I love till it hurts (Part 2).

Yesterday I was sitting in front of the Eucharist for adoration and I was praying for all of you.  I had a lot of names and a lot of times I don’t get through it all so I have set up a a rotation.  I start at the beginning on some days and then switch up and start at the end and go back on other days.  That way, I make it through everyone at least a few times a week.

I don’t finish a lot of times though, because I get caught up on one or two and really dive into prayer for those people.  I don’t why.  They are usually never the same people and many times they are people that I don’t know but have been asked to pray for anyways.  This morning it was several people that caught my attention.  For some reason, I felt a hurting passion for them.  I mean it HURT!  I was in the chapel and I felt like my heart was being squeezed through a blender.  I could see the loss, the destruction, the frustration, and the sadness of what they were going through.  I could see how much they hurt.  And all I wanted for them was to be comforted by Christ.  I just wanted them to know the Truth.  I just wanted to take away their pain and sorrow.  I felt sorrow for THEM!

I think this is the next piece after my conversion in January.  It’s why I labeled Part 2.  Because I have hit a point on my journey where I know the truth and now I am seeing the travelers on this journey who do not.  Let’s think about it this way.  Picture a giant caravan of people who are all traveling in the same direction.  We are all moving along a very long road.  A road that doesn’t seem to have an end.  There are all kinds of people who are traveling.  Before I understood the Eucharist I was only thinking about  my own car and the people in it.  I never looked out.  I was always trying to fix the wheel, check on the luggage, or change the oil.  I never had the courage to continue my journey for long distance because I was so concerned about everything inside my bubble.

So, when I finally put my trust in the Lord I finally was able to get on my way and begin to leave the anxiety and worry behind.  I began to check out the scenery and the people who were driving alongside me.  I could take picture and listen to music and read books if someone else drove.  But I also began to pass a lot of other cars.  Cars who were stopped on the side or chugging along really slowly.  Cars that had been like mine.  I would pass cars where there was fighting going on, or really awkward silences, or embarrassing situations for some of the passengers.  And I just felt a yearning to heal them of those wounds.  Have you ever been in a grocery store and seen a Mother scold a child in a way that wasn’t necessary?  How do you feel?  I feel embarrassed and sorrow for what that child might be feeling and going through.  What do you want to do?  I feel like taking that child in my arms and comforting him and letting him know that he is loved.  That is what I feel like when I am driving past some of these other cars.  I just feel a sense of sorrow for their wounds as well as a sorrow for their confusion and misunderstanding.  They aren’t even aware of anything outside their windows.  Their eyes are glued to the inside and the situations that they are in.

I felt that in prayer.  It was an incredible passion to help other people understand the love of God.  I loved some of those people in my prayer list so much that it HURT just to think about them and the hurting that they might be going through.