My vocation – to love :)

St. Therese & Thanksgiving Break

I love living in community. God is teaching me how to love. Not to say that I don’t love, but I feel like God is teaching me new depths of His love. It’s like he says “Ok, your heart has learned hoe to love in this way, and that’s great, now let me teach you love that way.” We just read St Therese’s Story of a Soul, and there’s a part where¬† her sister, Celine, explains to her how God pours out His graces on each soul equally although to our human perspective it might not seem that way. She explains a tall glass standing next to a thimble, an d how a pitcher of water fills them up to the very top. She then asks Therese whether they are both full, and Therese answers that they are. Then Celine proceeds to explain that just like the thimble and the glass, God pours out His graces into souls, but He will only pour out as many graces as each soul can handle at the time. I can tend to compare myself with others and become discourage by what I see to be faults in my soul, but it is good to know and remind myself of the truth that God will only pour into my heart as many graces as I can handle at the time, and that little by little He will expand my heart.

All the missionaries went home recently for Thanksgiving break, and it was good. I loved seeing my family and spending time with them. I have really missed eating meals woith them and just catching up at length. We got to decorate the house in preparation for Christmas and that was so fun. We also watched the movie UP which was fantastic :) Thanksgiving day was really blessed, it was peaceful and just an all around great day. The one thing I found challenging was maintaining the rhythm of prayer I’ve come to embrace here at Covecrest. It really is amazing how being in community can have such an impact in encouraging you to be consistent in prayer. My family definitely prays, the are devoted/practicing Catholics, but the difference is that as opposed to living at Covecrest, I never really had a set schedule at home for my prayer time. I noticed that whenever I happened to miss a prayer time (i.e. morning prayer, or evening prayer) it would have an effect on my heart, hindering my ability to really love people around me. Even if I didn’t act out my feelings of impatience, I knew I was being inpatient in my heart. I love my family so much, but for some reason it is way easier for me to be inpatient with them as opposed to other people. I think in a way I can tend to expect perfection from my family which is totally crazy, because who am I to fall into the mindset of “You should get where I’m coming from!”¬† So coming back to Covecrest from break, in a way I felt like I failed to love. I was not as patient or compassionate as I could have been. I was quick to jump to conclusions, and as opposed to the posture of my heart being that of unconditional love, too often I found it to be that of a defensive heart with conditional love. I think that the more I dive into my relationship with God, the more He shows me what parts of my heart need to be worked on by Him. I am excited to our next break because I really want to love my family well, and have a completely different posture of my heart.

Community & Mexico

I have fallen in love with my community :) We laugh, and pray, and sometimes even cry together. We encourage one another and build each other up. I love each and every one of my missionary brothers & sisters, and the families, and the entire staff. I have loved living in a community where everyone is willing to share their hearts with one another and speak truth in love.

Soon, well on Monday actually we are driving to Mexico. We will all be together in a van for quite some time. I am excited about it because I know that a lot of growth took place on our drive to/from Boston. We leave on the 7th of this month and come back on the 16th. We will be working with Family Missions Company in General Cepeda. I am really excited about this mission, I think God will move in mighty ways. Please pray for us and thank you for your continued prayers, they mean the world to me :)

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My lovely sister Sara and I, laughing nonstop :) Haha community :)

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