Christina Mead

Forever Alone: An Ode to Singles

Warning: first I'm going to rant, then I shall apologize, and then I will offer a solution for you because I'm nice like that. And because I like you and want you to be happier than you look in your #foreveralone selfie and sound in your #foreveralone tweet.

The Rant

Why does single-ness have to be seen as a curse? YOU ARE NOT CURSED AND YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BE FOREVER ALONE. The world isn't out to get you and neither is God. Life isn't a shakespeare play, a country song, or an episode of Lizzie McGuire.

I totally understand the temptation to eat 5 reeses (on a good day) and bemoan your single state in a fit of self-pity. However, I'm not so sure that broadcasting to everyone that you're single is the best way to deal. I'm just being real with you.

The Apology

Alright. I'm sorry for ranting like a cantankerous old man. (On the bright side, now you remember how cool the word cantankerous is.)

So, I apologize for the rant. Well, I'm only sort of sorry. Okay, I'm about as sorry as I am about eating a brownie for breakfast. Interpret that however you want.

The Solution

The solution isn't Easy-Bake Oven easy. (Can you tell I'm hungry? Fridays . . . )

Please trust me when I say I know how difficult it is to be single. I feel like all my best friends are dating or married . . . because they are. Plus I'm pretty sure I'm about ten years older than some of you (as proven by my reference to Lizzie McGuire) so it's even more difficult to hear you complain. Just wait til you're in your twenties.

Which brings me to my next point. You have plenty of time. Think about how many years you have ahead of you before you'll actually want a ring on your left hand. Don't rush it!

I think that part of the problem is that people see dating as a way to cure loneliness. You can and you need to have a full, happy life without a girlfriend or boyfriend. It's so much more attractive to be a person who has their own interests and passions, than it is to be someone who is just 'getting by' and not living life fully (John 10:10).

Every day has such incredible potential. I know that sounds cliche and I won't blame you if you're like, 'oh my gosh Christina, stop with the cheesy Mr. Rogers lines.' But seriously . . .

I was just reading (for the third time) this incredible book about the life of St. Therese and the author was talking about how Therese made the most of every day because this was her perspective:

' . . . since all things are passing, there is nothing in this life that is of ultimate significance, but simultaneously, because life is short, and our time on this earth is limited, there is nothing more important than the choices we make in time.' (Marc Foley, The Context of Holiness)

You don't get a do-over of today so don't let your single status stunt your potential.

Use this time to learn about yourself, grow in your relationship with God, figure out how to heal any wounds you may have, and form good, solid friendships. All those things will make any future relationship 100% better and healthier.

The saddest things ever is when people get stuck in their self-pity because they're not in a relationship and tear themselves down finding all the little reasons why they think they're not dating.

Don't let your opinion about yourself depend on whether or not your instagram photo gets 30 likes. To be confident is to be okay with who you are because everyone has imperfections.

Please don't beat yourself up or call yourself #ugly, #fatty, #loser, and #stupid. Your worth isn't defined by your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's defined by your Father. That means that God created you to be very, very good. He made you beautiful and capable and loving and independent. You can rock that without someone to hold your hand.

'The Lord goes with you, He will never leave you or forsake you.' (Deuteronomy 31:6)

(A.k.a #neveralone)

So . . . do a dance. You're amazing.

And I'm praying for you.

Christina Mead

About the Author

I'm just striving for sainthood through lots of imperfect ways. I daydream about heaven, where I want to be the patron saint of lifeguards. I think I might paint my nails just so I can pick it off. I wrote a book about Mary and what she taught us about being a Catholic girl. It's called "That One Girl" and I think you'd like it! You can email me at [email protected], or follow me on Twitter @LT_Christina.