I have to be honest with you, at this time in my life, I don't have a significant other. (I feel like if I say it that way it's not as bad as saying 'yes, I'm single' – saving that phrase for the holidays.)
I'm convinced that driving a minivan is stifling my dating life . . . I'm also thinking I need to spend more Wednesdays in cafes. . . Stop asking about my dating life!
The man in my life is Jesus. On a scale of 12 to 89 He weighs in at about a million. Some girls and Tumblr accounts, I'm not naming names here, think Mr. R. Gosling is the epitome of the male gender.
Just look at this face. But wait another 200 words before you agree because I'm about to do a Jesus vs. Ryan Gosling throwdown.
Yes, he's beautiful. He's that rare Hollywood breed of 'fine' and he knows how to pose his pretty face for a nice semi-serious shot. But . . .
Jesus created that pretty face.
Another thing Gosling has going for him besides having the same name as a baby goose, is that he looks great in plaid. Like NO OTHER MAN today. So original.
You know what Jesus looks great in? HUMAN NATURE. Yeah, he had to put that on like Ryan put on that plaid shirt handed him by a wardrobe person. Jesus is God and did us a huge favor by becoming human in order to forgive our sins so that we could join Him in heaven one day. Kind of a big deal.
'Hey girl, I'm even attractive with long messy hair and a beard.' – Ryan Gosling
In other words, he's attractive with Jesus-type hair and beard? Pretty sure my God rocked that look 2000 years before this. Plus He knows how many unkempt hairs are on your head . . . and on mine. (Matthew 10:30)
I bet Ryan could win a sail boat race in his nautical-hipster-nerd outfit and not even break a sweat.
Ready, set, we're about to get serious . . . go!
Ryan doesn't know you exist. Harry Styles doesn't know you exist, and neither does Hunter Hayes. Your boyfriend or girlfriend certainly knows you exist but that doesn't mean he or she should get every ounce of your love and attention. Why do we idolize these people who are just that – people?
You've been on God's mind and heart forever; He never stops thinking about you. If you were the only person in the world Jesus would have gone through all the pain of his death on the cross just. for. you.
I know you're not obsessed or in love with Ryan Gosling, this is all just fun and games. But if you were to be honest, would you be more excited if Ryan Gosling walked into church than you are when Jesus is present at Mass? Are you spending time in the Jesus Fan Club? Because He deserves that from you. Talk to Him, get to know His heart, listen to His words in the Gospels . . . He loves us.
And on all accounts He's the best 1-upper ever – even though He hasn’t done any photo shoots.
Sorry R.G., I guess you can't have it all.