In America, we have two New Years. One would be the obvious one on January 1st. The second is when about half the population is getting ready for their first day of school…. or in my case my missionary year!
I love new beginnings, I dunno if I have ever said this but I think they are the best!!! It is a time to wipe away all of your past and begin again. There is no baggage or . . . .
3 Weeks Later:
Haha, I have to sit here and laugh. I thought I would have more time this year to do these kind of things. . . this shows that if I don’t intentionally schedule something and commit to it in my mind it will be put on the back burner. I promise I will try not to let it happen again.
Anyways . . . what I was going to talk about last time was about new beginnings and how everyday is a new beginning in God’s eyes. A priest really spoke to me during reconciliation (talk about new beginnings!), he impressed upon me the idea that every morning, I need to treat it as a new beginning with my relationship with God. Yesterday, the mistakes and the victories, are wiped away. Both are wiped clean because both can get in the way of what God desires us to do for him. Mistakes can bring us into shame, depression, and fear; victories can bring us into a feeling of pride and selfishness.
There is something that I struggle with, I can reach a period of boredom fairly quickly with any activity. I don’t think it is completely sinful…in fact I believe that there is a restlessness that has been put there by God. In my heart I feel a desire to roam and to do so many things! God has put a free spirit in my heart that is trying to get out. I feel it physically in my heart and body. It feels like my heart is trying to break free from my chest or my body is ready to explode into a million pieces of light. The problem is is that my mind changes my experience of life. Whether it is through sin, doubt, guilt, or confusion. My mind tries (probably the devil’s work) to play tricks on me. I begin to think that all activities are too hard, too long, too slow. I get tired and I think it’s better to move on. Like I said, God has put a restless spirit in me, but I take it for granted and give up too soon and too easily. With the spirit of restlessness, He also calls me to a journey that doesn’t happen fast and comes with great sacrifice.
So, if I begin to take each new day as a completely new beginning, a new adventure, I am able to enter into the journey that God has set before me with an ever increasing excitement for what the new day is to bring. I wipe everything that has happened before so that nothing can bring me down or up and I start fresh. I want so much to get to a place that no matter what I am doing I am fully diving in as if it were the first, last, and only time I am doing it.
Let’s get specific here. I love to play guitar. I LOVE it. I love music and the way it inspires me. I am not so much attached to the words; I am attached to the amazing sounds and melodies that God has created for us. . . . So why do I grow tired of it? Why do I wake up some mornings and I get to the chapel and I feel like the music is stale. It sounds hollow and empty. It’s not the music’s fault. My heart is where the problem lies. It is because I am not coming to the Lord with an open and newly transformed heart. I woke up that morning still attached to yesterday and everything that came with it. My prayer and hopefully if you can join me this week, is to pray for a desire to leave my bed and house with an empty and anticipating heart for what is in store.