This is my first blog and I have been racking my brain for weeks, trying to figure out what to write about. If I am honest, it’s hard to be vulnerable and share all that God is doing in my heart via a computer screen. I think I am most nervous about that…that and being misinterpreted. So, I’ve spent the majority of my time thinking, writing, erasing, praying, typing, deleting, etc. You know the drill, because we have all done it – whether it is a paper for school or a speech for work – I pretty much gave up and sat down to write a piece with a lot of fluff. But as I was typing this last time, I realized that by not being true to who I am and not opening myself up for others (you), I was letting my fear own me. And I am pretty sure no good comes from that.
Acts 4:20 reads: “For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.”
Truthfully, I am not very good at this. I have known Jesus my whole life, and still I shy away from the uncomfortable conversations with my friends or my family when it comes to sharing what I really believe. Sure, I am perfectly fine sharing with the community at Covecrest about how God is moving because I know that they will rejoice with me and encourage me; but outside of that safety zone, I am often timid and hesitant because there is a fear of rejection, misunderstanding and confusion. I put my own limitations on what I think my family can handle and I wimp out…I skim over the details like it’s not a big deal, BUT IT IS A BIG DEAL!
This passage from Acts is found as Peter and John stand before the leaders of their time, after they were commanded to never again speak or teach in the name of Jesus. But the disciples didn’t back down when they faced persecution, jailing or possible death. They had no idea what the outcome would be and yet they still proclaimed the Lord’s name…they couldn’t stop speaking about Him! Yet I am not bold even when I only face a little humiliation? I should be shouting of all the ways God loves me. I should be shouting of how I have really come to know Him no matter what the circumstance and no matter to whom I am speaking.
So, my prayer is to be bold – to be strong with my friends and family and the random person in the grocery store – to proclaim His name whatever the cost. Please pray for me; I am praying for you.