Yesterday I was reading about the call of Matthew in Matthew 9:9-
As Jesus passed on from there, he saw a man named Matthew sitting at the customs post. He said to him, “Follow me.” And he got up and followed him.
As I reflected on this verse, I wondered what was going through Matthew’s mind. I have heard this many times before, and it always strikes me how Matthew follows Jesus so easily. Once again I was struck by the simplicity of the event. Jesus says, “Follow me,” and Matthew immediately follows Jesus. But I started to ponder what could have possibly been going through Matthew’s mind when Jesus asked him to follow. Was there any hesitation? Was there fear? Intimidation? What was Matthew’s reaction really like? It takes an incredible amount of trust to follow someone blindly. For me, it is hard to fathom such blind trust and courage. So instead, I try to tell myself that Matthew most certainly had to doubt or have some hesitation. I just can’t understand how he just follows Jesus so easily when he is asked. I realized that in my mind I was trying to make Matthew seem more doubting and hesitant because then it would somehow make it more acceptable for me to be the same way. The truth is that we will never be able to know exactly what went through Matthew’s head and exactly what the interaction looked like. All we are told is that Jesus says, “Follow me,” and Matthew listens. Maybe I should stop looking for reasons and excuses to doubt and hesitate. As I continue to struggle with putting my full trust in the Lord, Jesus continues to show me the need to trust him. Instead of trying to convince myself that Matthew hesitated to trust Jesus, I need to follow his example of following Jesus. It is difficult to always say “yes” to follow Him because I am afraid that He and I have different ideas of what is best for me. And I have found that many times His plan for me is in fact a lot different than I think it should be. But in responding to His call to follow Him, as Matthew did, I have to say that I trust Him. I trust that He knows what is best. I trust He will take care of me. I must trust that God is a lot smarter than me, so He most certainly knows what I need. When I read about the call of Matthew yesterday, I realized I must have courage and follow Jesus.