I have never really been a person who handles stillness very well. I was probably one of the busiest people at my college. I am a Musical Theater major and I had a heavy schedule filled with core classes, clubs, and rehearsals. I was always busy and had little time for things outside of my schedule. Ever since I become a missionary, I have had to learn one of the toughest phrases I have ever had to implement into my vocabulary: I am learning how to be still.
While we do have a schedule for the mission year, we try to remain flexible and leave space to create our own personal rule (which pretty much means finding time in the schedule to do things we need to get done). These empty spaces can be hard for me at times. I have gotten so used to being busy and constantly going all day long, I have forgotten how to be still. I have developed this notion that I have to be constantly in motion that and being still is wrong. However, I was gently reminded that the first year of missions is about being, not doing. This is VERY hard for me to hear at times!
I come from a very rural part of North Georgia. I love doing things outdoors and I don’t like being in the same place for a very long period of time. Whenever I got restless at school, there was always a place I could go hiking or a river I could canoe on or a lake I could swim in. Here in Europe, especially where I am, there is nowhere I can climb a tree or do something outdoors. So, what does this mean for me?
While I will always be looking for a place here where I can do these things, I am striving to learn how to be still. This is a big struggle for me, because as I previously stated, I am an active person, not a passive one. But I know that in order to have a deeper relationship with God, I have to learn how to be still. It’s kind of scary right now because the thought of sitting still for an extended amount of time doesn’t sound like something I would normally like to do. However, this year is all about growth. If I have to stop doing and start being, this is a step towards that growth!