One of the many blessings of being a LifeTeen missionary this year is the eight-day silent retreat we just completed on January 16th. God blessed us so much during this time of complete solitude with Him.
The Father completely transformed my heart during this time. My life has been forever changed in a blessed way. On the second day of the retreat, I began to see a red glow coming from the Host with about ten minutes left in Adoration. Not sure if it was the light or not, I kept leaning to the left and right to see if the glow changed. It stayed the entire time. So that glow made me think immediately of the Sacred Heart of Jesus burning with love for souls. This ended up being the theme of the rest of my time in solitude. Jesus showed me meditation after meditation, prayer after prayer His Sacred Heart. He taught me day after day how to have a heart just like His. I read a book during the week called “I Believe in Love,” a book based on the spirituality of St. Therese of Lisieux. This quote from the book speaks to the work Christ did in my heart during the retreat:
“Jesus transforms us into Himself. Our intelligence is no longer our intelligence, but His: we see things as He sees them. Our will is no longer our will but His: we will what He wills, and we reject what He rejects. Our heart is no longer our heart, but the Heart of Jesus: we love what He loves, and we detest what He detests.”
This speaks of total abandonment to Jesus. I realized that Jesus wants to form my heart into His Heart, and this is what I really desire. I want my heart to be just like His Heart, burning with love for souls and obedient to the will of the Father.
Jesus also revealed to me how deep His love is for us, especially in the Eucharist. This quote from “I Believe in Love” made my heart jump when I read it:
“It is not in order to remain in the golden ciborium that He comes down each day from Heaven, but in order to find another heaven, the heaven of our souls, made in His image, the living temple of the adorable Trinity.”
Wow! I always looked at the Eucharist just as my time with Jesus, which is amazing, and He desires just as much to dwell in the heaven of my soul! His love is so great! There is something about solitude that really allows you to hear the Lord, to focus on Him and Him alone. Jesus revealed so much to me during this time. Having no distractions at all allowed me to really take the time to meditate on Christ, His words, the Gospel stories, His awesome love and mercy, and to spend so much time with Him to deepen our relationship.