Are you always putting yourself down? Criticizing everything that you do, haven’t done, are, or are not?
I am. I’m always putting myself lower than others, comparing and being a very hard judge on myself: “That’s so stupid.”, “You’re fat”, “That was a dumb reaction.”, “She is so much prettier than I am.”, “They must think I’m dumb.”, etc. etc. This goes on in my head, every day, every hour, if it’s not every few minutes or seconds.
Do you recognize a little bit of this? Or maybe you feel like you look at others in that way: “Oh man, look at that outfit!”, “Oh, he is the biggest nerd ever!” Etc.
I was sitting in Mass this week and during the last song at the end of the Mass, after we received Jesus in the most holy Sacrament, I was judging myself again. “Elske, you are so stupid, you are so weak. You haven’t done this, you haven’t done that. You are so weak. You are nothing!”.
Right after that moment an image flashed through my head. I saw Jesus being scourged for each thought that just went through my head. He is being scourged because of each lie I throw at myself. It is hurting Him so deeply and also me. I am being scourged with every lie, but Jesus too! He died for our sins and every time I get this thought in my head about myself or about somebody else, Jesus is being scourged for each lie, for each killing thought. And the scourging also happens to me or the other person who we are criticizing.
Jesus is going through it because He loves me. But I really need to stop the thoughts. They are not from Him, they are evil and are killing me, my self esteem, my being. Jesus loves me so much and none of these lies are true. They are killing me and Jesus. I have to stop putting myself (or others) down because He wants to lift us up. I have to stop listening to these lies. Only He is the Truth and He loves me. All the other things that are saying something else are painful and destructive.
Stop hurting yourself and Jesus! Get to know the truth! Stop putting yourself or others down! Jesus loves you so intentionally. You are all completely and fully loved! Every fiber in your body. Everything! Come to Him. Let Him show you the truth about who you really are. And stop the lies! Be free, together with Him. In His love, that’s the only place where you need to be, you are free! Rest and listen to Him and nothing else!