Memories

Lately I’ve been really caught up in my past. In my prayer I have been led to healing and to forgiveness of a lot of things I have been holding on to. A few days ago I heard a friend talk about some of his favorite childhood memories which got me thinking about mine. Now most people say I have a great memory.  I remember conversations in great detail.  Past events are easy for me to recall. But as I start thinking about my past I noticed myself going straight to all my negative memories from my childhood through high school. I remembered the fights with friends, the rumors of classmates, and the struggles of this time in my life. For a moment I forgot that there were any good memories, a horrible feeling even if just for a second.

So I pulled out my journal and prayed.  When all was said and done the Lord gave me a list. A very long list actually, taking up multiply pages of memories. These memories went from the age of about eight all the way up to my high school graduation. As I read over this list I found myself smiling at all the memories I had accumulated over the years and all the things I almost let myself forget and then I noticed a note almost to the end that stopped me in my tracks. It was labeled “the gang!” ( and yes there was an explanation point.)  You see, I have been so caught up in the drama, rumors, and bad parts of high school that I had  forgotten about “the gang” – five people who stood by my side during thick and thin even through all the drama and the rumors. They were the best part of high school and I almost didn’t give them there due. As I look back today I have to count myself as blessed, God gave me not just one best friend or even two, he blessed me with five amazing, strong, and perfect friends who I could laugh and cry with, be myself with and share my life with. Looking back now I see the blessing I once missed, and I can thank God for the grace to see it now. I hope and I pray this happiness will lead to the forgiveness I’ve been longing for and those friendships will never be forgotten (or almost forgotten) again.

Patty, Ashley, Heather, Diego, and Jason, thanks for the memories, for the laughs and for all the good times we shared together.  It was a blessing from above that you all were placed in my life. Please know I pray for you everyday. I love you.

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