Q: Are there any “good guys” out there? It seems like all the guys I’ve met are jerks or losers… not exactly someone I would want to date.
A: The short answer: YES! And they’re so worth waiting for.
It wasn’t that long ago that I shared with a priest some struggles that my boyfriend at the time and I were going through. We’d been dating for awhile and I had invested a lot of time, energy, and heart into our relationship. I really thought he was “the one.”
I explained to the priest I did have a few concerns about our relationship; minor concerns in my opinion at that time. My boyfriend didn’t always have time to call me, he didn’t have time to spend with my family, he didn’t always have time to go to church. It was time, my priest suggested, to try dating someone else…
He then uttered the words, “There are a lot of good guys out there.”
Ha! I thought. This priest obviously hasn’t been on the dating scene himself!
Although dating my boyfriend exclusively for some time, I still kept up an active social life and I had not met anyone else that I’d considered dating. Plus, I was one of the lucky ones. At least I had a boyfriend, however “mediocre” he was at times. I listened to my single friends complain of horrible dates they’d been on – or their lack of dating in general. Why in the world would I risk ending my relationship to see if this priest was right… to see if there were good guys out there.
The priest then suggested something less drastic than breaking off the relationship. He told me to pray in front of the Blessed Sacrament over the course of a month and ask Jesus for guidance. To ask God: is this the man I should be dating?
Over the course of that month, I realized my current relationship was not bringing out the best in me and that it needed to end. To comfort the sadness I felt in this situation, I also began to believe the words the priest had said earlier: “there are good guys out there.”
It turns out he was right! Shortly after ending things with my boyfriend, the uncle of one my students asked me out. Turns out he had seen me months earlier and wanted to ask me out, but heard I had a boyfriend and stayed away.
One year later, we were married.
Now it doesn’t always happen this fast. But it’s not going to happen at all if you cling to mediocre or bad relationships. Likewise, if you’re single – entering into a relationship just to be dating is not going to improve your chances of finding the right guy.
You’ve got to let God into the decision making process with your relationships. Ask Him how much you’re worth. Then ask Him if the guy you’re dating (or you think you want to be dating) is worthy of you. If he’s not, have hope. The good ones are out there, and they are well worth the wait.
Do you have a question about dating and relationships you’d like to ask Brian and Courtney Kissinger? Email them at [email protected] and your question could be the next blog post!