will go unnamed) announced to a friend that this year I was having a Big birthday. I cringed inside when she said it. I later prayed about this asking God why I was having trouble with my age. I have always loved my birthdays, always letting people know how many days left until my day. I realized that I was feeling disappointed that I am not where I thought I would be at this age. I really thought I would be married with kids. I am not even close to getting married since I don’t have a boyfriend. I am also a missionary, not making any money. I am nothing what society says I should be at this stage in my life.
I met with my spiritual director recently and shared this struggle. He spoke so much truth to my heart. I felt that God was speaking directly to me. This priest told me to look at my history and notice God’s love and presence in it. He said not accepting my past is like telling God what He’s done for me and how He’s provided for me has not been enough. This statement really hit me. How could I complain about not being where I thought I should be and telling God that He hasn’t been enough? He also pointed out that while Jesus was in the desert for 40 days, he was tempted to change his history by being king over all the peoples and lands. If Jesus did not choose to change his history and he accepted the will of the Father, than I should accept it too. I spent the last couple of days reviewing my past and recognizing God’s presence in it and than writing a list of all the things, people, and experiences I am thankful for. I must say that I am thankful for all 40 years of my past and would not change it. God has blessed me abundantly and I trust He still has many more blessings for me in the future. So, if you want to ask me how old I am, I will tell you. I’m 40 years old and proud of it!
11 Comments
Happy Birthday, Melanie! You said the “F” word with pride and thankfulness. You are an amazing
person living the best days of your life. Miss you!
Love,
Maureen Mulcahy
Happy Birthday Melanie. Nicely said, a good lesson in just being.
Maryann
Melanie! What a beautiful story, worth each of your 40 years! You are such a true evangelist, what we are all called to be. Your teens in Germany are so blessed to have you. Thanks for sharing your soul with us! May God bless you in your next 40 years!
Love you my friend… Peace, Eileen
p.s. Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday to You!
Happy Birthday dear Melaniiiiie!
Happy Birthday to You!
xoxoxo
Happy Birthday Melanie!!! I hope you have an amazing day full of blessings. I miss you. Sending you all my love! Regina
Happy Birthday Mel. stay safe and happy.
Feliz cumpleaños Melanie! I’ll be 64 on Sunday and I love it! When I was teaching telling and asking your age in Spanish class in 1999, one student, using her new Spanish, eagerly asked how old I was. The class giggled as if I were not supposed to answer. So I told them the truth! I was 52! They were shocked! She blurted out in English,” Oh no!!! You shouldn’t have told us how old you really are. My mother said a woman should never tell her age!” So I asked, “Why not?” They were stumped. I asked, “Should I be embarrassed or ashamed of how old I am?” They all were silent for a minute and agreed that, no, I shouldn’t be. Then I told them that if they never remember a word of Spanish I hope they remember this: to be grateful for every year they get to live, that I was, and that I was especially grateful for having such good health and energy during all those years. (Couldn’t get into gratitude for the spiritual journey in a public school!) Finally I told them that 1999 was the only year I would ever get to be 52!!
You got me thinking about this more. I winder if we look at people as if they were things. New things feel nicer to wear or use. But then there’s wine! The more aged it is the better it is. Yup! I am like a fine wine. (so humble of me!)
So this is the only year I will get to be 64! Now I can authentically sing: da-dum-ta dum-ta-da-da… will you still need me, will you still feed me….when I’m 64!
I love you and miss you!
Lorraine
victory!
SO AWESOME.
Happy belated, God bless!
I am SO proud of you Melanie. With tears in my eys I read this blog. I understand some of your “struggles” and that’s why this blog makes me so happy and thankful for all God gave to you and for all what has God given to me.
The fact that we need to accept our history makes such good sence!
If Jesus accepts, then we accept: true Him, in Him en with Him.
Melanie you are a blessing!
love you, my sister in Christ
Bernadette
Melanie – Happy Birthday and what a great blog! Love and Blessings!
Amazing…that’s what you are ! I am so blessed to have you in my life…For the past 18 of your 40 years, you have inspired, influenced, and deeply touched my life in so many ways. It is always so easy to see Christ in you, God’s hand working through you, and His Holy Spirit guiding you. As a result, you always leave the fragrance of His peace, hope, joy and love wherever you’ve been and wherever you’ll go. I’m so proud of you and so proud to call you my friend.
Can’t wait for “Cheesecake”…
Happy 40th my friend!
love
pattie