Brian Kissinger

Hearing Crickets: What if God Doesn’t Answer my 54 Day Novena?

Q: Well I’ve been praying a 54 day novena for my future husband, and what you do is that for the first 27 days you pray for something, and then you get some sort of answer and then on the other 27 days you pray to give thanksgiving for your answer.

So I did just this and when the first 27th day came around and I didn’t meet any guy or feel like I got any solid answer from God. Then that Wednesday at R.E. we were talking about marriage and afterwards I felt really depressed about it. I pray about it but the sadness still seems to be there.

I know that there are good guys out there. But I just can’t seem to find any that I like or likes me back. It just feels like there’s no hope and I just have no idea on what to do.

A: First of all, thanks for sending the question and sharing your story. Sometimes our own frustrations and setbacks can lead us to believe that we’re alone or that we’re the only ones going through this. I’m sure that there are plenty of other teens (and adults) going through similar difficulties, and i know it’s not easy. I remember praying the 54-day novena myself, and at the end of the 54 days, and for the next year or two, I was still as single as I was when I started the novena.

One thing that I really like about that novena is that it teaches us to be confident that God will provide; we’re expected to pray in thanksgiving for a blessing that we may not even have received yet. It’s easy to thank God when His goodness is obvious, but it takes real faith and hope to believe that He’s still on our side when we’re not feeling it.

One of my favorite verses in the Bible comes from Luke’s Gospel, where Mary newly pregnant with Jesus, is visiting her cousin Elizabeth. Elizabeth, speaking of Mary, says, “Blessed are you who believed that what was spoken to you by the Lord would be fulfilled” (Luke 1:45).

I know it’s difficult to have such a deep desire in your heart, to spend so much time praying for it and to for the desire to be still unfulfilled. For years I had wanted so badly to get married but wondered if it would ever happen. Looking back, I can say with certainty that God’s plan and His timing were far better than any of my plans. You can trust that He’s working for you, that He’s on your side, and that He wants your happiness even more than you do.

If we believe that marriage is a vocation, a calling and a path from God that will lead many people to heaven, then it makes sense that the enemy would sow seeds of doubt and despair in our hearts. Don’t believe in the lies that you’ll never be happy or that your happiness depends on whether or not you get married.

Whether you’re called to marriage or not, God has happiness for you today. Your life matters, and God is a loving Father who wants to provide for your every need.

The favors of the Lord are not exhausted, His mercies are not spent; They are renewed each morning, so great is His faithfulness (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Do you have a question about dating and relationships you’d like to ask Brian and Courtney Kissinger? Email them at [email protected] and your question could be the next blog post!

Brian Kissinger

About the Author

I’ve never lost a game of "Scene It" and I just don’t understand why people have bumper stickers of paw prints on their cars. My biggest fear is dancing in public and I used to have an imaginary friend named P.J. Kuszykowski. Seriously.