Yesterday I was sitting in front of the Eucharist for adoration and I was praying for all of you. I had a lot of names and a lot of times I don’t get through it all so I have set up a a rotation. I start at the beginning on some days and then switch up and start at the end and go back on other days. That way, I make it through everyone at least a few times a week.
I don’t finish a lot of times though, because I get caught up on one or two and really dive into prayer for those people. I don’t why. They are usually never the same people and many times they are people that I don’t know but have been asked to pray for anyways. This morning it was several people that caught my attention. For some reason, I felt a hurting passion for them. I mean it HURT! I was in the chapel and I felt like my heart was being squeezed through a blender. I could see the loss, the destruction, the frustration, and the sadness of what they were going through. I could see how much they hurt. And all I wanted for them was to be comforted by Christ. I just wanted them to know the Truth. I just wanted to take away their pain and sorrow. I felt sorrow for THEM!
I think this is the next piece after my conversion in January. It’s why I labeled Part 2. Because I have hit a point on my journey where I know the truth and now I am seeing the travelers on this journey who do not. Let’s think about it this way. Picture a giant caravan of people who are all traveling in the same direction. We are all moving along a very long road. A road that doesn’t seem to have an end. There are all kinds of people who are traveling. Before I understood the Eucharist I was only thinking about my own car and the people in it. I never looked out. I was always trying to fix the wheel, check on the luggage, or change the oil. I never had the courage to continue my journey for long distance because I was so concerned about everything inside my bubble.
So, when I finally put my trust in the Lord I finally was able to get on my way and begin to leave the anxiety and worry behind. I began to check out the scenery and the people who were driving alongside me. I could take picture and listen to music and read books if someone else drove. But I also began to pass a lot of other cars. Cars who were stopped on the side or chugging along really slowly. Cars that had been like mine. I would pass cars where there was fighting going on, or really awkward silences, or embarrassing situations for some of the passengers. And I just felt a yearning to heal them of those wounds. Have you ever been in a grocery store and seen a Mother scold a child in a way that wasn’t necessary? How do you feel? I feel embarrassed and sorrow for what that child might be feeling and going through. What do you want to do? I feel like taking that child in my arms and comforting him and letting him know that he is loved. That is what I feel like when I am driving past some of these other cars. I just feel a sense of sorrow for their wounds as well as a sorrow for their confusion and misunderstanding. They aren’t even aware of anything outside their windows. Their eyes are glued to the inside and the situations that they are in.
I felt that in prayer. It was an incredible passion to help other people understand the love of God. I loved some of those people in my prayer list so much that it HURT just to think about them and the hurting that they might be going through.