Well, hello! First, let me introduce myself. My name is Elske Antonissen. I’m 26 years old and I’m from the Netherlands, sometimes better known as Holland. I came here last week to be a Covecrest missionary in Tiger, Georgia, for a whole year. It’s unbelievable to be here, in this heavenly place, full of love and so close to God.
I have been waiting and searching for a long time to end up in the most perfect place for me, Covecrest. I came here to find peace and rest and to grow closer to God. Through this, I hope to build a foundation and reach out to others in their search for God and their troubles of life. When I got to know more about Covecrest, I knew this was the place for me. Deep in my heart, there were no doubts.
I had high expectations for this year – great hope for God to meet me in my struggles and heal my pain and my scars. However, I never expected that God would totally overwhelm me with His love, presence and healing hands from the first day I was here! He was so present and loved me in so many areas in which I needed healing. He totally set the tone for this whole year and filled me totally with His light. He began healing me and forming me in just the first few days. It’s so amazing. His love, His presence and his voice have been so clear. I am in awe.
One thing that I would like to share with you in this blog is something that I have struggled with for many years. God made it very clear for me in the first day. It only took Him one hour in Adoration. Here it is: He thirsts for me. I never really understood that God loved me deeply, unconditionally and personally. I knew in my head, but not in my heart, that He had loved me since I was in the womb and that He always would. I could understand why He loved others and everybody together, but me personally? I could not grasp it. I could not really realize it. I could not really believe it.
I was looking for that love for many years in people around me, but I never found it. It never filled that empty hole in my heart. It never satisfied that thirst for deep, overwhelming, unconditional love. And then, in the Adoration, when my thirst for real love was stirring in me, Jesus spoke and said deep in my heart: “Elske, I thirst for you!” It hit me…hard! That deep thirst, that deep longing I had. Jesus has the same for me and in such a stronger way! For me!
He had been waiting my whole life for this moment when I would turn to Him, and rest in Him. I felt His loving eyes upon me and had a flashback of all the moments before in my life that I got to see glimpses of His love for me. In each of those moments, He was loving me but I was not in a place to receiving it. And now it finally got me…He got me! He loves me. He saw me through my whole life. He suffered when I suffered. He cried when I cried. He looked on with so much love, during every single second of my life! Every second of my life! He planned everything so that I could come from another continent to a small community in America and sit here before Him in the Blessed Sacrament where I would receive His love and His healing touch.
God even showed me an image I had a few months ago. When I was praying, I saw Jesus on the ground at the Crucifixion. As He received the nails through His hands and feet., He was looking at me with love! He died for me! At this moment, sitting in front of the most holy Sacrament, God’s love penetrated my heart. It finally went from my head to my heart. Jesus thirsts for me. Only He can totally fill my heart, and only I can fill that personal place in His heart of longing and thirsting for me, only me! No one else can fill His thirst for me, that hole in His heart for me. He waits and longs and thirsts for me to come and to really know His love for me.
There is no one else like you, Jesus. Thank You so much.