I want a lot of things out of life. I want to be happy. I want to feel like I have purpose. I want to be loved. I want to make a difference. I want to live a life I’m proud of. I want to be a saint. I want chocolate and tacos but not at the same time.
But I don’t know where to find those vague and lofty desires. Are they only talked about in poems and songs? Because so many people around me aren’t happy with their lives, or haven’t found their purpose, or are settling for counterfeit love and a bottle of booze.
If I don’t think about it nothing will be accomplished; I’ll stay the same. If I overthink it, I become frustrated and feel like my goals are too high. Maybe I should just settle with “getting by.” How can I expect to make a difference in this big, dark world anyway? Sometimes I envision a map of the world and then imagine how small of a dot I would be on it; how insignificant in relation to the amount of people and problems that the map contains.
(Incoming: wise and perfectly relevant prayer . . . )
My Jesus, I want to serve you, and cannot find the way.
I want to do good, and I cannot find the way.
I want to find you, and I cannot find the way.
I want to love you, and I cannot find the way.
I do not yet know you, my Jesus,
because I do not seek you.
I seek you, and I cannot find you.
Come to me, my Jesus.
I will never love you,
if you do not help me, my Jesus.
Cut through my bonds,
if you wish to have me.
Jesus, be Jesus to me. Amen
—St. Philip Neri
The only thing that will make me happy is to do God’s will. The only way to discover God’s will is to spend time in prayer allowing God to cut away my bonds of selfishness and pride. Once I admit that I can’t find the road on my own, the Way, the Truth, and the Life is able to guide me.
Because He knows me. He made me and knows what the deepest desires of my heart are. He even placed them there! Why even trust myself to find what I want when God understands me better than I understand myself? He stands at the door knocking, asking “what do you want?” (Matthew 20:32)
Well God, I want a lot of things out of life.
And God says: “I want a lot of things for your life. I want you to be happy. I want you to know your purpose. I want you to be loved. I want you to make a difference. I’m proud of you. I will make you a saint. And you’re welcome for chocolate and tacos.”